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bad jokes without realizing it

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Eren, Jun 11, 2021 at 10:47 AM.

  1. Eren

    Eren Member

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    It has always been impossible for me to relate to IRL people, but the few times that I have felt somewhat confident in a group (IRL or online) I always end up making jokes in bad taste, without realizing it, and most people ends up getting angry with me, does it happen to someone else?
     
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  2. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    I do it all the time. Not meaning to of course, but yeah my mouth will open and my brain won’t kick in until too late.

    My husband is the same, we think he's possibly on the spectrum (an engineer like so many on the spectrum). We do it to each other so much we laugh now about it.

    Don’t feel bad it happens to everyone. Have you asked a woman when she was due to have her baby only to learn she is overweight? Yeah, BTDT, it’s horrible and you will only do that once lol.
     
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  3. Barymore

    Barymore nevertheless, she persisted V.I.P Member

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    Whenever I make a potentially risky joke I hold my breath to see what side of the divide it will fall :-D Even after years its still fairly hit and miss, so I just make jokes around my wife. In public it sometimes seems I have a really, really dry humor - but mostly its comments I make because I dont get the conversation and am being totally literal.
     
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  4. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    I have a large number of painful experiences with this.
    • People will jokingly insult each other, but get mad or offended when I try it. Apparently, I go too far, or you have to be in the "in group" to get away with that.
    • People laugh at inside jokes, but if I refer to the same inside jokes, they are not well received - again, because I'm not in the "in group".
    I've found that the only safe humor is kind humor.
    Bad puns are okay.
    Dad jokes are okay.
    Any humor that makes fun of or insults anyone is problematic. If I can't get it right, I'm safer off not using it at all.
    I can get away with self-deprecating humor, but occasionally someone will miss out on the fact that I'm joking (because I'm totally deadpan and flat-toned, I don't give off the "I'm joking" cues), and say something like, "Don't insult yourself like that!"
     
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  5. Amy Stone

    Amy Stone Seeing the World a Bit Differently V.I.P Member

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    All. The. Time.

    I am known for making inappropriate jokes. I crack myself up but I'm the only one that thinks so, apparently. I learned to be quiet at parties and only speak when spoken to. I save my inappropriate jokes for home now (not that I leave much these days).

    I wonder if all us Aspies got together if we would think each other is funny or not. Humm... :rolleyes:
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Think we can see the absurdity of situations because we don't think like NT box people. We allow our minds to wander taking in multiple data dumps then try to make sense or jokes of it all, simply for entertainment purposes of course.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Like you, l have to have a joke filter, and a compliment filter because l can easy screw that up. I told this one mom her child looked exactly like big bird from Sesame Street, she had the exact yellow, foofoo feather thing, and the same shape as big bird, OOPS, don't ever say to a mom. Her child was a preteen in that chubby stage some of us go thru at that age.
     
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  8. Barymore

    Barymore nevertheless, she persisted V.I.P Member

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    I have a personal rule about that: I always compliment people on their kids / animals, eventhough its really hard sometimes!
    Eg: Person with madly barking tiny fluffy dog: "oooh! is that a (insert somewhat appropriate breed), those are very (insert appropriate positive adjective)! :tearsofjoy: with kids I usually go clothing or hair...... :grimacing: has the added benefit of getting them talking and I dont have to.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2021 at 1:41 PM
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  9. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I avoid telling jokes to most people unless I know them quite well.
    Things I find funny a lot of other people don't.
    I have a dark/morbid sense of humour.
     
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  10. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    I switch voices a lot doing that. Mostly though I keep my humor inside. Truthfully it's been awhile since I've found anything funny.
    And yes it has gotten me into trouble. Especially when I was in school.
     
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  11. Eren

    Eren Member

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    The same thing happens to me, I also have a "peculiar" sense of humor, many people have told me, but when I have a lot of confidence in a group I find it difficult not to say anything.

    It's weird, at first I can't say anything at all, and when I'm very confident it's like taking "too much confidence" and ending up making jokes in bad taste.
     
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  12. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    I’m terrible at laughing at the wrong time (according to the NT). Have busted laughing at church and in court, I was the one in trouble and LOL when the cop was describing me drunk - had no idea I had been that funny! The judge did not see it as funny at all, but I honestly could not help myself it was as natural as breathing.
    Could not stop laughing.

    Not sure if it’s an aspie thing or not but gosh my mouth has gotten me into trouble not meaning too at all.
     
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  13. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    Same here, dark/morbid sense off humor. Great isn’t it! :D:p
     
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  14. Eren

    Eren Member

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    Exactly that happens to me, I laugh in situations where I shouldn't laugh and sometimes people get really upset about it.
     
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