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Awareness of your mannerisms in social interactions

M

mw2530

Well-Known Member
This may sound odd, but do any of you feel like you look normal when you are alone and look yourself in the mirror, but you appear to be almost a different person when you are in a social setting. It is hard to explain, but I've caught glimpses of myself in a mirror or a reflection while in a social setting and I look a whole lot different than when I am alone. I think it mostly has to do with my mannerisms in a social setting. It is quite obvious to me that I am not typical and I can understand how someone can quickly pick up that something is not quite right with me. But when I am alone, I appear quite normal. Maybe that's why it is so difficult to be aware of how we present ourselves in social settings - it is b/c we are blind to our differences when we are alone, but they emerge when with others. This post probably sounds confusing, but has anyone else noticed this?
 
People say I look really mad..... I usually am not mad and just say "this is my happy face." Also, recently a friend took a photo of me and I thought I was smiling (so awkward) but when I saw the photo, I looked ready to kill someone!
 
Meg12 said:
People say I look really mad..... I usually am not mad and just say "this is my happy face." Also, recently a friend took a photo of me and I thought I was smiling (so awkward) but when I saw the photo, I looked ready to kill someone!
Click to expand...

Yes, I've had the experience of seeing a photo and thinking that I looked much different than I thought.
 
Meg12 said:
People say I look really mad..... I usually am not mad and just say "this is my happy face." Also, recently a friend took a photo of me and I thought I was smiling (so awkward) but when I saw the photo, I looked ready to kill someone!
Click to expand...
My go to video for this...lol
 
you are normal all the time sad that you agree with their concept of normal i think we are normal they seem abnormal to me
mw2530 said:
This may sound odd, but do any of you feel like you look normal when you are alone and look yourself in the mirror, but you appear to be almost a different person when you are in a social setting. It is hard to explain, but I've caught glimpses of myself in a mirror or a reflection while in a social setting and I look a whole lot different than when I am alone. I think it mostly has to do with my mannerisms in a social setting. It is quite obvious to me that I am not typical and I can understand how someone can quickly pick up that something is not quite right with me. But when I am alone, I appear quite normal. Maybe that's why it is so difficult to be aware of how we present ourselves in social settings - it is b/c we are blind to our differences when we are alone, but they emerge when with others. This post probably sounds confusing, but has anyone else noticed this?
Click to expand...
 
mw2530 said:
But when I am alone, I appear quite normal. Maybe that's why it is so difficult to be aware of how we present ourselves in social settings - it is b/c we are blind to our differences when we are alone, but they emerge when with others.
Click to expand...
Absolutely.
 
Streetwise said:
you are normal all the time sad that you agree with their concept of normal i think we are normal they seem abnormal to me
Click to expand...

When I say normal, I mean being like most other people. My intent was not to speak of being normal as a positive or normal, but merely to point out differences.
 
I"m 64 years old so I've had plenty of time to work this out. I also had the advantage of having people tell me when I was in my twenties that I appeared cold and distant and didn't acknowledge people whom I'd met before. So, I tried to be warmer and friendlier and now I say Hi to just about everyone. It works for me :)
 
I've seen photos of myself when I'm alone or with a group of people but still not talking to anyone, and I look anxious and pensive (because that's the truth, I'm almost always anxious and my mind is always racing). I've also seen photos of myself when actually socializing and I look so much happier. These all pretty much depict the truth, because some people are able to just lift all the tension inside me while I'm around them, so I dread the moment at which we have to part and try to delay it with conversation.
 
mw2530 said:
It is hard to explain, but I've caught glimpses of myself in a mirror or a reflection while in a social setting and I look a whole lot different than when I am alone.
Click to expand...
Yes, this! So much this! I've had a bunch of times when I'm riding in a car with someone and I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the side mirror... and I looked pissed. For no reason at all, I just look pissed off. I don't feel angry or upset or anything but my face shows otherwise. Maybe I have RBF, lol. I don't know but I kind of wonder if I look angry or just blank when talking to people.
 
I know that I rarely smile, in photographs or otherwise, smiling does not feel natural to me and feels very forced and awkward.
I definitely have resting ***** face, guy edition :p
My dad's mum always used to yell at me for "looking angry all the time." I have been told by many people that they think I hate them because my facial expressions seem to indicate that I am not friendly and that I am not happy either.
I think most of the time, best case scenario for me is that I at least look slightly unamused or bored.
 
It took me seeing photos of myself at my junior high grad. Since then I remind myself but find I just don't care most days.

I'm very slouchy and lean my head forward. I also don't move my arms when I walk (too busy picking my pinkies with my thumbs or snapping my fingers - so my elbows and shoulsers are usually locked straight straight down). I also have exaggerated facial expressions when I interact with people.

The other day on the bus it occurred to me my face must look weird (from all the tension I could feel in my forhead) . I was curious so I whipped out my phone and took a picture (sitting at the back of an empty bus). Thus the result.
20170630_171542.jpg
I swear, if I try, I can actually come off as pretty, but I don't usually do myself any favours, this day at least I was wearing a descent sweater. Lol.
 
Years ago I decided to read the first Southern Vampire Mysteries book, and in the very first chapter Sookie says something like, "I have to spend so much effort shutting out the things I hear that I come off as stupid on account of not having much leftover attention to pay", and I just felt like she had described me. This was years before I got the diagnosis.

I feel like that in social sotuations. I am spending all my mental energy on blocking out sensory impressions and not freaking out that I have absolutely nothing left for authentic interaction. My dad kinda loves to introduce me to people and I kinda hate him for it.
 
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