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Asking for assistance in escaping my life

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by UberScout, May 22, 2020.

  1. UberScout

    UberScout JAPANAPAJ

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    Does anyone on the forum here live in or near the state of North Carolina? I can't take this anymore. I want, no NEED, someone to come down to where I am and take me away from this sad, repulsive thing I call my life.

    There's too much fighting, Charles has gotten past the point of no return, there's too much discord, nobody's happy with anyone, and he just tried to choke for the millionth time.

    I'm done trying to walk out on my own, in fact he won't let me anymore because after another lovely chaotic fight in our house, he told me if I don't put my backpack down he'd take a hammer and kill me with it and he showed me which hammer he was going to use, he used to it realign my door when I knocked it out of place.

    Now that I know I'm being held against my will just like I was with my uncle and aunt, I know that escape is the only option for me. The longer I stay here, the more fights we have, and the more fights we have the more attempts he makes to kill me, and the more attempts he makes to kill me the stronger he gets, this time he covered both my nose and my mouth and even when I acted like I was losing consciousness he still kept trying to finish me off.

    I need to get out of here. I'm not welcome in this house anymore. I don't care how awesome my mother's cooking is or how awesome my priveleges are, surviving is more important than playing around.

    I live in North Carolina. Private Message/Inbox me for additional details.

    You guys are my best friends and I trust any and all of you to help me out with this in some way, whether it's a bus ticket/airplane ticket or something, I don't care, I just need to get out of here before it's too late!!!!!!!

    Please help me! I trust all of you!
     
  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    North Carolina Runaway 336-274-5909
    This program is located in Greensboro

    Haven House 919-896-7865
    Raleigh

    Child protective services is not my first choice, because the foster families can be more abusive or the same as the parents.

    You aunt and uncle maybe bad, but maybe they live in a better place with access to programs? Stay strong. You can report to police anybody who tries to physically hurt you.

    I went thru a bad time myself. The police did come, after that my ex changed his behaviors enough for me to leave.
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    The other option might be:

    domesticshelters.org
    There are 82 cities in North Carolina that have programs for you. Can you get to that web site? This is domestic abuse or they can point you in a better direction.
     
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  4. UberScout

    UberScout JAPANAPAJ

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    I'm not with my aunt and uncle anymore. They're dead. It's my mother and stepfather. My mother isn't like my stepfather but like I said if I don't thikn of f something soon I'm oggoing to die a horrible dateth under his hands!!! (Look at this I can't even type straight! Should I mention that he just took me on a senseless car ride at maximum speed through town threatening to crash us if I didn't calm down?! THE MAN IS A DANGER TO HIMSELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND HIM!)
     
  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Take some deep breaths right now. Hug yourself. You can get to a solution but you need to quiet the emotions to figure out help.
     
  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Is your mother abused too?
     
  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My mother refused to acknowledge she was with an abusive man.
     
  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    You only have a few choices - get money and leave for a run away shelter, call police(not sure if they will believe you), get your mother to respond and take appropriate action, got to a church in town and ask for help.
     
  9. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Secretly videotape him trying to hurt you.
     
  10. cnn

    cnn Let`s talk

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    Dear UberScout,

    Welcome to life. No matter how difficult the situation, there is always a way out.

    Please write down the facts. It is important to create an action plan and timeline.

    Do you need to act right now or do you have some time?

    What are your immediate resources and options?

    Who else has been aware of the situation and If they can be a witness if needed?

    That is how we grow up, solving problems.
    So far you are doing great, keep it up!!!
     
  11. UberScout

    UberScout JAPANAPAJ

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    Not so much abused as more like caught in the crossfire, if that makes any sense.
     
  12. UberScout

    UberScout JAPANAPAJ

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    Yeah, he's learned too many tricks for that kinda thing. I tried once.
     
  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Just get your mom to get money for you then and look for shelter home. Try to get identifying documents if you can like birth certificate. Get your mom privately when he is gone and tell her this is totally bad for you and you can't take it anymore and you need her help. You need to get to a teenager shelter - l am assuming you are under 21? Otherwise if older, you need too get to domestic abuse shelter. Your mom maybe to frighten to do anything. Woman become conditioned to abuse, it becomes *learned helplessness* where they feel no matter what they do, it doesn't matter. She has to be able to understand this to actually escape this thought process. Your stepfather is using fear to program you right now- it's a gas lighting technique. I am assuming he is bigger than you? Can you start documenting every time he tries to hurt you, this is your evidence why you left. You can even blog it here. It's evidence. Can you get thru to your mom?
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
  14. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    A individual faces a negative uncontrollable situation stops trying to change their circumstances even when they have the ability equals learned helplessness it's part of the systematic gas lighting techniques.

    I suggest strongly researching gas lighting it will give you insight to the techniques your step father is using.
     
  15. oregano

    oregano They don't know who we be...

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    Your profile says you are 24. That gives me an unusual thought. It is perfectly legal in the US for a landlord of any kind, be it a parent or a master tenant, to call police and ask them to remove a violent tenant from their premises. Maybe you could somehow call the local police and tell them that your stepfather is threatening your life if you try to leave, that you want to leave, and could the police escort you from the house to a nearby homeless shelter?

    It's sort of the usual "kick my crazy tenant out" call flipped on its head. The "landlord" is the violent one and you are the tenant needing protection. It probably happens a lot in traditional husband/wife DV scenarios. In fact, last year a Sacramento city cop was murdered by the violent husband of a woman who she was escorting out of his house.

    Then your first thing to do would be to file for a restraining order. Then you would likely have to take a bus to another city to prevent Charles from hunting you down-this sounds a lot like the old "if I can't have you nobody can" scenario.
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Really smart....... then po will have something on file for help getting counseling for PTSD which l think they are obviously dealing with.

    Charles sounds like an serial abuser to me. His wife is too caught up in the abuse. Happened to my mom, and she took my stepfather's side, even though l was just a teenager that was clueless to what was going on. I am worried the po might be totally overwhelmed and scared of what to do next so l am hoping all this advice makes sense to them. If they are on the spectrum, then taking action can be a little hindered without sufficient support.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
  17. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member

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    Don't really have anything useful to add, you may need a support person/social worker contact to help you into independent housing, but that can take time and there's often waiting lists. Maybe just lay low at home, don't confront him while you think over which agency can help you

    All the best, youre a great guy and you can do this.
     
  18. Creep

    Creep Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

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    Hi UberScout,
    I’m worried about you. I agree that getting out of this living situation is in your best interest. You need a plan. I would urge you to seek support from social service agencies in your state & community.

    Please be careful. Leaving an abusive situation is dangerous. Asking internet strangers for assistance can also be dangerous.

    Unfortunately, there are many predators & scammers looking for vulnerable people to exploit. You don’t want to escape one dangerous situation only to end up in another. Good luck & take care.
     
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  19. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    @UberScout

    You've mentioned this sort of experience taking place on a
    rather regular basis, more than once a year, for some time now.

    What happens when you bring up your living circumstances with
    your therapist and/or case worker?
     
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  20. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Can you live on your own? Do you have a job or SSDI or other government benefits? If so, quietly save your money and make plans to leave as soon as possible.
     
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