Aspie always wants to wear glasses

[Carla Stone]

My 12 year old son is high functioning. A year ago I got him glasses to diminish the blue light from screens (since he spends so much time on them.) Ever since then, he refuses to take them off at all. If I take them away for a few minutes he gets a headache and hides his face. I know he’s hiding behind these clear glasses
but I would love to see his face again!
Should I give up and let him wear them all day? Is it too stressful for him to try and limit wearing them?

 

[Danno]

Not much of a help with "should you or shouldn't you" but it might be worth considering that he associates the glasses with helping cut down on light stimulation and therefore makes him feel "safe" having them on.

I'm a "normal" glasses wearer, and although I could in theory switch to contacts, even the frames of my specs act as a barrier from the outside world at times, cuts down on the amount going on in my peripheral vision (and therefore less things for me to take in and process).

 

[Judge]

Should I give up and let him wear them all day? Is it too stressful for him to try and limit wearing them?

If in his opinion they aid him in his sensory issues then let him wear them no differently than those of us with prescription lenses. Period.

After all, it's his perception that counts in this instance. Not yours. In our world, some of the most apparently benign things can be something between annoying and utterly excruciating to us. Worse when those in our most immediate social orbit cannot understand or relate to this.

 

[Tom]

It sounds like pretty typical Aspie behavior, getting attached to certain things, and have heard of glasses specifically before. It doesn't sound particularly problematic as long as they don't hurt his eyes in some way, wearing them all the time. It might be a good idea to try and teach him there are or might be certain times when he can not wear them, so he can go without if needed. Though I can only think of a few uncommon situations that would be true.

 

[Misery]

I'd definitely agree with "just let him do it".

Though it's very hard to explain why. Sensory issues are the sort of thing where those who have it, fully understand it, but those who dont, probably cant, because there's no way to REALLY explain what it's like.

I have plenty of sensory issues myself (though not that one) and anyone trying to take something from me is, well... it's not a good idea, I'll put it that way.

It's the same with the idea of object attachment, which is different than sensory issues. For instance I have this keychain, right. It's like 2.5 feet long (no, seriously). I must have it with me when I'm out of the house or it'll just bug me the whole time. But more than that, I dont let anyone else touch it if I can avoid it. If someone so much as picks it up just to move it out of the way, my full attention is focused on them until they let it go. No, I dont know why. But object attachment can be very intense. Well, many things related to the spectrum can be "intense".

In a general sense, for someone on the spectrum, taking something like that away is often a very fast path to big trouble. If you've heard the term "meltdowns", that's one thing that can easily happen. As long as the thing he's attached to (regardless of the reason for it) isnt harmful, it's best to just leave it be.

 

[Autistamatic]

As a child, I always hankered after specs because of the literal mask they provide. I ended up being a spectacle maker and optical dispenser by profession and I still work in that industry now, albeit in a different capacity.
I have always been slightly myopic but optometrists always told me my prescription wasn't worth correcting until my mid 20s. They didn't understand how sensitive I am to minor changes in my vision.
I'm 48 now. I'm myopic and presbyopic. I wear the best progressive lenses on the market, but they're still far from my own standards of perfection.
Autistic hypersensitivity is a very real thing, and your son may well be as sensitive as I was. Perhaps he has a tiny prescription that would not bother most people. Maybe he feels safer behind the mask specs provide. Either way, please don't discourage him.
My specs are as much a part of my visual perception of myself as my eyes are themselves. My beard is as much part of my identity as my chin.
The smallest unit used in optics for prescription purposes is 0.25 dioptres. My own prescription needs are finer than those. Your lad could well be as sensitive as I am, not only to his prescription needs but also to certain frequencies of light which his specs shield him from.
Even if it's just down to the masking element, please don't discourage him.
Specs are good, many people find them attractive and they provide far more benefits for the individual than most people appreciate.

 

[Peter Morrison]

When I read your post, I thought your son was behaving like a typical kid who developed an attachment to something new and enjoys interacting with it. Like the others who suggest he might enjoy the subdued light effect due to excessive sensitivity, I would also make sure those glasses can be worn anywhere and everywhere without damaging his eyes. I can only assume that you have asked him why he likes wearing them.

Kids can develop an intense interest in something new and fun, like a new toy truck kept within reach at the dinner table. I did a lot of very weird stuff as a kid, and it was all harmless play. You eventually grow out of it because the novelty wears off, or something new comes along.

I had eye strain issues when I was about your son's age. We were looking for sources of my reading difficulties. I remember people thinking that my ophthalmologist was a quack when I explained that his waiting room was full of toys and games with numbers and letters stuck on various parts of the items. He gave me two exercises to do every day and I did them religiously. One was to bring a pencil point as close to my face as possible while keeping it in focus, then switch my focus to a tree far away. Then I had to switch focus back to the pencil. I had to do that as many times as possible. The other game was a ping pong ball inside a small net attached to handle grips. I could make the ball spring up if I clasped the handles quickly. The ball would fly up, and I had to catch it again in the net. The purpose seems clear - I was exercising my eye muscles to facilitate the physiological skills needed in reading. Even as a kid, I knew this guy wasn't a quack. He was innovative and very helpful. I'm glad you are paying attention to your son's eyes. Kids don't know to speak up if their eyesight is slowly failing. The process is so slow they don't notice it. As one who knows the importance of dealing with learning issues, I appreciate your attention to your son.

 

[Sherlock77]

When I was young I had to start using glasses to see better... 35 years later I'm still wearing them, my world is very blurry without them, I put them on when I get up, and take them off when I go to bed, rather simple really, it doesn't bother me to wear them... And it's only been in the last two years that I've been aware of my likely Asperger's

For some reason I've never even bothered to get contact lenses

 

[Carla Stone]

Not much of a help with "should you or shouldn't you" but it might be worth considering that he associates the glasses with helping cut down on light stimulation and therefore makes him feel "safe" having them on.

I'm a "normal" glasses wearer, and although I could in theory switch to contacts, even the frames of my specs act as a barrier from the outside world at times, cuts down on the amount going on in my peripheral vision (and therefore less things for me to take in and process).

Thank you Danno!

 

[Carla Stone]

If in his opinion they aid him in his sensory issues then let him wear them no differently than those of us with prescription lenses. Period.

After all, it's his perception that counts in this instance. Not yours. In our world, some of the most apparently benign things can be something between annoying and utterly excruciating to us. Worse when those in our most immediate social orbit cannot understand or relate to this.

You’re so very right that it’s his perception that counts! Thank you

 

[Carla Stone]

It sounds like pretty typical Aspie behavior, getting attached to certain things, and have heard of glasses specifically before. It doesn't sound particularly problematic as long as they don't hurt his eyes in some way, wearing them all the time. It might be a good idea to try and teach him there are or might be certain times when he can not wear them, so he can go without if needed. Though I can only think of a few uncommon situations that would be true.

Thank you!

 

[Carla Stone]

I'd definitely agree with "just let him do it".

Though it's very hard to explain why. Sensory issues are the sort of thing where those who have it, fully understand it, but those who dont, probably cant, because there's no way to REALLY explain what it's like.

I have plenty of sensory issues myself (though not that one) and anyone trying to take something from me is, well... it's not a good idea, I'll put it that way.

It's the same with the idea of object attachment, which is different than sensory issues. For instance I have this keychain, right. It's like 2.5 feet long (no, seriously). I must have it with me when I'm out of the house or it'll just bug me the whole time. But more than that, I dont let anyone else touch it if I can avoid it. If someone so much as picks it up just to move it out of the way, my full attention is focused on them until they let it go. No, I dont know why. But object attachment can be very intense. Well, many things related to the spectrum can be "intense".

In a general sense, for someone on the spectrum, taking something like that away is often a very fast path to big trouble. If you've heard the term "meltdowns", that's one thing that can easily happen. As long as the thing he's attached to (regardless of the reason for it) isnt harmful, it's best to just leave it be.

Thank you for your input!

As a child, I always hankered after specs because of the literal mask they provide. I ended up being a spectacle maker and optical dispenser by profession and I still work in that industry now, albeit in a different capacity.
I have always been slightly myopic but optometrists always told me my prescription wasn't worth correcting until my mid 20s. They didn't understand how sensitive I am to minor changes in my vision.
I'm 48 now. I'm myopic and presbyopic. I wear the best progressive lenses on the market, but they're still far from my own standards of perfection.
Autistic hypersensitivity is a very real thing, and your son may well be as sensitive as I was. Perhaps he has a tiny prescription that would not bother most people. Maybe he feels safer behind the mask specs provide. Either way, please don't discourage him.
My specs are as much a part of my visual perception of myself as my eyes are themselves. My beard is as much part of my identity as my chin.
The smallest unit used in optics for prescription purposes is 0.25 dioptres. My own prescription needs are finer than those. Your lad could well be as sensitive as I am, not only to his prescription needs but also to certain frequencies of light which his specs shield him from.
Even if it's just down to the masking element, please don't discourage him.
Specs are good, many people find them attractive and they provide far more benefits for the individual than most people appreciate.

Thank you!

 

[Carla Stone]

When I read your post, I thought your son was behaving like a typical kid who developed an attachment to something new and enjoys interacting with it. Like the others who suggest he might enjoy the subdued light effect due to excessive sensitivity, I would also make sure those glasses can be worn anywhere and everywhere without damaging his eyes. I can only assume that you have asked him why he likes wearing them.

Kids can develop an intense interest in something new and fun, like a new toy truck kept within reach at the dinner table. I did a lot of very weird stuff as a kid, and it was all harmless play. You eventually grow out of it because the novelty wears off, or something new comes along.

I had eye strain issues when I was about your son's age. We were looking for sources of my reading difficulties. I remember people thinking that my ophthalmologist was a quack when I explained that his waiting room was full of toys and games with numbers and letters stuck on various parts of the items. He gave me two exercises to do every day and I did them religiously. One was to bring a pencil point as close to my face as possible while keeping it in focus, then switch my focus to a tree far away. Then I had to switch focus back to the pencil. I had to do that as many times as possible. The other game was a ping pong ball inside a small net attached to handle grips. I could make the ball spring up if I clasped the handles quickly. The ball would fly up, and I had to catch it again in the net. The purpose seems clear - I was exercising my eye muscles to facilitate the physiological skills needed in reading. Even as a kid, I knew this guy wasn't a quack. He was innovative and very helpful. I'm glad you are paying attention to your son's eyes. Kids don't know to speak up if their eyesight is slowly failing. The process is so slow they don't notice it. As one who knows the importance of dealing with learning issues, I appreciate your attention to your son.

I hope he grows out of it, he has outgrown his other obsessions. The problem is that as bright as he is, he hasn’t been able to explain to me why he needs to wear them. Just says it’s painful without them. But thank you for helping me understand

 

[GrownupGirl]

Would you take a blind person's cane away because you hated them using it all the time?
Would you take away the hearing aid of someone who is hard of hearing because you didn't like seeing it stuck in their ear all the time?
Would you take away someone's wheelchair because you were tired of seeing them not being able to walk?

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

The problem is that as bright as he is, he hasn’t been able to explain to me why he needs to wear them.

That's a pretty common problem for people on the spectrum. At age 30 I have a pretty good idea of what bothers me and why, and could explain some of it or at least give analogies that other people might understand, because I've researched it quite a bit and compared what I learned to my own experiences. At age 12, though, I couldn't have explained any of it, not even to myself. Neurotypical culture doesn't tend to teach us the language to describe things that aren't common neurotypical experiences, so sometimes we don't know how to talk about those things until we learn it from other people with similar experiences. It's also common to have trouble describing or even understanding how we feel, even if we are otherwise very intelligent and even well-spoken.

 

[BraidedPony]

I love my glasses! I feel naked and vulnerable without them. It’s not like I’m wearing dead rats on my head or something.

 

[Bikutoso]

I would still use glasses even I didn't need them.

 

[Isadoorian]

Would you take a blind person's cane away because you hated them using it all the time?
Would you take away the hearing aid of someone who is hard of hearing because you didn't like seeing it stuck in their ear all the time?
Would you take away someone's wheelchair because you were tired of seeing them not being able to walk?

I think you're taking this a tad too far to be honest; the examples are people with Disabilities, the OP's talking about her Autistic son who got Blue Filter glasses from his Mother (the OP) because he uses too many electronic devices (Tablets, Phone, PC etc.) and possibly gets headaches or has sleeping issues and they help alleviate them and chooses to wear them 24/7 rather than when he uses said devices.

 

[Fino]

How nice that you got them for him in the first place! It sounds adorable to me.

I wouldn't worry about him not getting over it, I doubt he'll be sixty years old and refusing to take them off.

If you miss his face, look at a picture!

 

[Suzanne]

I was obsessed with glasses too. I wanted a pair so much, that I was intending to fake the test to get them, but lol it ended me needing them anyway, due to a lazy eye! Also, my introduction to sunglasses and oh my! I was thrilled, because suddenly, I was not overwhelmed with brightness of the sun.

Don't take them away from them, especially since the purpose still exists ie his computer screen.