Aspies, do you work?

[Katina12]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

 

[Streetwise]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

It depends on his qualifications a person who will help not hinder him
will they accomodate his needs

 

[Mia]

Hi Katina,

I've worked all my life. Retired at fifty-five. Best environment was when I had no boss directly working with me. When I ran my own business with a few other people, which was more of a cooperative. When I ran a bistro, and did everything, including the accounts. Favourite job was a summer working at a camp for children, introducing them to nature and sports. And another seasonal job where I did taxes during tax season for a company, but, I was on my own.

Most of the jobs that I liked were ones in which I was left alone to do my job. Not having to interact with people or be too social. Some of the jobs were front line customer interaction, like waitressing, selling, which I did because they were necessary and I had to make a living. Not something I would choose as an aspie now.

Think that if you consider his interests, it might be helpful in pointing the way towards a job.

 

[xudo]

I don't work. I have worked in the past. I had a brief stint in a cafe kitchen while doing my A-Levels which didn't last as they wanted me to go on the till. Anxiety at having to talk to people and dyscalculia meant I wasn't up for that. I worked as a cleaner at a leisure centre while in uni and while it was tiring, you were mostly just left to your own devices, and the hours were 7-11am so the rest of the day was free.

After uni I worked as an office junior. I only got the job because the solicitors office it was at, my Dad was previously a partner at. I loathed it. Far too much going on, way too many things to remember and so many things that weren't technically part of the job. People would be vague with instructions and imply things and I couldn't cope or keep up.

I left that job due to slipping a disc in my back (twice) and then finding out I also had a fracture to my spine. That was around 2009 and I haven't worked since. Technically I don't work because I'm still classed as unfit to work, because the DWP (department for work and pensions, they deal with this sort of stuff in the UK) have so many people to deal with, they haven't reassessed me since around 2013 (supposed to be every year).

In terms of supporting myself, I don't actually receive any out of work or disability benefits. I get housing benefit, which is very little because we have a low income. My husband receives disability because he's registered blind and gets some other ones too and he works part time.

The thought of working again terrifies me, and as much as most people think it's wrong for me to say, I actually don't want to work. I prefer to not leave the house, so not working is perfect. I realise that that's probably not healthy. I don't get bored not working, because I have stuff that needs doing around the house, and I have my sewing. I enjoy making hats and selling them at comic cons, but I can't go to them alone because it's too many people and noise and everything, so usually my sister is with me or my husband.

 

[clg114]

Hi Katina,

I've worked all my life. Retired at fifty-five. Best environment was when I had no boss directly working with me. When I ran my own business with a few other people. When I ran a bistro, and did everything, including the accounts. Ran an art studio for some time, selling art. Favourite job was a summer working at a camp for city children, introducing them to nature and sports. And another seasonal job where I did taxes during tax season for a company, but, I was on my own.

Most of the jobs that I liked were ones in which I was left alone to do my job. Not having to interact with people or be too social. Some of the jobs were front line customer interaction, like waitressing, selling, which I did because they were necessary and I had to make a living. Not something I would choose as an aspie now.

Think that if you consider his interests, it might be helpful in pointing the way towards a job.

Working alone is no doubt the best thing for a Aspie. I spent almost all of my working career working alone. I was lucky enough to also worked with my special interest. I think that most Aspies who do not work, could if they worked with those conditions.

 

[the_tortoise]

I am not an aspie in the sense of "Asperger's" (I am an autie, in that sense) but I don't know if that matters here or not....so I hope my answers are relevent to you and if they aren't that's okay.

-Do you work?

No. (Well, occasionally my family will hire me to do something for them instead of hiring a tradesperson or doing it themselves.... but I don't think that's the kind of work you meant.)

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out?

Have worked in the past.....many different jobs (actually a ridiculously large number of jobs, given the small number of years I worked).

None of them worked out (one could have....if circumstances outside the job had been different...I still feel heartbroken/devastated thinking about it and it's been like 9 years).

How do you support yourself otherwise?

I receive disability benefits.

Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?

If I had someone else who looked after cleaning, cooking/food-making, budgeting, errands, paying bills, helping me to remember stuff and planning/scheduling most things then I could work full-time at a job that matched my skillset and where my language and executive functioning difficulties were understood so they didn't cause any serious, ongoing problems (totally possible -- at the job that almost worked out, the only thing that wasn't understood and accomodated was the language/communication stuff, and that would have been accomodated if anybody could have labelled and explained it)....

Since that kind of support with daily life is not available to me** (not even partly), looking after myself and my cat is my full-time job. Keeping up with the day to day things leaves me very little free time.

When I do have spare time (or am in a stuck place, keeping up with nothing as the pile of tasks grows larger, or have deliberately decided to take not-free time and use it as if it is free-time so I don't go insane from never having any down-time -- or so I don't get sick from sacrificing sleep for downtime) it is not often that I am bored. There are lots of things I can/could do -- play with my cat, draw, paint, knit, bake, build things, read, play music, learn a new instrument, do puzzles, watch films/TV, play computer/video games, talk to people on here or offline....the list could go on.

I would like to work. I don't like being financially dependent on anyone and I would like to have a bit more income than I do now. I hope that someday I can work part-time, even though I can't right now.

**I would have a very hard time accepting that kind of support even if it were available.... it would be very hard to give up control and be dependent on others for so many things, it would require extending far more trust than I'm comfortable with, I'd have to deal with the fear of other people treating me weird because of the stigma around needing supports and I would have to come to terms with losing the satisfaction of doing those things for myself . (Although I suppose the satisfaction I got from my work and financial independence would be helpful with that.)

 

[Maiki]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

Hi there!

I do work. I have struggled with anxiety all my life, and depression as an adult, but have only recently discovered that I--in fact--have a high functioning autism spectrum disorder. The anxiety (and various other unpleasant symptoms) are part and parcel of making my way in the 'NT realm'. I want to be upfront about the fact that I am what many might call an 'invisible Aspie'. I'm female, 44 yo, married and have 3 children. I have a professional job in Health Care. I blend in, but expend an enormous amount of effort and energy to do so. My husband is my best friend and I have a very quiet social life. I feel like I get more than enough interaction with others at work, kids' schools and activities, etc.

I have no option but to work, since I have 3 kids. If I stay at home, I do the work of care giving and household management. In the paid workplace, there is actually LESS work for me to do (and I get a paycheck for my efforts). I must work a certain # of hours yearly to maintain my license to practice.

I have (for years at a time) worked full time, but it was pretty harrowing. Part-time (~ 20 hrs/ week) is about right for this point in my life. I enjoy working less popular shifts, so that I can 'run my own show'. I flourish working autonomously. While I find meetings/ teamwork difficult and often frustrating, I am in my element working 1 on 1 with patients. I can focus entirely on that person and provide them with help and true, active listening. I 'hyper-focus' on 1 person at a time. It feeds a need that I have to connect, and does not leave me depleted. I could do that mindful work all day long, but-legally/logistically-must do many other things while at work--namely talking to other professionals, documenting, scheduling, etc. It's that stuff that takes it out of me.

My work environment is highly structured. Expectations are clear. There are protocols and procedures. I can wear hospital scrubs (comfy, cotton, never have to figure out what to wear). That's all good stuff. I have set hours, and when I go home, I leave my work AT work.

Long story short--I never thought I had any choice but to work for pay. I married for love-- i.e. with open eyes to the fact that my husband would not be able to provide all the income required for the life I'd want! For 20+ years as a qualified professional, I did not have a 'diagnosis' that would preclude working--and I was fortunate enough to be ABLE to do so. It's not been easy, but for me, it's been an important part of my identity. We're all unique!

 

[Suzanne]

Very haphazed "career". My favourite I discovered, was cleaning holiday homes and professional ironing.

Now, of course, because I am unable to reach the goal, I would love to be a psychologist, or a book keeper.

 

[InfinityRose]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

Technically, yes. I'm on work study right now so it's only a few hours a week, but I'm attending classes for school as well. However, I'm currently looking for another job, because the one I have is a terrible fit. I originally applied because I didn't quite understand the expectations involved (they were very vague in the job description) until I started working there. Turns out, it's way more physical then I expected. It involves lifting and carrying packages I'm barely strong enough to pick up, a lot of walking, and having a good sense of direction, which I don't have. It's only been my first week and my arms and legs are covered in bruises, and I'm already pretty stressed out.

Regarding your boyfriend, I think it's important to encourage him, but don't pressure or shame him into doing something he isn't ready for. Let him know that you believe in him and that's he's capable of more than he thinks he is, but that you'll love him no matter what he decides. Having a strong emotional support system is important for everyone, but it's vital for aspies, especially if we're already insecure. Overall, I don't think wanting him to work 10-15 hours a week is unreasonable, but it's important that it's the right kind of job for him. If it's a bad fit, he's going to be miserable.

 

[Crossbreed]

So many of us are capable of doing full-time work. Since the job market is a Buyer's market, we often get sidelined by our quirky presentation and our awkwardness when participating in group dynamics. Basically, employers can afford to be more picky, and they are.

When it was a Seller's market economy, the right skill sets could trump those two deficits. I was a patented systems analyst, but now I am semi-retired, delivering free papers 2 days/week, being a caregiver for my LFA daughter and, unofficially, for my wife.

I have been doing my newspaper route for 11 years, now. It is the longest that I have held onto any job (probably due to the absence of a boss, as others have pointed out).

 

[wight]

Yes, I work. Full-time. Currently in a job that involves a lot of math, statistics, data analysis, pattern recognition. Before that I spent 21 years in the military, in a job where I worked alone most of the time.

Some times a 40 hours week is exhausting, some times I can do that easily. Much more than 40 is too much. Most of my weekends and after work hours are filled with the daily activities of life. Mow the lawn, repairs to cars or the house, laundry, cleaning, etc.

From the outside, I expect I look like everyone else (job, wife, house, blah blah). You can't see the eccentricities, exhaustion, coping mechanisms, etc. until you get up close.

 

[WereBear]

I think the best part time jobs for any of us on the spectrum are ones that don't wear us out. At my worst-feeling, pre-realization I was ND, I would come home from my full time job barely able to feed myself, much less handle anything about the house. We relied on takeout, didn't vacuum or dust much, spent a lot of time in bed (my husband has a chronic illness which drains his energy in the best of times.) It was terrible.

What we gain in money we lose in energy.

Now, with my job adjusted to not drain my tank past empty, things are so much better.

If the boyfriend has any interests that could be sold online, he could work more hours perfectly happily that way.

 

[fairy_girl]

I did try babysitting but honestly it was very boring and I really saw no point in it since the child really didn't have that much to do. I just watched videos with the kid that I babysat and it was just like watching fresh paint dry on a wall. I decided from there on I would not work. I do chores (get the mail from the mailbox and take the trash cans out) and help around the house, anything IT related I will either learn it myself or try to fix it after some help.

 

[Lorelaine]

I love to work and have always had at least 2 jobs. I can't sit still and have plenty to do, but working gives me purpose. Not to mention I love the extra money. My jobs are mostly work I can do by myself, but I've been really trying the last few years to work at places with a team. It's certainly not easy, so I would recommend your boyfriend apply for a job he can do from home or on a farm (it's one of the jobs I do that pays well, the work is hard but you're usually by yourself which is nice and relaxing). Some nice at-home jobs like data entry and transcription are things he could look into as well.

 

[Irkoutsk]

I do work! I have two job for 50 hours a week but I'm getting tired so I want to leave one job to go for only 36 hours a week as a Taxi driver. Maybe one day I'll work with Uber but I need to know how taxi works correctly.

 

[Jet Weiss]

I work part-time for my mum as a dog handler and groomer, and in September I will start a "real job" as a dog trainer at a local K9 Centre.
I don't think I could work full-time as I am also going to uni/college (I am a commuter student and live at home). I am very serious about studying and I want to have time for schoolwork in addition to a job.
I get bored easily when I am not working though I think that is due to my ADHD more so than my Asperger's.
I have a very strong work ethic and I am the sort of hard worker who will not stop until I am completely satisfied with what I have done and I have re-checked everything.
The environment I feel most comfortable working in is when I am alone. As an introvert, I prefer to work solo without distractions.

My dad had high-functioning autism and was never able to hold a job for more than a few months, he was always let go, usually due to meltdowns in the workplace. He had a wide variety of jobs ranging from entertainment/media to culinary to engineering. He had a degree and was very intelligent, though career life didn't suit him.
My mum on the other hand, runs her own business and has been very successful, she faced quite a bit of discrimination when working for employers because of her disability and the fact that she has a service dog. She is much better on her own. My mum is not on the spectrum though.

 

[ems]

Fortunately I no longer have to, as I gave birth to a son who is severely disabled & I am his Carer.

But before that, I did try.

It was a nightmare.

I became depressed and had a very nasty episode afterwards. Never again thankfully

 

[Todd Gilbey]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

I do work, I love working but I can see where your boyfriends coming from when you say he feels he is incapable. I felt the same way at one point so he's definitely not alone. I work best when I'm not "micromanaged", if there is any manager out there who values having an easy life - don't micromanage me. My experience is that aspies work well in this environment though, so your bf would probably do well in an autonomous or semi-autonomous role where he has space and scope for creative and logical thinking.

Just don't suggest he work in retail, I was management in retail for one of the big four supermarket chains & my "***** on steroids" of a boss got shouted at....just saying Hope this helps though.

 

[louloulovesdogs]

A few general questions...

-Do you work?

-If so, what job do you do, part-time or full-time? How many hours do you feel capable of doing? What kind of environment do you feel comfortable in?

-If not, have you tried to in the past and things didn't work out? How do you support yourself otherwise? Do you feel incapable of working? Do you want to work? Do you get bored not working? What do you do with all the free time?


I'm currently trying to convince my aspie boyfriend to consider a part-time job in order to help pay the bills. I can cover things on my own, but even him working 10 or 15 hours a week would make us a lot more comfortable. He really wants too but thinks he can't handle it and is afraid to try. I don't know what to do.
I guess for now I'm just trying to understand him...if this kind of difficulty with work is common to aspies or not.

I work full time, 40 hours a week, 8-5 M-F, I do software sales, over the phone. I work in an environment where I can have fidget toys, I can go into a private room even though it's a big open concept that is loud, i have a laptop and wireless headset. it's also not working with people face to face and it's highly scripted and the same thing every day pretty much.

I would say flexibility in moving around, having scripts and things i can learn and repeat, and having a routine is important for me. There is a very social aspect to the workplace which can be hard to navigate, but I made friends with coworkers who started at the same time as me. There is also no strict dress code so I can be comfy, which is very important too.

I am 23, this is my first job out of college, I graduated in dec 2015 from college and started here in Feb 2016. So I've had the job about a year and half.

The worst thing that happens if your boyfriend tries a job is he doesn't like it and he quits, or he gets fired. But that's not that big a deal, i've been fired from a part time job before. I think whatever job he finds, it should be one that has a lot of training because then you learn exactly what you're meant to do.

 

[Jimbo]

I run my own carpet and upholstery cleaning business. Very routine and I get to do my work alone. I do have to deal with customers but can handle short term socializing.

I went to school for HVAC repair but my first job out of school was a disaster. I was put on a truck as a helper and didn't have the ability to jump in and show the company what I was capable of. My second job was as a vending machine repairman. It was great. They gave me a van and a stack of work orders and told me to have at it. I enjoyed the freedom of being out in the world all day fixing vending machines. Lots of alone time. I even got to know my coworkers and they were very accepting of me and I was very good at my job.

What kinds of things is your boyfriend good at?