Worrying about my autistic son's future

[imdoneone]

My oldest has autism. He is high functioning. How can I deter him from having a “girlfriend” and have children and at the same time encourage my younger son who is neurotypical to have girlfriends?

 

[Nitro]

My oldest has autism. He is high functioning. How can I deter him from having a “girlfriend” and have children and at the same time encourage my younger son who is neurotypical to have girlfriends?

Why don't you just treat him like the human being that he is and let him decide what is right for him?

 

[Mia]

Autism is genetically inherited, and you had children.

 

[anxiety247]

People with autism can be in relationships. Depending on who they are they may or may not want children or to do that thang to get children.

I know a few people with different variations of autism and it just depends on that person.

You shouldn't stop your son from having a girlfriend though.

 

[Wolfnox]

Why would you want to stop that?

 

[SolarPoweredNightOwl]

Teach him social skills, consent, how to respect women/people in general, and medically accurate sex education when he's at the appropriate age. Set him up for success, then butt out. Same goes for your NT kid.

 

[tree]

My oldest has autism. He is high functioning. How can I deter him from having a “girlfriend” and have children and at the same time encourage my younger son who is neurotypical to have girlfriends?

If the age on your Profile is really your age, your children must be very young.
Surely less than 10 years old. Generally boys that age aren't yearning for a
girlfriend to have babies with.

Also your Profile lists HFA-Officially diagnosed. Whose diagnosis is that?
Yours? Or for one of your children?

Your post reads like a premise for a social thought experiment.

 

[imdoneone]

I meant as he gets older.

 

[tree]

I meant as he gets older.

How old are they now?

 

[imdoneone]

The twins are 4.

 

[GadAbout]

Is your premise that people with autism shouldn't reproduce? That's barbarous.

Or is your premise that people with autism shouldn't have a close relationship as they mature, to replace the relationships with parents and other family? Equally barbarous.

 

[Fino]

Wow.

 

[Isadoorian]

The twins are 4.

You say "your oldest" yet they're somehow the exact same age?

Something doesn't add up here Chief.

 

[imdoneone]

Well, my oldest twin.

 

[Fino]

How are our responses in comparison to your expectations?

 

[Jeremiah]

You say "your oldest" yet they're somehow the exact same age?

Something doesn't add up here Chief.

Even twins are born one at the time, so they have age difference, usually measured in minutes, sometimes hours or rarely even days. This doesn't really matter in modern western culture, but in Japan (if anime is correct here), twins might have older sibling-younger sibling relationship.

 

[Starfire]

The answer in short is, you can’t, hormones will kick in and nature will take its course.

There again, as the father of a child on the spectrum, I don’t believe you hold and look at your 4 year old son, and wish them to be alone and unloved in the future. I don’t believe any parent would write what you wrote therefore, I believe you just made this account for the purpose of your own entertainment and to ‘set the cat amongst the pigeons.’ Nice try, I’m not buying it

 

[Autistamatic]

Treat both your sons with love and respect their needs. Give them the tools to make their own decisions. Treat neither as a favourite. You may find, as happened in my family's case, that as adults your autistic son makes you proud and your NT son is a disappointment to you.

Your comments about their reproductive futures are horrific and eugenicist. I sincerely hope you are a troll trying to wind people up and not a real person who holds such barbaric views. Such views have no place in the 21st century.

 

[Stuart1975]

My oldest has autism. He is high functioning. How can I deter him from having a “girlfriend” and have children and at the same time encourage my younger son who is neurotypical to have girlfriends?

WHAT! Thankfully you probably won’t have much influence on either.

 

[Bolletje]

Why would you want to stop him from having a relationship? What are you afraid of? I have HFA and it doesn’t stop me from being in a fulfilling, mostly healthy relationship. I’ve had a few long term relationships in the past and I really don’t think my autism somehow disqualified me from being in one. There are challenges, yes, but that’s true for relationships between neurotypical people as well.
I have a lot of love and loyalty to give and I would be absolutely heartbroken if my parents were to tell me I wasn’t allowed to date for some reason or another. Not that they have any say in the case, as I’m 33.