So my boyfriend and I just discovered that he has apergers.. I'm 19 and he's 22.
It all makes sense, cause he's always been kind of different and been a bit hard to figure out.
We met each other last January and started dating in April.. He was my first and I must admit that I'm not a very sexual active person, my drive is pretty low where as his sexual drive is all up in the sky, so we've always had a problem with that. Everything seemed amazing at first, but at the start of June everything kind of started to turn the other way, he became more distant and cold towards me.. btw I'm a really emotional person. He became more and more distant towards me and our friends and became a bit addicted to drugs. Since he was being an asshole towards me, I started to loose more and more interest in having sexual intercourse with him, which frustrated him even more.. I even started thinking that he cheated on me.
Later on, we started doing "couple therapy" with drugs and everything started to turn out better.
We've always had different opinions and often misunderstand each other, which can lead to a lot of arguments.
Here in January, just a little while after being home from California (where I was away for two weeks), he said that he really hated how our relationship has turned out and that we either try to fix things or break up. To me, this came like a total shock, since I thought everything was going so well. We talked a bit about it and he told me what the problems were "we don't agree enough" "We argue too much" and that was also the day he told me he has aspergers.
We started researching more about it and everything made sense. He didn't ask "stupid" questions in arguments to be sassy, he honestly didn't understand, which made me feel really bad that I've gotten so angry at him when he asked weird questions in our arguments.
After that I started to be more careful and I know that he's had a really bad time here lately, so I've tried so hard to be there for him and fix things, but it was almost like he didn't want cooperate. He started saying nasty things to me and tried to make me seem like a bad person.
So I brought our problems up again, cause I really didn't believe that he could see this working out.
A little background story on his past relationship (really important for the next part) ;
So he had a girlfriend of two years before me. She was a total borderline.
She started drama all the time, threaten to cut herself in front of him, used his money, cheated on him and even faked that somebody raped her, but she could give him one thing I couldn't, sex. That's why he stayed with her for so long, cause to was just the wildest sex fantasy.
As we were talking, I asked him the question I've always wanted answers to; "Did you ever cheat on me? I want you to be 100% honest, cause I already know the answer" and he just stayed quiet. I told him that I knew he's been cheating on me with his ex, I don't know how, I just knew.. and he admitted that he did and some other random girl.. so twice.
He told me, that he didn't think of it as a big deal, but it's a big deal to me. He's done so many things like this, like chatting on skype with girls from tinder, kissed with another girl in a toilet when I was right next door and so on. It's the same excuse "I don't see it as a big deal" where as if I did stuff like that, he would dump me. I honestly think it's because I'm not giving him any sex, but how could I? I can't find myself sexually attractive to someone who treats me like that. I also think that he might be addicted to drama, since he had a girlfriend like that and he always wants to start arguments with me... I might be too boring for him...
We've decided now to take a weeks break, with no communication, and think about what we can do to make this better. He really wants to fix this himself, cause I've given him so many opportunities to break up with me.
What should I do?
Thank you..
No Name
It all makes sense, cause he's always been kind of different and been a bit hard to figure out.
We met each other last January and started dating in April.. He was my first and I must admit that I'm not a very sexual active person, my drive is pretty low where as his sexual drive is all up in the sky, so we've always had a problem with that. Everything seemed amazing at first, but at the start of June everything kind of started to turn the other way, he became more distant and cold towards me.. btw I'm a really emotional person. He became more and more distant towards me and our friends and became a bit addicted to drugs. Since he was being an asshole towards me, I started to loose more and more interest in having sexual intercourse with him, which frustrated him even more.. I even started thinking that he cheated on me.
Later on, we started doing "couple therapy" with drugs and everything started to turn out better.
We've always had different opinions and often misunderstand each other, which can lead to a lot of arguments.
Here in January, just a little while after being home from California (where I was away for two weeks), he said that he really hated how our relationship has turned out and that we either try to fix things or break up. To me, this came like a total shock, since I thought everything was going so well. We talked a bit about it and he told me what the problems were "we don't agree enough" "We argue too much" and that was also the day he told me he has aspergers.
We started researching more about it and everything made sense. He didn't ask "stupid" questions in arguments to be sassy, he honestly didn't understand, which made me feel really bad that I've gotten so angry at him when he asked weird questions in our arguments.
After that I started to be more careful and I know that he's had a really bad time here lately, so I've tried so hard to be there for him and fix things, but it was almost like he didn't want cooperate. He started saying nasty things to me and tried to make me seem like a bad person.
So I brought our problems up again, cause I really didn't believe that he could see this working out.
A little background story on his past relationship (really important for the next part) ;
So he had a girlfriend of two years before me. She was a total borderline.
She started drama all the time, threaten to cut herself in front of him, used his money, cheated on him and even faked that somebody raped her, but she could give him one thing I couldn't, sex. That's why he stayed with her for so long, cause to was just the wildest sex fantasy.
As we were talking, I asked him the question I've always wanted answers to; "Did you ever cheat on me? I want you to be 100% honest, cause I already know the answer" and he just stayed quiet. I told him that I knew he's been cheating on me with his ex, I don't know how, I just knew.. and he admitted that he did and some other random girl.. so twice.
He told me, that he didn't think of it as a big deal, but it's a big deal to me. He's done so many things like this, like chatting on skype with girls from tinder, kissed with another girl in a toilet when I was right next door and so on. It's the same excuse "I don't see it as a big deal" where as if I did stuff like that, he would dump me. I honestly think it's because I'm not giving him any sex, but how could I? I can't find myself sexually attractive to someone who treats me like that. I also think that he might be addicted to drama, since he had a girlfriend like that and he always wants to start arguments with me... I might be too boring for him...
We've decided now to take a weeks break, with no communication, and think about what we can do to make this better. He really wants to fix this himself, cause I've given him so many opportunities to break up with me.
What should I do?
Thank you..
No Name
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