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Assumptions about autistic people

M

Mia

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Other people that I encounter have preconceived ideas about autism, that are not based in reality. They often react to our behavior or responses in interactions with others, and assume things that are not exactly accurate.

#1.
Don't assume I'm not listening because I'm not looking directly at you.
The fact that I don't always maintain eye contact doesn't mean I'm not paying attention or ignoring you. I hear most things people say, and can probably recite them back to you verbatim.

See if you can add anything people!


The idea came from this article: https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/8-things-you-should-never-assume-about-autism
 
My daughter had to do an exercise like this for one of her classes - write something in the form "Just because I'm X, it doesn't mean that Y." E.g.: She wrote, "Just because I like Hamilton, it doesn't mean I squeal every time I hear a reference to one of the songs. But I do." The "But I do." was an optional twist. She and her classmates came up with some really interesting ones.

Mine:
Just because I'm autistic, don't assume that I have a single obsessive interest and ignore everything else (I have multiple obsessive interests! ;))

Just because I'm autistic, don't assume I'm exactly like that other autistic person you met. (Because I actually can't stand a few of them. Sorry. Actually, add: Just because I'm autistic don't assume that I automatically like and get along with all other autistic people.)

Just because I'm autistic, don't assume I don't care about the people around me. (sometimes I get mentally and emotionally drained because I'm taking on the emotions of people I care about)
 
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I like that the article you linked covered the savant aspect. I've mentioned it in a few other discussions on this forum, but here goes again:

When I was trying to figure out what was up with myself (anxiety, emotional issues atypical of someone my age, etc.), I fell for the "artistic autistics" stereotype. I had seen quite a few articles about autistic people with incredible visual and artistic talents and thought, "Well, it's not autism, because I don't have those kinds of art skills."

For me, this just highlights the need to continually break down the stereotypes.
 
Being autistic doesn't mean that I can't talk to people. However, it does mean that most people do not want to hear what I want to talk about.
 
Being autistic does not mean that I do not feel emotional pain.

Being autistic does not give others the right to assume I'm the same as any other autistic person they know/have met.
 
I may not have "savant syndrome" or whatever, but I've been told for years that I'm very talented.
However, I used to also be told that I would one day use my talent to become successful and had a bright future ahead of me.:disappointed:
 
It goes both ways. We can be just as guilty of making assumptions about non-autistic people as they are about us.

I've been on the receiving end of so many:
My beautiful wife is not my carer.
I can't count toothpicks in an instant.
I don't live off benefits/welfare.
I understand everything that's said to me, even if the emotional content can be a bit slow to register.
I wouldn't like to sit down and play with my phone while the grown ups talk...
I don't need an explicit set of instructions for everything.
I am capable of seeing "grey areas"

There's too many to list. We do it too.
We assume hostility often.
We expect to be patronised.
We assume that undiagnosed parents of autistic kids are NT themselves.

Assumptions can be harmful on both sides.
 
I very rarely tell anyone I’m autistic. Autism is a useless term because there are so many symptoms. It’s like saying you just adopted a pet animal. “Animal” means everything and nothing since there are millions of different species on the planet. People will assume you got a cat or dog, though, not a kambo frog or spider monkey. Unless someone close to you is autistic, your knowledge of the disorder will understandably be limited to stereotypes and assumptions based on the most visible or “extreme” symptoms.

And anyway, I’d sooner tell someone what color my panties are than reveal that I’m autistic. Both are rather private.
 
You know what, a friend of mine just returned from Japan and reported that when people speak to each other there, they don’t look up from their phones. So perhaps we should all pack it up and emigrate to the land of the rising sun. No eye contact required there.
 
^ That's what I thought after seeing a video where a Japanese student was comparing Canada to their own country. Only they talked about how much more litter there is on the ground and other things that makes me realize how much it stinks living here.:( But on the other hand, in the part of Canada I live in, I don't usually have to worry about tsunamis or earthquakes or nuclear accidents or even malaria.
 
I haven't told enough people to experience these, but I'm sorry other people have! The few people I've told claimed and showed no change in perception or behavior, except possibly to be kinder!
 
I don't tell anyone unless it is necessary.
Therapists, doctors and the person I live with.
I didn't want to tell the person I live with, but, he kept talking about things I did differently to
most people he had known. Many times it would be something that he would get angry over.
So it was make it or break it time and I told him.
Our communications became better after that.
 
Autistamatic said:
It goes both ways. We can be just as guilty of making assumptions about non-autistic people as they are about us.

I've been on the receiving end of so many:
My beautiful wife is not my carer.
I can't count toothpicks in an instant.
I don't live off benefits/welfare.
I understand everything that's said to me, even if the emotional content can be a bit slow to register.
I wouldn't like to sit down and play with my phone while the grown ups talk...
I don't need an explicit set of instructions for everything.
I am capable of seeing "grey areas"

There's too many to list. We do it too.
We assume hostility often.
We expect to be patronised.
We assume that undiagnosed parents of autistic kids are NT themselves.

Assumptions can be harmful on both sides.
Click to expand...

Your beautiful wife is also smart!
 
Don't assume that pushing me into doing something I can't do will help me improve at it. I'll still find it just as hard, except now I also dislike you.
 
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