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Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Mattymatt, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    Yesterday, after day two of security guard training I got to my car and had a private meltdown. This happened because I was thinking about how far I've sunken into underemployment. I justput my sunglasses on and cried. The past four years have been unkind to me. I really want to work in technology but it's just not possible right now because I've been out of work so long and my certifications are all expired. I have no money to update them.

    I guess I can credit myself to maintaining control of my emotions for as long as I was able. The thoughts in my head are that underemployment is demoralizing. I want to think that any employment is good. I just need to correct my thinking. Any employment is good no matter what it is. Why doi feel like I must keep pushing myself harder and harder? This thinking is self-desttuctive. There is no reason to push harder. Le sigh! The old phrase, "Easy does it!!!!"
     
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  2. disconnected

    disconnected Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Matt, I’m your age and in your state (Pennsylvania). I’ve reopened my case with ovr and am scheduled for a full evaluation of my vocational strengths and weaknesses so they can lead me to a career I’ll enjoy.

    Have you looked into OVR? It’s slow and takes forever, but it may be worth it.
     
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  3. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    Hi, I'm no longer in PA. I moved to Delaware. PA Vocational Rehabilitation was a waste of time for me. I got nothing out of them. Delaware's is much better. Once I have 6 months of residency, I will qualify for retraining funds. I just need to hang in there until April of 2019.
     
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  4. TheFreeCat

    TheFreeCat Member

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    Many people are demoralized right now. It doesn't make it any easier, I know, but the powers that be are making it very hard for people trying to stay afloat.
     
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  5. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know?

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    Hey Matt. Many of us feel where you're coming from. You know you'll bounce back from this blip - you've done it before. You've earned so much admiration and respect from people here for your grit, your determination to keep plugging at it and prevail. We all have moments when we lose it, everything feels like too much and the light at the end of the tunnel winks out of sight. You know it's still there - you just need to will that switch back into the ON position so you can see that light again.
    You've got that training funding next April in hand, and you've got that Cisco Systems training waiting for you as well.
    You're a trier Matt and you've got every single one of us that has met you on here behind you willing you on :)
     
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  6. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    What @Autistamatic said. Easy does it. :) and hang in there. It's hard but I know you can do this. Just keep looking at that light at the end of the tunnel.
     
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  7. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    All of you guys are wonderful! Thank you so much for the support. Things will get better as they have to.
     
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  8. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    True. But don't forget about Matt as well. After all, the guy has an amazing ability to keep trying and bounce back as well. Very cool. :cool:
     
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  9. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Not so well known member of anything V.I.P Member

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    Our society puts a lot of pressure on men to work, without many gaps in employment, so that a man’s self esteem is dependent upon what they do for a living.
    It IS important but it doesn’t define who we are. Society causes a lot of stress and pressure!
    Hang in there kid. You are like memory foam...regains previous form after extreme pressure.
     
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  10. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know?

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    Whatever idiot came up with the idea that autistic people lack caring for others would never have believed this thread ;)
     
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  11. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    Spot on! My fellows on the spectrum are some of the most caring people I have ever encountered in my life. The fact that anyone would still believe that folks on the spectrum lack empathy is proof positive of the abysmal state of the mental health profession. Well, to be fair, the mental health profession has never been in a really good state anyway. Psychiatry has always been treated as the red-headed step child of medicine.
     
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  12. BraidedPony

    BraidedPony Not so well known member of anything V.I.P Member

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    I can tell you what idiot...
    Narcissistic psychiatrists that want attention for some little boo boo at once! but the Aspie was busy at the moment (proof reading the latest DSM for grammar and spelling)
     
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  13. SunnyDay16

    SunnyDay16 Well-Known Member

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    Finding and keeping a job is hard as hell for many people, it's just the nature of the economy we live in. There's really only so much you can do and you've done as much as you can, so no need to be hard on yourself. Much of it is out of our control.
     
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  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    How true. Compounded by the Internet and email. Where electronic filtering can keep a person from even obtaining an interview. Where one's physical presence might make a difference as opposed to simply how they appear "on paper".
     
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  15. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    Tomorrow is the licensing exam. Then my first day actually on the job is on Monday. I can't say I'm excited. I'll be happier once I know what the site I'm assigned to us going to be like. I'm hoping it is fairly low key. My uniform doesn't look really good on me. Still have weight to lose.
     
  16. Cactus

    Cactus Active Member V.I.P Member

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    I have an interview tomorrow for a Program Assistant at Exceptional Persons, Inc. The position is primarily administrative, duties which I'm good at and enjoy. However, I'm very nervous about the interview. I break eye contact when formulating an answer to a question. I sometimes misinterpret a question, and I'm lost as to body language meaning. I've also been told I seem a little off during a first meeting.

    I'll do my best. I'm so used to failure that if I'm not successful I'll just keep trying. Although that keeps getting harder to do.
     
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  17. onlything

    onlything Looking for something V.I.P Member

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    The good thing is that if you have work, you earn money and with money you can refresh your certifications. Then, maybe you'll be able to get that job in technology. Just don't give up. You're doing the best you can given the circumstances.
     
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  18. Mattymatt

    Mattymatt Imperfectly Perfect

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    Tomorrow is the licensing exam. Then my first day actually on the job is on Monday. I can't say I'm excited. I'll be happier once I know what the site I'm assigned to us going to be like. I'm hoping it is fairly low key. My uniform doesn't look really good on me. Still have weight to lose.
     
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  19. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Will be thinking of you tomorrow - wish you well on the exam and hope you get that low key site.
     
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  20. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hope all goes well for you, too. Just try to relax and if you realize you've misunderstood something, then just say, "Oh, I misunderstood," and re-answer. Relax and good luck!