Autism and impatience

[Mister Anonymity]

Hello guys,

Are autistic people known for their lack of patience? I have a routine, and when it's disrupted, I start to break down emotionally. I go through hypothetical situations in my mind about what to do. Then when I'm having my nervous breakdown, I seek relief from my family. I notice that I have a problem where if I can't get anything done, then my progress has been stunted or suppressed despite my manual attempts at labor get through these periods of momentary failure. I notice that I often look at other people's progress, and I end up comparing myself to those people because they are out of school and nurturing their fledgling careers as they see fit. The problem is that I've come a long way. I've completed my high school and elementary school years quite successful. I've achieved a steady high 80s and 90s grade average in university, and I'm transitioning into my fourth year of school. However, I want to be done university so I can nurture a successful writing career. However, when plans fall through, I get upset emotionally and I start to deteriorate in front of my family. What's wrong with me? Is this type of patience common with autistic people?

Please feel free to share your experiences. What are some ways to spend our time in this hectic COVID 19 world without compromising ourselves financially? I mean, come on, I can't even go to see a film. All of my plans at alleviating my boredom have failed miserably.

How are autistic people dealing with that? Please share your stories.

 

[Wolfsage]

Writing career. Books or journalism?
Life teaches you patience through impatience.

 

[Mister Anonymity]

Writing career. Books or journalism?
Life teaches you patience through impatience.

Definitely books. Journalism is a bit of a hassle considering I have to speak to people. I agree. We learn gradually to be patient by confronting our moments of impatience and rectifying our mistake.

 

[Thinx]

I am fairly patient. I think female socialisation does help with that, where girls are expected more to facilitate, listen and accommodate others. However I was always fairly laid back. I do tend to take longer than average to complete tasks, but that's OK if you get there in the end, especially for achieving educational goals.

It sounds like you are doing well, maybe compare yourself to the much higher percentage of people who are not achieving at your level, neurotypical or neurodiverse. Are you studying writing?

 

[Mister Anonymity]

I am fairly patient. I think female socialisation does help with that, where girls are expected more to facilitate, listen and accommodate others. However I was always fairly laid back. I do tend to take longer than average to complete tasks, but that's OK if you get there in the end, especially for achieving educational goals.

It sounds like you are doing well, maybe compare yourself to the much higher percentage of people who are not achieving at your level, neurotypical or neurodiverse. Are you studying writing?

I mean, it's all we do. I study essay writing, which is a large portion of my English program. I've yet to see a course where we study short story writing or creative writing.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

In my experience with the public, telling someone to be patient is about as effective as telling them to calm down,...it usually has the opposite effect.

Now, within the context of autism,...especially if there is a special interest involved,...like say, collecting things,...and the mind is racing and hyperfocused, and there is your collectable up for sale on the internet,...God help us. I literally had this conversation with my wife last night,..."No more orchids!" she said,..."We don't have room!" "You don't need it!" My impatient brain is like, "So I'm going to order these two orchids tomorrow, and I will deal with her later." HORRIBLE.

When I was in school, my early days at the university, I really struggled with not being able to focus, especially with all the general education courses that they make you take before you even get into the required courses for your major. I just felt like I was going through the motions and the end goal was so far out on the horizon I couldn't see it. My natural impatient instinct was "I just want to get a job, make some money, and start my life." I actually did that. I got married, bought a little house, a cheap little car, worked at an entry-level job at the hospital,...and put my wife through nursing school. Later, when I was a bit more motivated,...went back and finished up.

Life has taught me that you need to set some goals for yourself,...but do it in small bites. If you just say to yourself, "I am going to write for the New York Times", you are likely going to fail unless you break down the process into smaller, more achievable goals along the road to success. It could be weight loss,..."I am going to loose 50lbs", but you don't do this in a week, or a month,...you do it 2lbs here, 4lbs there, and so on,...until you ultimately reach that goal. Is it likely you are going to have set backs or life circumstances get you "off the rails" for a while? Absolutely. Happens all the time. You should expect it. Stay focused and have a "plan B" and "plan C" in place,...as sometimes the road to success will not be a straight line, but rather it will have detours and you have to take those alternate routes to get back on that road.

 

[VernalSole1355]

I can tell you that I am, at times, impatient. But they may be due to the fact that my father is literally the same way instead of my Autism. Then again, my Autism may contribute to that. I can tell you that I struggled (and still do somewhat) to wait in long lines like at a Disney park. I would have a meltdown for like 45 minutes straight. Not kidding. (Thank God for Fast Passes)

So I wouldn't necessarily say that Autism causes you to be impatient, but yes, it may very well be a contributing factor to make you look impatient due to the effects it may have on one person.

 

[Judge]

Frankly I think of impatience not in terms of neurology, but more a matter of culture and commerce. That present society is being enabled by businesses reflecting goods and services who sell convenience to the public much like pushers sell heroin to a select clientele.

With the result being a new generation of consumers who are hopelessly hooked on convenience of any kind. Reducing their overall patience to a minimum, because they assume they can find an app or device to compensate.

I'm constantly laughing at how impatient my NT cousin is over well...just about everything. Yet she's just a bit younger then I am.

 

[ForestGumpett]

No patience at all. I try not to be rude about it, but gosh move or I’ll just have to move you out of my way causes...well, cause your in the way lol.

Getting organized or getting anything done is getting worse. Just cleaning the bath I get hi-jacked by other stuff and never make it then beat myself up about it. Feel like I’m about to lose it over the mess with moving now and boxe everywhere half packed.

My husband may be on the spectrum, he’s taken the test and did score more NT than I did so the mess is doubling up.

We’re open to suggestions on how to get this I believe y’all are calling it executive function thing done.

The function is not happening, and I’m the one with no patients... what gives?

 

[Metalhead]

I want to have patience, and I want to have patience RIGHT NOW!

 

[GadAbout]

Not the main topic of this thread, but ... a writer? Just be aware that you may have long periods when nothing you write sells... and also spells when you just can't perform (writer's block). You will need not only patience, but also ability to handle rejection. Think about that a while.

 

[watersprite]

Wish I could help.

I haven’t found any type of patience, not neurologically, not from family environment, not when I (finally) got my undergrad degree, & I’ve not picked any up in the school of hard knocks. If anything, I’m less patient now than ever.

Best I can say about it is, in this respect anyhow, don’t be like me.

 

[mylife2023]

In my experience with the public, telling someone to be patient is about as effective as telling them to calm down,...it usually has the opposite effect.

Now, within the context of autism,...especially if there is a special interest involved,...like say, collecting things,...and the mind is racing and hyperfocused, and there is your collectable up for sale on the internet,...God help us. I literally had this conversation with my wife last night,..."No more orchids!" she said,..."We don't have room!" "You don't need it!" My impatient brain is like, "So I'm going to order these two orchids tomorrow, and I will deal with her later." HORRIBLE.

When I was in school, my early days at the university, I really struggled with not being able to focus, especially with all the general education courses that they make you take before you even get into the required courses for your major. I just felt like I was going through the motions and the end goal was so far out on the horizon I couldn't see it. My natural impatient instinct was "I just want to get a job, make some money, and start my life." I actually did that. I got married, bought a little house, a cheap little car, worked at an entry-level job at the hospital,...and put my wife through nursing school. Later, when I was a bit more motivated,...went back and finished up.

Life has taught me that you need to set some goals for yourself,...but do it in small bites. If you just say to yourself, "I am going to write for the New York Times", you are likely going to fail unless you break down the process into smaller, more achievable goals along the road to success. It could be weight loss,..."I am going to loose 50lbs", but you don't do this in a week, or a month,...you do it 2lbs here, 4lbs there, and so on,...until you ultimately reach that goal. Is it likely you are going to have set backs or life circumstances get you "off the rails" for a while? Absolutely. Happens all the time. You should expect it. Stay focused and have a "plan B" and "plan C" in place,...as sometimes the road to success will not be a straight line, but rather it will have detours and you have to take those alternate routes to get back on that road.

I am new to this forum and I read this post about the orchids and I have laughed so hard I'm crying. You should really do stand up! I can't stop laughing. Your impatient brain is hilariouis!

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I am the opposite. I am very patient, both when it comes to long term goals (I staid in college for an extra semester because I could), but especially short term. I can wait around for hours if it serves some purpose and have a very high frustration threshold. I'm among the most patient people I know, and often don't understand why people are in such a rush when it won't actually help them reach their goal earlier. However, I still dislike it when people (and especially myself) are late, since I would plan my time out differently if I didn't have that uncertainty.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Hello guys,

Are autistic people known for their lack of patience? I have a routine, and when it's disrupted, I start to break down emotionally. I go through hypothetical situations in my mind about what to do. Then when I'm having my nervous breakdown, I seek relief from my family. I notice that I have a problem where if I can't get anything done, then my progress has been stunted or suppressed despite my manual attempts at labor get through these periods of momentary failure. I notice that I often look at other people's progress, and I end up comparing myself to those people because they are out of school and nurturing their fledgling careers as they see fit. The problem is that I've come a long way. I've completed my high school and elementary school years quite successful. I've achieved a steady high 80s and 90s grade average in university, and I'm transitioning into my fourth year of school. However, I want to be done university so I can nurture a successful writing career. However, when plans fall through, I get upset emotionally and I start to deteriorate in front of my family. What's wrong with me? Is this type of patience common with autistic people?

Please feel free to share your experiences. What are some ways to spend our time in this hectic COVID 19 world without compromising ourselves financially? I mean, come on, I can't even go to see a film. All of my plans at alleviating my boredom have failed miserably.

How are autistic people dealing with that? Please share your stories.

I deal very much with impatience a lot. It's really difficult to describe. It's like patience, spoons, and anticipation really take a drain on my personality and overall mental batteries. I run out of patience when I'm hungry, or after I've eaten, or when I'm in a rush to get to work and there's traffic. At times, my partner (who has ADHD) is involved in their phone and I'll ask them a question, but their ears are turned off. Not their fault; just ADHD. Regardless, I'll try my best to not get impatient, but...

 

[Aspychata]

I am mostly patient which drives others batty if they are doing their darnest to manipulate me. But minus food or motivation can tumble me a tad, not a tantrum, but a little off focus. I think we become quite intent in finishing whatever our goals are even if it's just maintaining our day to day, so huge amounts of patience is needed because others have reported that a lot of people don't quickly think thru and get the logic of getting to the desired end with the least amount of hassle as those on the spectrum.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Well, talking about autism is not impatience, its the emotional aspect of our black and white thinking. Very much like kids.

NT adults can get anoyed slowly, they can like, dislike, tolerate, being collegues, being friends, being best friends, being mates, hate.... We are like kids. We love or hate. Period. We like or dislike. Period.

So we have problems having two or more emotions at the same time or doing a smooth transition between emotions. We switch. Like kids.

We can be patient, way more patient (focused) than NT, but we cant be a "bit anoyed". We are anoyed or not.

That its percieved as impulsivity. So our emotions go high and down faster than NT brains, that also means that when something is solved, IT IS SOLVED. While NT need more time to fully recover.

So thats it.