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Aspergers and Depression (My Intro)

ouviel

New Member
Hi! I'll just start.

I diagnosed myself as aspergers at 31 years old. It happened unexpectedly, thanks to an Aspergers from Inside video recommendation on youtube. I've always suspected I was aspergers, but to be sure, I needed more information to set aside the stereotypes I didn't fit in, so that youtube channel really changed things for me.

I'm here to read more experiences that will echo mine, because it's healthy. On my part, I won't enumerate all the signs that have led me to my self-diagnosis; for now I just want to talk about what I have in mind.

I always get the impression that I'm an odd case for the turns my life has made (not only when it comes to aspergers, but also with my homosexuality).

Since childhood, human interaction has always been overwhelming to me. I've experienced several burnouts thoughout my life, because I've always struggled with following other people in any way. I get left behind because I process interactions in a very different manner. This has meant various forms of rejection for me. I used to have no filter with what I said, and I used to tire people with my obsessions, without noticing; but at 13 years old, some school mates where very mean to me about that, and isolated me. Since then, I became even more stressed when interacting; although most of the time I just don't interact at all.

My mind is always having something on a loop. When I'm ok, it's a special interest; but when I'm low, it's what I said to this person, what that person said to me, how we say things, when, everything. I've lived most of my life depressed, so I regret not having embraced who I am before, because I would have liked to develop my special interest as far as I could take them. I've had various traumatic experiences for not fitting in, and they have left me with very unhealthy obsessions. But my mind works that way, in general - either on a loop, or just blank and non-functional.

I've come a long way. I'm getting better (although I committed self-harm only recently). I have had difficulty getting and keeping a job because of my burnouts. Currently, I'm trying to start over; I'm studying front-end web developing. Wish me luck. Thanks for reading and replying. I'm eager to learn from other experiences.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
d568032ffd3f5ba7a8ea5bf3814ccc08.png
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
Oh gosh, you sound kind of like me... I'd be happy to give you advice about some of these situations and also hear your perspective on them.
I'm an outgoing person... but for my entire life I've struggled with negative social interactions with peers and bullying situations that became traumatic. I've developed some mental health issues because of this.
My sexuality and gender identity have made me stand out as unusual in a lot of places too. I haven't met a lot of people irl that have had similar experiences with ever-changing gender identity issues and also had the negative experience that I've had with the LGBTQ+ community (not meant offensively, I just felt ostracized and looked down upon by some of the community because they had a hard time with my views on certain things, and because I've been perpetually stuck in a stage of fluctuating identity, and what apparently looked to them like detransitioning, which is looked down upon in the community I guess? I also don't really care what pronouns people use for me; I generally let them come to that conclusion on their own and I don't really see that there's a wrong answer. That's what a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community took issue with.)
Anyway... you'll see from all my other posts that I ramble. Lol
I think even neurodiverse people get sick of hearing about my obsessions honestly. But like you, I've been very mistreated because of my obsessions. Which has caused me to develop some unhealthy ones too. My mind also gets stuck in a loop on a lot of things, whether it's a Special Interest, an intrusive thought, or obsessing about how I did something embarrassing or had a negative interaction. I'm learning not to take things personally, but I do still get stuck on things.
I have trouble keeping jobs too, so I try to find side jobs that I enjoy and can do on my own but can also make some income doing. I don't like working for other people, it just doesn't work out because of how my brain is wired. I have issues with self-harm too but I'm improving, I think.
Sorry for the long-winded ramble... which has really just become characteristic of me on this site, lol. I'm not very articulate unless I can write it down. So my posts tend to go on forever. When I speak in person I sound like I'm in elementary school.
It's nice to meet you, and hopefully you'll find yourself at home here, there's a lot of valuable advice on this forum from people with a wide variety of life experiences.
~ Luca
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and welcome, I hope you find it useful and supportive to be here. We are all different but often can understand where others here are coming from. I think you'll fit in fine.

:spoutingwhale::spiralshell::dolphin::spiralshell::whale::spiralshell::fish::spiralshell::spoutingwhale:
 

Suzette

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My mind also gets stuck in a loop on a lot of things, whether it's a Special Interest, an intrusive thought, or obsessing about how I did something embarrassing or had a negative interaction. I'm learning not to take things personally, but I do still get stuck on things.

I do this too. In fact, it is one of the reasons I discovered my own autisim.

Welcome @ouviel. I hope you are happy here.
 
Hi! I'll just start.

I diagnosed myself as aspergers at 31 years old. It happened unexpectedly, thanks to an Aspergers from Inside video recommendation on youtube. I've always suspected I was aspergers, but to be sure, I needed more information to set aside the stereotypes I didn't fit in, so that youtube channel really changed things for me.

I'm here to read more experiences that will echo mine, because it's healthy. On my part, I won't enumerate all the signs that have led me to my self-diagnosis; for now I just want to talk about what I have in mind.

I always get the impression that I'm an odd case for the turns my life has made (not only when it comes to aspergers, but also with my homosexuality).

Since childhood, human interaction has always been overwhelming to me. I've experienced several burnouts thoughout my life, because I've always struggled with following other people in any way. I get left behind because I process interactions in a very different manner. This has meant various forms of rejection for me. I used to have no filter with what I said, and I used to tire people with my obsessions, without noticing; but at 13 years old, some school mates where very mean to me about that, and isolated me. Since then, I became even more stressed when interacting; although most of the time I just don't interact at all.

My mind is always having something on a loop. When I'm ok, it's a special interest; but when I'm low, it's what I said to this person, what that person said to me, how we say things, when, everything. I've lived most of my life depressed, so I regret not having embraced who I am before, because I would have liked to develop my special interest as far as I could take them. I've had various traumatic experiences for not fitting in, and they have left me with very unhealthy obsessions. But my mind works that way, in general - either on a loop, or just blank and non-functional.

I've come a long way. I'm getting better (although I committed self-harm only recently). I have had difficulty getting and keeping a job because of my burnouts. Currently, I'm trying to start over; I'm studying front-end web developing. Wish me luck. Thanks for reading and replying. I'm eager to learn from other experiences.
Hello,
I hope that you find a lot of support here. I joined recently and I am finding it so relieving to talk with people who have similar experiences. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm not sure yet about autism. Even so, the people here have been wonderful and kind.
Web developing is so interesting and something we all experience in so much of our lives. I hope that you find this to be a more rewarding and engaging career and that it helps you with funding a good job.
I wanted to recommend this app called clear fear. It was developed to help with anxiety. The developer also has an app called calm harm. I have not tried that one, but the clear fear app is very nice and I think helpful.
Thank you for sharing your story!
 

musicallessness

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi! I'll just start.

I diagnosed myself as aspergers at 31 years old. It happened unexpectedly, thanks to an Aspergers from Inside video recommendation on youtube. I've always suspected I was aspergers, but to be sure, I needed more information to set aside the stereotypes I didn't fit in, so that youtube channel really changed things for me.

I'm here to read more experiences that will echo mine, because it's healthy. On my part, I won't enumerate all the signs that have led me to my self-diagnosis; for now I just want to talk about what I have in mind.

I always get the impression that I'm an odd case for the turns my life has made (not only when it comes to aspergers, but also with my homosexuality).

Since childhood, human interaction has always been overwhelming to me. I've experienced several burnouts thoughout my life, because I've always struggled with following other people in any way. I get left behind because I process interactions in a very different manner. This has meant various forms of rejection for me. I used to have no filter with what I said, and I used to tire people with my obsessions, without noticing; but at 13 years old, some school mates where very mean to me about that, and isolated me. Since then, I became even more stressed when interacting; although most of the time I just don't interact at all.

My mind is always having something on a loop. When I'm ok, it's a special interest; but when I'm low, it's what I said to this person, what that person said to me, how we say things, when, everything. I've lived most of my life depressed, so I regret not having embraced who I am before, because I would have liked to develop my special interest as far as I could take them. I've had various traumatic experiences for not fitting in, and they have left me with very unhealthy obsessions. But my mind works that way, in general - either on a loop, or just blank and non-functional.

I've come a long way. I'm getting better (although I committed self-harm only recently). I have had difficulty getting and keeping a job because of my burnouts. Currently, I'm trying to start over; I'm studying front-end web developing. Wish me luck. Thanks for reading and replying. I'm eager to learn from other experiences.
I always knew I made a few acquaintances that were autistic and when you meet a fellow aspie you know I mean knew like most aspies know we are on the spectrum but, perhaps I shouldve requested to be tested as a child and growing up would've been different like deep down I knew this and I preferred to deny my spectrum curse abilities. How's that for a poetic oxymoron, cursed abilities? I always called peoe normal and since I was about 31 been calling normal people normies as I started learning more recently about the label aspies, so now it's the normies versus the aspies, the final battle... As if... It's a battle right? Oh Bart Simpson preaches about war and how there are only losers...
 

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