Back to the same question.....

[Aspychata]

Is it lust or love, l am so confused with this question. Do l love you? Do l lust after you? I truthfully can't tell. I am not a bad person. I just don't have a skill set that helps me decipher these fine details in life. Don't call me names, don't hate me.

Anybody else suffer thru this?

 

[Metalhead]

Maybe if you can’t tell, it means both at the same time, and there is no shame in that.

 

[Ken]

There can be no shame in confusion. Being confused is not a personal choice, so it cannot be shameful.

Perhaps asking yourself a few questions might help answer your question:
Would you feel the same way if the one you "love" was grotesquely ugly and severely deformed?
Would you feel the same way if the one you "love" did not share your feelings and wanted nothing to do with you?

I guess my point is that true love is for the person inside (only), not the package or their feelings for you.
Lust is for the package. "Loving" both the person and package is invalid. If the package has any importance, then it's not true love.

Just my opinion.

 

[Aspychata]

I guess l get this. The spirit is beautiful. However the spirit is part of the ensemble. Maybe l have too much experience. I have experience spirits and the physical. I am at fault.

 

[Judge]

Sure...guilty as charged depending on the person in question. Talk about confusion though. I mean, the one I believed to be in love with the most was also undeniably hypersexual. Go figure. Must be my karma....

 

[Ken]

I guess l get this. The spirit is beautiful. However the spirit is part of the ensemble. Maybe l have too much experience. I have experience spirits and the physical. I am at fault.

I do not believe the spirit is part of the assembly.

A person's "assembly" can become severely altered. It can become disfigured beyond recognition. It can become severely disabled. But, they are still the same person.

 

[Aspychata]

Hpersexual is like the last guy l saw. Who gave me a report card on my lower extremities. Kinda of interesting. It was all good. But that has never happened to me before. Lol. @Judge

 

[Judge]

Hpersexual is like the last guy l saw. Who gave me a report card on my lower extremities. Kinda of interesting. It was all good. But that has never happened to me before. Lol. @Judge

Sounds like an educator. Hope you left him an apple on his nightstand.

 

[Aspychata]

He seems to be bewildered. He invited me over twice.

 

[Aspychata]

He still wants to talk to me.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

A hard one. I'd probably say that you need a bit of both. Lust for that initial attraction, but love that drove me to be aware of her pleasure . . . . she said that I was the first man who cared. We live in a sad world, my friends.

 

[vergil96]

For me, love requires time and friendship to develop. Also, it's unfair to reduce sexual attraction to sex, at least for me, it means a lot of enthusiasm for the person, even though I wouldn't call it romantic attraction, because I don't plot a future together right away and it takes time for me to get attatched to someone. It can also gp the other way round for me - I don't find attractive people whose way of being or personality throws me off.

 

[Aspychata]

The person l really liked on all levels just can't pick up the phone and say hi. Last nite l cried about this. Not sure, but in some way they must feel threatened and l can't stress them out. Communication is a situation of theirs. Not me.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

The person l really liked on all levels just can't pick up the phone and say hi. Last nite l cried about this. Not sure, but in some way they must feel threatened and l can't stress them out. Communication is a situation of theirs. Not me.

I feel sad for you @Aspychata . Communication is oxygen in a relationship and I see so many ND men hoping for a relationship who pay little attention to the communication that is so important in the care of each other.

The autistic boy I am mentoring is brilliant in his special interests and I believe he will put together a decent career. But he is in danger of being very limited. He believes that when he is ready, the world will gift him a companion, and he does not need to grow further. Another ND man with limited communication potential. I try to talk to him about practicing good communication with me but his mania concerning his special interests asserts itself to the exclusion of so much else.

 

[Aspychata]

I guess that's a tough one. A lot of men have that conception that the perfect woman will appear when it's the right time. Maybe a fantasy woman l guess. Then we end up with some very bitter older men who realize they will spend the rest of their life with nobody and somehow feel cheated. @Gerald Wilgus . Good point.

 

[Aspychata]

I have seen the person for almost years, and l still lust after him. So after 5 years is it love?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I have seen the person for almost years, and l still lust after him. So after 5 years is it love?

If not love, at least a strong infatuation.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I guess that's a tough one. A lot of men have that conception that the perfect woman will appear when it's the right time. Maybe a fantasy woman l guess. Then we end up with some very bitter older men who realize they will spend the rest of their life with nobody and somehow feel cheated. @Gerald Wilgus . Good point.

I stopped thinking about perfection when I took stock of myself and started dating. I ended up getting what I needed; a shy woman who wanted to find a man to do outdoor activities with and who eagerly accepted me sexually. Why fanticise when I met somebody who was such a good match. I jumped at the opportunity to show my love and enthusiasm towards her.

 

[paloftoon]

I have seen the person for almost years, and l still lust after him. So after 5 years is it love?

It's love if you can trust them, communicate with them, and both of you are balanced enough to be with each other. Otherwise, it's potentially love at most. There is nothing wrong with any of these scenarios. All you can do is always look for little things about yourself to work on- that never ends. Exercise, stay or start to eat healthy, learn more stuff, get a well paying job or one that satisfies you more, etc.

 

[Aspychata]

@paloftoon

I don't work anymore. Between abusive workplaces, taxes, gas, etc., it's cheaper for me to stay home.