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Being odd vs being silent

142857

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I used to isolate myself from people because I could never come up with the right words to say in any given situation. So people would talk to me and I'd just freeze up, say nothing or maybe manage to squeeze out something monosyllabic. Or grin like an idiot so people would hopefully think that I was trying to be friendly in a silent kind of way.

The problem with this is that it is considered rude by regular people. So you end up with people not liking you, not wanting to have you around.

If you throw caution to the wind though and just say whatever pops into your head, then if you are anything like me you are going to come across as odd.

I basically got to a point when I was about 30 where I realized that I couldn't go on just seeming to ignore people, hiding away in my silence and hoping not to be noticed. Sometimes that meant that I'd have a few things that happened to me recently saved up in case someone asked me "what did you do on the weekend" or whatever. Eventually my confidence improved and I got better at small talk and stuff. Not good at it, just not hopeless any more.

So yes, I found that the latter approach was a lot better for me. People are going to think you are odd and rude if you don't talk to them. But if you just say whatever pops into your head then at least you will only be considered odd. Just as long as you can avoid saying something totally inappropriate.
 
Hmm, cool.
I sometimes ignore people based on whether or not they've treated me like **** in the past(I don't see why people think it's okay to try and engage in small talk with me after some of the things they've done...). I just look up at them, and either smile or keep a straight face. I suck so much with keeping a straight face though so sometimes it's straight and then it'll slowly turn into a giant grin.
I really hope this makes me look crazy rather than just plain stupid.
Most people I'll give just closed answers too though. Or if the question is inappropriate and the only reason they're asking is too see if I'd answer, which trust me is a lot, I'll either give them a really far out answer for fun if I'm in a good mood or if I'm in a crap mood I'll just mumble pessimistically something like, 'dude, like wtf, why you asking me this...?' or something.
I don't really care if people like my responses or not. Sometimes I just give a sarky response to kill any possibility of a conversation spouting because I really hate having mindless conversations for the next 50 minutes of a lesson about a new range of shoes the brand of which I've never heard of, the shop in which sold I've never been too, etc. Honestly I just find the people at my school really boring so I don't bother.
Being percieved as normal when you have AS is too much trouble for the 'benefits' you get(I say it like it's some sort of privilege but for NTs it's just a right).
EMZ=]
 
I've found no matter what I do people hate me. If I am odd, I'm annoying. If I am quiet, I'm depressing.

It seems that even though I try really hard. I just cant get it right.
 
I am having problems with this. Half the time when I try to make conversation with my roommate she just doesn't respond. She pretends like I haven't spoken. I have to guess I am annoying her, and then I feel embarrassed because my attempt to be friendly has failed and I am sure I must look foolish. But I don't want to just NOT talk ever, and I would be so lonely if I only ever spoke until spoken too. I already don't say like 70% of what I want to say because I figure roommate is a ***** and doesn't care about anything I say anyway, even though I listen to all her mindless drivel. This is why I have a single room for next year and am trying to get one for my internship program. I can't handle having to think about these things 24/7. I manage to make it through the day okay but I need some time to not be a freak. :\
 

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