Autism and college

[Liamwilo]

so I really want to go to college but my autism holds me back, I panic everywhere I go and I struggle to leave the house, I don’t really know how well I’d do at college, I also don’t have any friends or that so theirs that, I just don’t know what to do anymore

 

[Jojo_LB]

Hi Liamwilo.

Unfortunately, I don't have very good advice for you. What I can say though, is that it's actually good that you're aware of the fact that you'll likely face difficulties at college before you jump in almost totally unprepared.

There are some folks here (myself included) who are in college now, or have finished. Some have advanced degrees too (masters, PhD). So I can share some of my experiences as a struggling college student with you.

I wish I knew much earlier on in life that I am autistic.

I am older than you are, so I have a lot of experience (mostly painful) as a college student with autism. I am not suggesting it will be painful for you too. It was so for me because I had no idea I am autistic.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD just a couple months ago.

It has taken me 18 years to finish college. I graduate this month.

I wouldn't wish what happened to me on you, or anyone else.

I accept who I am of course, but the last 2-3 years were extremely confusing, painful, frustrating, depressing. I'd been in a constant state of anxiety. It got to the point I was getting a lot of physical ailments and just feeling overall unwell. I'm only in my 30's I shouldn't have been getting physically unwell as frequently as I was, especially since my family health history is pretty good, and all my doctors over the last few years have seen no major issues in anything in me (like blood pressure, all my blood tests come out perfect, I've got low cholesterol, I'm not diabetic, etc etc etc you get the picture. I'm healthy lol)

I burned out multiple times over this period. This most recent one, through which I'm still struggling, I was hit particularly hard, and I pretty much returned to exhibiting my much more strong and noticeable autistic traits from childhood. It's debilitating now.

It's like my brain has locked into this mode where it just doesn't even consider doing anything anymore but what is safe, familiar, and comfortable only.

I am not familiar with this strange rigidity. It was always there. But it is unfamiliar nonetheless, because I did everything I could to mask everything and now I am paying the price.

This rigidity is not altogether terrible; it is the natural state of my brain anyway. But the fact it just happened unexpectedly, and at the most inopportune time (the very last 2-3 semesters of college!), well... needless to say, I am in a very weird place. Most days I don't know what to really do with myself.

On top of all this, I have a child with ADHD. And she's in the middle of puberty. *sigh*

I wish you the very best in trying to figure out what is right for you. You are young, and you know you are autistic and you know that you will struggle because education systems really suck and are not good for autistic people.

But you know, so you can prepare. And you can seek advice and support from the right folks instead of jumping in half blind, like I did.

 

[Bolletje]

Have you ever had treatment for that panic? I have ASD but I also have a panic disorder which made attending university tricky, but not impossible. I made it through university and med school with a lot of ups and downs, being diagnosed with autism somewhere towards the end.
I'm currently being treated for my panic disorder (which was diagnosed after I graduated) because I don't want my world to be as small as the panic makes it. If you haven't already, I would suggest looking into treatment for that as well. It could be helpful to you.

 

[Fino]

Community college!

Online college!

Medication coll--I mean, medication!

I didn't have any friends when I started college. What's college got to do with friends!? I thought friends were a primary school sort of interest.

College originated as a place for education. I don't know if a thing's origin is necessarily relevant to it now, but I still like to think of college in that way.

 

[H-Kath]

o I really want to go to college but my autism holds me back, I panic everywhere I go and I struggle to leave the house, I don’t really know how well I’d do at college, I also don’t have any friends or that so theirs that, I just don’t know what to do anymore

If you want to go, keep in mind that there are accommodations. I get twice as long for my tests and the ability to take them in the same place each time if I want to because of my GAD diagnosis. There's a lot more that can be done to accommodate if you need it.

I have my route to and from planned out knowing where a swing is and where all of the restrooms are. When we have a break I'm on my feet whether or not I'm panicking. If I am, or I feel I'm approaching my limit I'll go rock in one of the stalls. (It works better than rescue meds for me.) I do better if I've used the swing for a few minutes before class. I'm also on an antidepressant and beta blocker. My point here isn't to tell you to do exactly what I do. It's to point out that you might need to assess what you need to make college accessible and plan some strategies to manage the anxiety.

Edit: A lighter credit load counting as full-time status is another accommodation I know people are given.

 

[tducey]

I went to college and did fine. If I was you I'd talk with a career counselor to discuss both your options and any concerns you may have. Good luck to you.