I've never needed many friends. In fact just one will usually do. It has to be the right one though, and if it is, no one else is necessary. That's usually how it's worked for me.
For the last few years I've had nobody in my life, not physically anyway. Nobody I spend time with. And yet while there are times when I suppose I could say I miss the company of a friend, I have certainly become used to being on my own.
I'm not alone as I live in a shared house, and aside from hearing their presence, or occasionally seeing them in the kitchen, they don't exist for me. I quite like being around people I don't have to be friends with. That is new for me. I don't know much about my housemates. It creates the feeling of solitude I seem to need.
I have a need to be left alone, which explains why I never attempt to engage. Rather than seek out friendship, I would prefer to attract it, and I can only do that if I’m in an attractive state, first. Otherwise I simply won't attract someone, or worse, I’ll attract the wrong someone.
This is not a proactive intention on my part, only a recognition of a possibility. The fact is that I do seem to work best alone, and in the past, when I've felt loneliness, I’ve actively intended things to change. And they have, but not always in ways I was expecting them to. Not in ways that actually benefited me.
I believe no experience is ever wasted. There is something to gain from anything that takes place. But at some point I'm hoping to be attractive again. Not in an ‘active intention from someone else’ kind of way, but the result of our vibrations attracting each other to each other in that magical way it can.
I certainly don't put myself out there. I'm not trying to make something happen. So there's no telling when or if it will occur. And I have to be okay with that. In fact I have to let go of the whole idea really. I can't attract something while at the same time trying to make it happen. I can only attract something I'm ready to experience.
For the last few years I've had nobody in my life, not physically anyway. Nobody I spend time with. And yet while there are times when I suppose I could say I miss the company of a friend, I have certainly become used to being on my own.
I'm not alone as I live in a shared house, and aside from hearing their presence, or occasionally seeing them in the kitchen, they don't exist for me. I quite like being around people I don't have to be friends with. That is new for me. I don't know much about my housemates. It creates the feeling of solitude I seem to need.
I have a need to be left alone, which explains why I never attempt to engage. Rather than seek out friendship, I would prefer to attract it, and I can only do that if I’m in an attractive state, first. Otherwise I simply won't attract someone, or worse, I’ll attract the wrong someone.
This is not a proactive intention on my part, only a recognition of a possibility. The fact is that I do seem to work best alone, and in the past, when I've felt loneliness, I’ve actively intended things to change. And they have, but not always in ways I was expecting them to. Not in ways that actually benefited me.
I believe no experience is ever wasted. There is something to gain from anything that takes place. But at some point I'm hoping to be attractive again. Not in an ‘active intention from someone else’ kind of way, but the result of our vibrations attracting each other to each other in that magical way it can.
I certainly don't put myself out there. I'm not trying to make something happen. So there's no telling when or if it will occur. And I have to be okay with that. In fact I have to let go of the whole idea really. I can't attract something while at the same time trying to make it happen. I can only attract something I'm ready to experience.
