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Autistic Dating Sites Or Agencies Where You Can Pair Up With People To Help And Support

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Jonathan1990, Jun 16, 2021.

  1. Jonathan1990

    Jonathan1990 Member

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    First there's the mainstream dating sites like Plenty Of Fish and OK Cupid which are no good for me as no women every reply and will even block if you say the wrong thing. Then there is the autistic dating sites that allow autistic men to pair up with autistic women. From my experiences I've had this just doesn't work for the following reasons.

    1. There are not many autistic women
    2. The autistic woman that I got in touch with who I actually knew from my past couldn't think straight, only wanted men as friends and when trying to arrange a meeting up date became very difficult and making things seem impossible.
    3. Lots find it hard to interact.
    4. Autistic women are heavily protected and defended by their parents or carers.

    Although for some men here dating with women that are also autistic may work 100% for me I really think something like this would be better.

    • An autistic dating site or agency where the autistic person can sign up.
    • Normal people can register too but will need to fill out additional details to help the autistic individual like if they drive.
    • Hopefully give people with autism the chance to pair up with someone that can support them similar to what support workers do but this would be a supported relationship.
    I have seen this done before which means it's possible.
     
  2. phantom

    phantom Active Member

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    People just don't want to date autistic man, I am not sure what some dating agency/app is going to do about it. Why would a nt woman date us when they have plenty of normal man to choose from. I mean what would motivate a woman to sign up at such a dating app/agency, what's in it for them? 'm pretty sure they actually want to avoid most of as much as possible.
     
  3. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    I haven't had any issue with dating myself - in terms of finding people to date. I won't say I've had a smooth ride with relationships in the past, but that's just the way it is. You live and learn - and do your best to let go of previous hurts and resentments - otherwise it will cloud judgement and opinions going into future relationships. Personally I wouldn't want to restrict myself to solely focusing on an app intended for dating people who are also on the spectrum. It needn't be a requirement to date someone with such a similarity to your own condition.

    Variety is the spice of life - so why limit yourself to certain apps, or to the assumption that because you might have been blocked a few times, that you immediately jump to the overgeneralization that this will continue to happen.

    I look through profiles of people on dating sites and I find most completely uninteresting. Copy and paste personas, most with a lot of pictures and little to no text to describe themselves.

    You won't click with everyone, nor should you. Even if you get speaking to someone that you like, but they block you - what does that say? It doesn't mean you're broken or defective, it just means that the two of you weren't meant to be. Situations occur and people choose how to react - blocking someone is an overreaction, it's an act brought about by negative emotions and truth be told it hasn't solved anything. When people become used to blocking people - I think it makes them increasingly brittle to differences of opinion. Would you really want to date someone who would crack or lose it when you disagreed with them? Who got all riled up because you didn't agree with them? Screw that.

    The issue with chatting online is that people can be a lot more confident, rude or just jump straight for the block button when they start to feel uncomfortable.

    If dating is something you wish to pursue, then invest more time in it. But have faith in yourself - because if you continue to attempt dating with this pre-conceived (and false) notion that you're going to get blocked, upset or disappoint people, then you aren't going to portray yourself in a good light. Speaking of such portrayals - dating often seems like people are portraying a 'display model' of themselves - projecting their good sides, or even lying about their weaknesses because they want to get with the person they're attracted to. Some will rush into relationships too, but this is also a bad idea. Take time to get to know someone fully - there's no issue with waiting. It certainly beats following that rush of liking someone and it leading you into a relationship with an incompatible person. Because once the dreamy feelings of liking someone fades, and you're meeting with them regularly and realising they're actually not a good fit - then what? Patience helps with dating. Sharing your life with someone isn't trivial and is no small feat.

    That motto that "there's someone out there for everyone" is true - but I don't think it should be limited to just saying someone especially when you consider how many people there are in the world.

    Again, if it's something you desire - persist and don't give up, or give into negativity. Just chalk it up to experience, move on, and remind yourself that you will find someone when the time is right. Now, that might sound incredibly vague, or even overly optimistic and simplistic. But I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and when you're truly ready - you will meet the right person. You could argue that there's no proof, or that is sounds like new age nonsense. But I would say this - wouldn't you rather experience life, with a feeling that things are happening for a reason? I find it leads to more introspection, and a greater appreciation for life. Even during difficult moments, you can turn these negative feelings into positive ones - if you accept that both positive and negative feelings are equally as valid. You just have to remember that dwelling on negativity will often create more of the same.

    Try not to feel too disheartened - dating apps are full of people who've probably dated before, and their previous relationships didn't work. But look at all the names and faces - they're not giving up when things didn't work out. Human tenacity is a wonderful thing - don't give too much credence to your negative assumptions.

    Good luck.

    Ed
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2021
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  4. Ronald Zeeman

    Ronald Zeeman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Trying to hard , wil make you your own worst enemy.
     
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  5. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    ^ If that were the case - nobody would succeed in life.

    Time, effort and a positive outlook will yield good results in life. But if you're approaching dating assuming it'll make you happy - it would seem to suggest you're not happy in yourself to begin with. In such cases, dating might help to a degree, but it won't fix deeper rooted issues that are causing unhappiness.

    Ed
     
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  6. VernalSole1355

    VernalSole1355 Active Member

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    I forget where it was that I saw it, I think it was on here on another post, so I'll paraphrase it because I can't remember the exact wording, lol.

    You only find love when you stop looking for it. - Credit to whoever brought this up first.
     
  7. rse92

    rse92 New Member

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    You can begin by doing the things that make you more attractive to the opposite irrespective of whether or not you are neurotypical. I can only speak from the male perspective, but any man should

    Get fit.

    Lose weight.

    Be well groomed and dress appropriately.

    Be securely employed, able to pay your own way and with minimal debt and maximum savings.

    Live on your own if at all possible.

    Honestly, those are good objectives for women as well as men.

    If woman view you as eligible, you will meet woman. Then you might find it is easier to speak with women.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1