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Aspie Humour (example)

ems

Well-Known Member
This is a perfect example of what I can laugh at EVERY time I look at it!
 

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Well not withstanding the glaring poor use of grammar I wonder how it could be possible for a shop to move.
Perhaps they will put the entire building on a low loader ? :D:p
 
I will give you an example of aspie humour: A man walks into the bar, sees all the noisy drunkards, and walks right back out.
 
Heisenberg gets pulled over by a traffic cop.
The cop says - "do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies - "No, but I know exactly where I am" :D
 
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.
When the bartender returns with the beer the neutron asks - "how much"?
The bartender replies - "For you no charge" :D
 
A guilty pleasure of mine:
He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"
The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.
"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."
"There's just one problem," says the horse. "I'm a horse."
"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach horses. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."
Sure enough, the horse gets really good at the guitar and he can play that amazing solo. He wants to show his friends, so he picks up the phone and calls chicken.
"Hey Chicken, come over!" he says. Chicken comes over, watches horse play the guitar and thinks it's pretty cool. Chicken watches the music video and says "hey, that drum part is pretty cool, I want to learn to play that."
Chicken goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play the drums." Says the chicken.
"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."
"There's just one problem," says the chicken. "I'm a chicken."
"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach chickens. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."
Sure enough, the chicken gets really good and begins to jam with the horse. Eventually, they think that something's missing. They watch the video again and realize they need a bass guitarist. They call their friend Cow and show them what they've been up to. Cow thinks it's pretty cool, and wants to learn how to play the bass guitar.
Cow goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play bass guitar." Says the cow.
"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."
"There's just one problem," says the cow. "I'm a cow."
"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach cows. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."
Sure enough, the cow gets really good at the bass and the animals have a nice band going.
One day, while they're practicing, a man walks by and hears them. He goes up to the animals and says "hey, you guys are pretty good! I'm from a record label, I'd like to sign you!"
The band records an album, puts out some singles and becomes a massive success. They go on a worldwide tour and make tons of money. Right before the last show of the tour, which is supposed to be in Vegas, Horse gets a call. His mother is in hospital.
Horse goes to visit her before the show while the rest of the band goes to Vegas to set up. It turns out that she's all good, it's just a cold. As horse is leaving the hospital, he gets another call. The private jet that was carrying the band and their producer crashed into the ocean, and there were no survivors.
Horse is devastated. All of his best friends are dead, he's out of a job and he's stuck with nowhere to go. He breaks down in tears and decides he'll drink himself to death.
So the horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "why the long face?"
 
That's because you have to take it at face value.

If you look for a punchline, you'll feel disappointment instead of humour.

....but then it's not funny?

Then again it depends on which "Heisenberg" one is talking about. :cool:

220px-Walter_White2.jpg

This is what I thought was being referenced, and I never watch Breaking Bad so thought that was why I missed the joke.
 
Well technically yes, its not funny. But the surprise element of that being the case, is actually what makes me laugh about it.
 
....but then it's not funny?

This is what I thought was being referenced, and I never watch Breaking Bad so thought that was why I missed the joke.

I'm pretty sure she meant the physicist, Werner Heisenberg. Not Walter White.

Though I loved how he was portrayed in the miniseries "Genius". Where he and his physics team struggled to split the atom for Germany without success. Then after being captured he and his team heard that the Americans dropped the atom bomb on Hiroshima. One of them ponders, "I wonder how they did it?"

And Heisenberg replied, "Oh it's quite simple. Then he proceeded to jot down what he knew all along." :cool:

Though scholars seem to argue whether he really knew or not. An interesting story, regardless. I'd like to think he knew exactly what he was doing all along. Perhaps another one of WW2's "unsung heroes".

Saboteur Or Savant Of Nazi Drive for A-Bomb?
 
An example of pointless 'humour' that I enjoy is this 'hangouts' image.

It means nothing, until my bored mind makes it funny with the thought:

'I have no friends, that's why it's empty'.

Then it makes me laugh at my life. Thus, lightening a sad fact.
 

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For me, dark humour is best. Hmm like this joke:

A man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, your results say have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
 

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