Becoming nonverbal in stressful situations

[Warmheart]

I have an odd problem. When highly stressed due to either sensory overload or being in a situation with my triggers, and people are interacting with me, I suddenly loose speech.

Sometimes I keep helplessly saying the same stock phrase, example: "I don't know... I don't know... I don't know..." or "Okay.... okay...okay..."

Worse, if the person doesn't stop questioning me/talking at me, I totally lose speech altogether! Then, I'm stuck. Totally stuck. Not a single word will come out-- it's like a traffic jam inside my frustrated head. All I can do is finally hold up both my hands in front of the person, and try to make a horrified exit.

This happened twice this week, both in medical settings involving doctors, nurses, and I felt helpless. I had no way to communicate, and things got very bad. It's happened at a crazy-busy grocery store when someone has come up and chatted at me, and at a craft fair in a crowd when someone started asking me something. It's happened since I was a little kid, but it's more now, probably due to the hormonal hoopla of "mental pause" making things harder overall.

What is happening? What to do in this situation, when you become nonverbal due to stress?

 

[bentHnau]

Selective Mutism?
Selective Mutism

 

[Nanda]

First of all, hiii and welcome (i see you are a new member)

My friend, i think this may be called selective mutism, look it up on google. I dont know if i can say something helpful about what you can do, but as some people with selective mutism, you can take with you some paper and a pen, so you can write when unable to speak.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Do you mean you can't talk like as in literally or as in you're too overwhelmed/overloaded? Cause i get the latter all the time at work. I'll get tired, hungry, etc and then cause of that my threshold for being able to deal with work related crap goes drastically down and nearly anything can set it off. One upset customer and i'll be all but mute for the remainder of that work period. My head just gets to overwhelmed in the moment trying to piece together the person's nonverbal cues (which i can't read normally let alone when stressed) and trying to reply to them while remaining professional (doesn't happen) and then me getting upset with myself for not being able to read them or handle it well. By the time i'm done with the customer and they're gone i'm just overloaded and i shutdown even if the problem with the customer only lasted a minute. In these situations i can generally force myself to speak if the situation calls for it and i can't get away with just a shake of the head or a simple gesture but doing so takes so so much effort. Its like trying to lift something twice my size. Plus even when i force myself to talk i can't think clearly enough to summon up a proper, professional sounding sentence and that just makes me even more upset. I generally just let it go on when it happens, it'll dissipate eventually.

 

[zurb]

When I am in a stressful situation, my mind can go blank. [My physical speech apparatus still obviously works but] I can not speak because there are simply no words in my brain to say! This of course creates a feedback loop of creating more stress, and more brain jam.

This is what I believe is called selective mutism* (though my definition has been questioned here).
Mutism means I can not speak. Selective means it happens in certain situations (not all the time). Selective doesn't mean I have any choice over it.

Best I can offer is to do your best to stay calm. If you find another solution, please let me know.

*my browser refuses to open the link given above, so I'm not sure how it compares.

 

[giraffesec]

I have a similar issue where as my brain and speech jam and I stutter and loose words completely its really embarrassing

 

[AsheSkyler]

Ditto, with the selective mutism (or situational mutism, whichever fits better). And a wee bit of echolalia or perhaps scripted phrasing when you get stuck on the same word or few words.

I stutter, sputter, and make you think I'm the illegitimate child of Sylvester the Cat and Porky Pig. My info bottlenecking doesn't cause mutism, but some days I wish it did! By that point I usually figure my image has taken as much of a loss as it's gonna take, so I just blow a raspberry to clear the traffic jam and try again. What do I care, a raspberry can't be any more embarrassing than tripping all over my tongue and tying a knot in it like I did a moment ago.
The only times mutism kicks in on me when I'm under a LOT of emotional stress, usually after getting lectured, insulted, and harassed for hours on end. At that point I just shut down and stare at either whoever is annoying me or some poor inanimate object.

 

[zurb]

I stutter, sputter, and make you think I'm the illegitimate child of Sylvester the Cat and Porky Pig. My info bottlenecking doesn't cause mutism, but some days I wish it did! By that point I usually figure my image has taken as much of a loss as it's gonna take, so I just blow a raspberry to clear the traffic jam and try again.

Haha, I've been known to do this too
I like the word 'situational' - the meaning seems clearer.

 

[Saragrl]

I have an odd problem. When highly stressed due to either sensory overload or being in a situation with my triggers, and people are interacting with me, I suddenly loose speech.

I know what you mean. I don't see it being selective speech at all, because I want to speak but it's like I no longer have access to the part of my brain that lets me speak. I put up a thread similar to this, but dealing with fatigue and speech ability. I am really beginning to think that since we are on the spectrum, our brains are not far off from our friends on the lower functioning side. I have a theory that high functioning autisics have more wiring to the brain to access speech, though it is a much thinner pathway then NT's. As such more energy is required to efficiently use those small pathways. I think it's very possible that under stress or fatigue our brains need so much energy to process the environment, non verbal cues, and the situation in general it can not allocate the resources to efficiently send data through the narrow speech pathways.

We are a spectrum after all. Why are there non verbal, and verbal, but nothing in between. I think there is, and we are the ones that under stress or fatigue lose our ability to speak. I think it has to do with how large the pathway to the speech areas of the brain are. Just a theory, but I think it's logical.

 

[Warmheart]

Saragirl, that makes sense to me. It's a frustrating situation. Thank you everyone for sharing your perspectives!

 

[Kirsty]

I have an odd problem. When highly stressed due to either sensory overload or being in a situation with my triggers, and people are interacting with me, I suddenly loose speech.

Sometimes I keep helplessly saying the same stock phrase, example: "I don't know... I don't know... I don't know..." or "Okay.... okay...okay..."

Worse, if the person doesn't stop questioning me/talking at me, I totally lose speech altogether! Then, I'm stuck. Totally stuck. Not a single word will come out-- it's like a traffic jam inside my frustrated head. All I can do is finally hold up both my hands in front of the person, and try to make a horrified exit.

This happened twice this week, both in medical settings involving doctors, nurses, and I felt helpless. I had no way to communicate, and things got very bad. It's happened at a crazy-busy grocery store when someone has come up and chatted at me, and at a craft fair in a crowd when someone started asking me something. It's happened since I was a little kid, but it's more now, probably due to the hormonal hoopla of "mental pause" making things harder overall.

What is happening? What to do in this situation, when you become nonverbal due to stress?

I don't have an answer to help you because I'm exactly the same in everything you said, ever since I was a kid too. I just want to leave discreetly somehow, but I am physically stuck as well as verbally. My brain goes into freeze mode at the same time. Then I'd start squeezing my arms or clench my hands into a fist or my fingers will rapidly move (like playing the piano) as a way of stimming I suppose. I feel so relieved I'm not alone. Never understood myself, really. I feel like a freak. Especially when I'm out in the world on my own with no family or partner.

 

[zurb]

I know what you mean. I don't see it being selective speech at all, because I want to speak but it's like I no longer have access to the part of my brain that lets me speak.

Interesting perspective - I almost wrote something similar, but didn't know what to say. Remember though 'selective' is from a third party's (ie psychologist's) perspective, not ours.

I am slow at responses and in speech at the best of times. My theory is that we simply think at a much deeper level than NTs, and because there is so much more going on in our brain, it takes longer, not that we think any slower.
In those times that I'm mute, my brain may well be racing and full of thoughts, the most dominant ones being 'Go away, I've had enough, ...'
In a work situation, I can't let those ones out, but at the same time I can't access the 'correct' answer which has been swamped. It might be in there somewhere, but I can't find it.
At this point I'm likely to 'freeze' and like a spectator watch disaster unfold. I don't have the mental capacity left to fight, flight or fawn.
Words are so limiting - don't think I've yet really written my thoughts...

 

[Warmheart]

Kirsty my compassion that your body is also stuck in a freeze. How distressing! We understand eachother well, I think. Thank goodness this is a temporary state.
Zurb, you nailed it with "Go away, I've had enough." I think being peppered with questions or demands for answers exacerbates this odd mute state.
I guess I didn't think this happened to anyone else. Maybe, too, I was rather hoping that there would be some sort of a fix for this, besides just waiting for it to pass.
I'm just gonna hafta become a mime.

 

[zurb]

Zurb, you nailed it with "Go away, I've had enough." I think being peppered with questions or demands for answers exacerbates this odd mute state.

And then they start misinterpreting our silence as that we're hiding something or being deceptive, so they make unfounded assumptions about our 'motive' for muteness. And so the cycle continues.

 

[DarkAscent]

I have this problem too. But thing is, I'm also very shy but do not have selective mutism. In stressful situations, it's like my brain freezes and the words in my mind scramble into an indecipherable mass. I forget how to speak and stand there, completely mute unless I have my phone with me because then I can type out what I want to say.

It is distressing. What I find helpful is to find a solitary place and get on with my special interest or stim. Then my ability to speak comes back gradually.

 

[Kirsty]

I really wish I can also be more comfortable with myself freely like everyone else when they talk. I'm like always ill at ease but a lot better when I go off and do my own thing. I'm glad it's a temporary thing too, but I hate it.

 

[Nadador]

Warmheart, the process you describe, of at first experiencing mental overload, then apparent palilalia [repeating the same phrase over and over], then, if pressed, going utterly mute, doesn't sound like Selective Mutism to me. It sounds much more like an anxiety/panic response, culminating in Psychogenic Conversion Aphonia. SM is often the look-to for people on the spectrum, and there is so much information about it online that other disorders get more or less lost in the flood. Indeed, the focus on Selective Mutism is so strong that even clinicians often seem to ignore PCA and its counterpart, Psychogenic Conversion Dysphonia [where the voice is not completely lost, but is altered, as in hoarseness or whisper], as possible diagnoses. In adults, PCA/PCD are actually more likely, from what I've read.

PCA/PCD causes bowing of the laryngeal folds that inhibits normal phonation, or stops it altogether. Though the folds appear altered, they are not physically damaged, as the changes are triggered psychologically. There are effective therapies, available through both psychologists and speech pathologists. You might want to start with the former, though you should go prepared with information about PCA/PCD in case the doctor is unfamiliar. Because you are on the spectrum, they may immediately assume SM, so another suggestion, with supporting documentation in hand, may be necessary to get them off that track.

When I have a serious meltdown, I can become completely aphonic for days. I don't go through a period of palilalia before onset, as you do, but this is likely because my meltdowns are more often caused by sudden traumatic depression rather than acute situational confusion or anxiety. [I have palilalia just generally, as a symptom of my Tourette's.] Anyway, because of my own problem, I've done a great deal of research on my aphonic episodes, but via academic databases rather than Internet searches. This is how I came to know about PCA/PCD. It's been enlightening, and I'm frustrated that it isn't better known among the public.

A good Google search on these disorders should help you determine if they sounds like a fit for you. Good luck. I hope this helps.

P.S.: You might want to try this: When you go mute in these situations, force yourself to cough. Redirecting your attention to yourself, to do the coughing, can take you out of the situation for a moment, and the cough may help you return your laryngeal folds to their proper positioning.

 

[Kari Suttle]

In stressful situations, it's like my brain freezes and the words in my mind scramble into an indecipherable mass. I forget how to speak and stand there...

This most accurately describes how I feel when I 'go mute' in stressful situations. Its not that I can't speak, hence why I feel the diagnosis selective mutism that everyone is prescribing does not fit, but morelike as you said I freeze. Everything is scrambled up in my head but not chaotic like in a meltdown just scrambled up and froze there. If prompted with a direct question that requires a verbal response I can get out of it enough to reply, but its never anything like what I'd normally say. Trying to explain a register's computer problem to my supervisor then becomes a garbled, couple word to one sentence long attempt rather than a clear, concise explanation as to what its doing. I feel that Nadador calling this a panic/anxiety response with its roots in the brain is most descriptively accurate cause that's what it feels like to me. Though I've never heard of PCA/PCD before so I've nothing to say regarding them.

 

[Warmheart]

Nadador, you've done some impressive research, and you explain things so well. Thank you for your considerations, and in offering these ideas.

I'm not really sure what to think. Honestly, this feels more like a brain thing to me. Like, when multiple gumballs in the gumball machine get jammed in the chute, and now no gumballs will come out. That is happening-- in my brain. If I really push myself in this situation, no words can come out, but sometimes a forced, pushed-out "Mmm...........mmm...." can make it through. No words, just silence, though sometimes, with great effort, the forced, pushed Mmm sound.

Please, I am new here, and I am not sure if it is okay to post links?

Here is a short film showing someone with Aspergers who gets overloaded and loses speech for a bit.

This clip is from an old move Rain Man, shows under stress, repeating a stock phrase, "I don't know, v-e-r-n..." and some loss of speech due to stress (someone visiting him and touching/moving stuff in his room). This happens right before I lose speech, I end up saying "I don't know.. I don't know" before everything clams up totally.

 

[Nadador]

Thanks for the compliment, and yes, it's all right to share links and images, as long as they conform to the rules of the forums. I'm very glad for the first one you posted, in fact. That was fascinating. I'd not seen nor heard of it before.

Sounds like the best bet for you would definitely be to seek a doctor's counsel. Please do share your findings with us, if you do. What helps one of us will likely help others.