1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Assumptions about autistic people

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Mia, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,771
    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Karma:
    +13,602
    Other people that I encounter have preconceived ideas about autism, that are not based in reality. They often react to our behavior or responses in interactions with others, and assume things that are not exactly accurate.

    #1.
    Don't assume I'm not listening because I'm not looking directly at you.
    The fact that I don't always maintain eye contact doesn't mean I'm not paying attention or ignoring you. I hear most things people say, and can probably recite them back to you verbatim.

    See if you can add anything people!



    The idea came from this article: https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/8-things-you-should-never-assume-about-autism
     
    • Like Like x 9
    • Agree Agree x 3
  2. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,400
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,915
    My daughter had to do an exercise like this for one of her classes - write something in the form "Just because I'm X, it doesn't mean that Y." E.g.: She wrote, "Just because I like Hamilton, it doesn't mean I squeal every time I hear a reference to one of the songs. But I do." The "But I do." was an optional twist. She and her classmates came up with some really interesting ones.

    Mine:
    Just because I'm autistic, don't assume that I have a single obsessive interest and ignore everything else (I have multiple obsessive interests! ;))

    Just because I'm autistic, don't assume I'm exactly like that other autistic person you met. (Because I actually can't stand a few of them. Sorry. Actually, add: Just because I'm autistic don't assume that I automatically like and get along with all other autistic people.)

    Just because I'm autistic, don't assume I don't care about the people around me. (sometimes I get mentally and emotionally drained because I'm taking on the emotions of people I care about)
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  3. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,400
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,915
    I like that the article you linked covered the savant aspect. I've mentioned it in a few other discussions on this forum, but here goes again:

    When I was trying to figure out what was up with myself (anxiety, emotional issues atypical of someone my age, etc.), I fell for the "artistic autistics" stereotype. I had seen quite a few articles about autistic people with incredible visual and artistic talents and thought, "Well, it's not autism, because I don't have those kinds of art skills."

    For me, this just highlights the need to continually break down the stereotypes.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  4. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,689
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +9,939
    Autism does not equal mental incompetence.
     
    • Agree Agree x 12
    • Like Like x 3
  5. HidinginPlainSight

    HidinginPlainSight Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    182
    Joined:
    May 14, 2018
    Karma:
    +323
    Being autistic doesn't make the phone book preferred reading material. Or make you care about how many yellow cars you saw in a row one morning.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 3
  6. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,822
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +7,337
    Being autistic doesn’t make me good at math.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,513
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Karma:
    +6,375
    Being autistic doesn't mean that I can't talk to people. However, it does mean that most people do not want to hear what I want to talk about.
     
    • Like Like x 9
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. Vinca

    Vinca Speaking through Pictures V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,053
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2014
    Karma:
    +7,610
    Being autistic doesn't mean I am an "animal whisperer".
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    327
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Karma:
    +754
    Being autistic does not mean that I do not feel emotional pain.

    Being autistic does not give others the right to assume I'm the same as any other autistic person they know/have met.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 3
    • Winner Winner x 2
  10. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

    Messages:
    799
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,320
    I may not have "savant syndrome" or whatever, but I've been told for years that I'm very talented.
    However, I used to also be told that I would one day use my talent to become successful and had a bright future ahead of me.:disappointed:
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  11. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,451
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +6,289
    It goes both ways. We can be just as guilty of making assumptions about non-autistic people as they are about us.

    I've been on the receiving end of so many:
    My beautiful wife is not my carer.
    I can't count toothpicks in an instant.
    I don't live off benefits/welfare.
    I understand everything that's said to me, even if the emotional content can be a bit slow to register.
    I wouldn't like to sit down and play with my phone while the grown ups talk...
    I don't need an explicit set of instructions for everything.
    I am capable of seeing "grey areas"

    There's too many to list. We do it too.
    We assume hostility often.
    We expect to be patronised.
    We assume that undiagnosed parents of autistic kids are NT themselves.

    Assumptions can be harmful on both sides.
     
    • Like Like x 9
    • Agree Agree x 2
  12. SolarPoweredNightOwl

    SolarPoweredNightOwl Walking contradiction

    Messages:
    23
    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Karma:
    +85
    Reading stuff like this makes me think I should just stay incognito and not seek out formal diagnosis. People wear out my ears with too much nonsense as it is.

    Thanks @Autistamatic for reminding us to check ourselves.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta New Member

    Messages:
    22
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2019
    Karma:
    +40
    I very rarely tell anyone I’m autistic. Autism is a useless term because there are so many symptoms. It’s like saying you just adopted a pet animal. “Animal” means everything and nothing since there are millions of different species on the planet. People will assume you got a cat or dog, though, not a kambo frog or spider monkey. Unless someone close to you is autistic, your knowledge of the disorder will understandably be limited to stereotypes and assumptions based on the most visible or “extreme” symptoms.

    And anyway, I’d sooner tell someone what color my panties are than reveal that I’m autistic. Both are rather private.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 2
  14. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta New Member

    Messages:
    22
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2019
    Karma:
    +40
    You know what, a friend of mine just returned from Japan and reported that when people speak to each other there, they don’t look up from their phones. So perhaps we should all pack it up and emigrate to the land of the rising sun. No eye contact required there.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  15. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

    Messages:
    799
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,320
    ^ That's what I thought after seeing a video where a Japanese student was comparing Canada to their own country. Only they talked about how much more litter there is on the ground and other things that makes me realize how much it stinks living here.:( But on the other hand, in the part of Canada I live in, I don't usually have to worry about tsunamis or earthquakes or nuclear accidents or even malaria.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  16. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,062
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,960
    I haven't told enough people to experience these, but I'm sorry other people have! The few people I've told claimed and showed no change in perception or behavior, except possibly to be kinder!
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  17. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,360
    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Karma:
    +4,126
    I don't tell anyone unless it is necessary.
    Therapists, doctors and the person I live with.
    I didn't want to tell the person I live with, but, he kept talking about things I did differently to
    most people he had known. Many times it would be something that he would get angry over.
    So it was make it or break it time and I told him.
    Our communications became better after that.
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. Rexi

    Rexi owo uwu owo Weird&Unusual Atheist Science=<3

    Messages:
    529
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2017
    Karma:
    +594
    Your beautiful wife is also smart!
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  19. shysnail

    shysnail Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    170
    Joined:
    May 14, 2019
    Karma:
    +561
    Don't assume that pushing me into doing something I can't do will help me improve at it. I'll still find it just as hard, except now I also dislike you.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Winner Winner x 1
  20. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,896
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +5,089
    Don't assume that when I choose to stay quiet my head is blank and quiet also.

    Still waters run deep.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
    • Like Like x 1