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Are You Shy?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Pondering, Jul 21, 2015.

  1. Pondering

    Pondering Well-Known Member

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    Shy, introversion, quiet, AS, and social anxiety disorder are not all the same thing although many people have at least one of them. Throughout my entire life I have wanted to talk to my peers but due to personality traits combined with not wanting to dusrupt a learning environment, I was quiet but never afraid. It was a silence few people saw past. To them there was a 'shell' I had to break out of and suddenly I would magically transform into a social butterfly one day. In truth, there was no shell. I just didn't know how to express my personality properly. Going up in front of the class to speak or present was a no-brainer. In fact, I liked it even. Technically, I am not shy. But a quiet temperament does not automatically make one shy. It is merely percieved that way and many people are not who they are percieved to be. So I have one question: are you shy? Truly shy? What does shy feel like to you?
     
  2. artfull dodger

    artfull dodger Well-Known Member

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    Yes I am truely shy in most situations. Unless I am at a tractor or model train show, I wont speak to anybody. I am very introverted most of the time, only coming out of my shell during those two instances. Both are special interests for me. I worked in retail for a few year and the horrible shut downs after work were not worth what I made. I just didnt know what was happening back then. Shyness to me is the inablity to talk to someone when you really want to. Like to a girl I might really wanna have fun with or date, but cannot find the ablity to say a damn thing to her. In my late teens and twenties this was a huge problem for me. It wasnt till the internet that I was able to find a "voice" to chat with girls and find the one I am married to now. Mike
     
  3. AsheSkyler

    AsheSkyler Feathered Jester

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    I usually get disqualified from the shy category because I'm too ornery and/or bored. :p
     
  4. Beverly

    Beverly Euthanasia Redux V.I.P Member

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    No, I'm definitely not shy. I like to call myself an extroverted introvert. I am a loner at heart but, if there is socializing to be done, I'll be right in the middle of it - often making a fool of myself or, annoying people by being too opinionated and, blunt but oh well, I'm just being me and enjoying myself.

    Of course when one of my facades is required, it's another matter. Then I am the perfect socialite, all be that an act and, I spend over half of the time lying through my teeth but, that's just being professional in my circles. Everyone hands out false compliments and smile at rivals, wishes them luck in winning the next award, etc...

    "Oh DJ, you look great, LOVE the blue hair." [You're too thin, run down and, blue is a horrid color for you.]
    "Thanks you too, did you have your breasts done?" [You gained weight, need to go on a diet.]
    "No, new push up, looks good yeah?" [Why you arsehole, how dare you mention my weight.]
    "So, you're up for the Brit again this year I see." [I deserve it more than you.]
    "Yeah, so are you. I hope you get it, you haven't won one yet." [Jerk, you aren't going to win it either, it's MINE.]

    See how that works? And that's between friends. Probably explains how I became a half crazy, halfbreed Aspie huh? LOL.
     
  5. Aspieistj

    Aspieistj Well-Known Member

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    I am definitely not shy but don't like to participate in small talk. I also try to suppress my desire to talk to people because I know I am likely to annoy people. Since I do like to talk and tend to irritate NTs, I try to stay as alone as possible.
     
  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    On any initial contact, absolutely.
     
  7. Flinty

    Flinty Off Indefinite Hiatus, I Guess V.I.P Member

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    I've lived with a lot of ridicule.
     
  8. BlueConundrum

    BlueConundrum Active Member

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    I am very shy, but even if I don't feel shy I can be very quiet. I find talking exhausting. I mean, just the act of it. I'm not a fan.

    But I am intensely shy.
     
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  9. epath13

    epath13 the Fool.The Magician.The... V.I.P Member

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    No. But if I don't talk to people frequently (I mean if I don't have long meaningful conversations, not just "what do you want for dinner" or "I'm pushing the right button! Stop saying that I'm not pushing the right button!" or "wee-wee wee-wee. do you need to go to the bathroom?") and if I have a migraine I seem to loose ability to speak without changing words, forgetting words, forgetting what I was going to say. Forgetting the simplest things, like for instance, today I forgot what sound letter "A" makes. Because of that and because of my delayed reaction to unexpected questions I can become very anxious when speaking, approaching people or replying, which to some people may seem as shy, arrogant, "what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-her?"-ish or "are-you-ok?"- ish.
     
  10. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    I was shy when I was younger and still a bit of an introvert at times,but can talk to any person in any setting.
    My easiest conversations usually revolve around running another of my infamous "scams" or finding the "deal of the day"

    One of my better scams was involved with a special oil that was used to lubricate sewage treatment plant pumps.
    I was made privy to the unit cost of the oil per quart and how many quarts per pump over a years time in various plants,so a customer base was formed immediately. I was given a quart to match it by specifications and located 55 gallon drums of the product to be broken down by gallons.
    I propositioned polyethylene bottle manufacturers for sample products on the premise that my business plan would support a monthly volume of 1,000 units per month so the bottles ended up costing nothing as pallets of sample bottles arrived.
    I had professional labels for each bottle printed by a shop under another sign board painting scam we had in the works. Labels $0
    We built a filling station out of a used workbench,plumbing and a drain pan found in a junk pile. cost: $0

    Each of the plants were buying the oil for $50 a quart(.946 liter). I ultimately paid $1.275 a quart for the oil and was able to sell it for $40 per quart. We sold over 500 gallons at a profit over $75,000 in a four year time frame by repackaging and distributing oil. Such a simple plan,anyone could have done it,but only I did.
    XX Distributing turned quite a tidy profit over the years by utilizing mass buying power and a small network of buyers.
    Why XX Distributing you ask? It stands for Double Cross Distributing :p

    Had I been shy,these kinds of deals would have never existed.

    Now try to tell me you don't love a good scam :D
     
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  11. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    Yes I'm very shy,I've been shy all my life and sometimes hardly talk unless it's a topic of interest,I have had many people say "geez she is quiet" but if you get me on a interest I won't shut up about it and it's unfortunely sometimes been a hindrance when I was on dates in the past.
     
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  12. kestrel

    kestrel Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am not shy, though I was labeled as such when I was a kid. I have a form of mild autism, and non verbal learning disorder and I become anxious around strangers, groups or crowds. I was thinking about this lately, and it is possible that my social anxiety came about because of the NVLD. However, with the right mask on I come across as confident enough for a few minutes at a time. Whem I am comfortable I can be talkative and annoyingly repetitive on certain subjects.
     
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  13. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    People usually think that I'm shy because I don't talk much, and in school I never put my hand up to answer a question. I'm also shy with new people and often don't talk to them until I've studied them a bit. I live in my head a lot and don't share my thoughts with other people. My default setting is to remain silent - talking really isn't my thing. I have to talk a lot for work, and I find it exhausting. I don't talk in social groups because I find it so hard to join in the conversation, usually have nothing to contribute, I don't know what to say and I'm often afraid to say things because I don't know how they will react. I don't usually talk in social situations unless someone speaks to me first. However, I can be a lot more talkative if the conversation interests me. Before I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, I was diagnosed with Social Phobia.
     
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  14. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    Before I discovered I was on the spectrum I use to think my problems were due to social phobia and even thought it was agoraphobia but now it makes more sense now.
     
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  15. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Same here - I thought my problems were due to shyness, and if only I could gain more confidence I would become more successful and be able to make more friends, but having AS, being more confident and talking more just serves to highlight my eccentricities and idiosyncracies.
     
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