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Are There Online Dating Sites For People with Autism/Asperger Syndrome?

popculturegeeknerd06

Well-Known Member
what are the names of these sites? Online Dating sites geared towards those with Asperger Syndrome, Autism, etc.? The only Online Dating sites i've really tried for the past 4 years, because that is when I started using Online Dating, were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but you don't have to pay in order to use those sites, so the Online Dating sites i've used have been very limited since the overwhelming vast majority of online dating sites they charge you for them, is it the same for those Aspie/Autism Online Dating sites?
 
MIght I suggest this thread as well

http://www.aspiescentral.com/love-relationships-dating/662-dating-sites-2.html

It's not neccesarily a thread about links all over, but people mention sites and their thoughts about it. Maybe you'll get something from it.

Also; I do agree with Cheetoe80... most sites are paysites. Is this silly? Yes, in a way it is. Is there a reason for it? Probably... relationships and love are things that "sell". People apparently are willing to pay good money to get in touch with "that special person".

Of course; there's free ones, but they're usually limited. Some limited you in sending private messages, some allow limited profile views... best bet, if you really, really, really want someone that "desperate" see what site has most users, looks most credible, viable and shell out some money.
 
MIght I suggest this thread as well

http://www.aspiescentral.com/love-relationships-dating/662-dating-sites-2.html

It's not neccesarily a thread about links all over, but people mention sites and their thoughts about it. Maybe you'll get something from it.

Also; I do agree with Cheetoe80... most sites are paysites. Is this silly? Yes, in a way it is. Is there a reason for it? Probably... relationships and love are things that "sell". People apparently are willing to pay good money to get in touch with "that special person".

Of course; there's free ones, but they're usually limited. Some limited you in sending private messages, some allow limited profile views... best bet, if you really, really, really want someone that "desperate" see what site has most users, looks most credible, viable and shell out some money.

makes me hate being born male sometimes
 
I remember watching a U.K made documentary on YouTube that featured teens & young adults with Asperger's. One boy did go on a dating site, met a nice Aspie girl & they became a couple. If I find the link to the doc, I'll post it so people can see what the site was called. At the time, I paid no attention to this since I'm not in the UK, I'm married & I was more interested in how these young people were living their lives; often with mothers who didn't know how to let go & give their young adult Aspie kids some space to grow up!!! The dating guy was being mothered to death. In one scene, the teen was meeting some friends at a club type place with pool tales etc just to hang out & MOM went along too & sat off to the side quietly supervising. Talk about a ball & chain! If these Aspies are immature & slow to grow up & child-like, I'm not surrised in the least: their parents are keeping them in that regressed state!
 
Why? You think that it is any different for women?

It is different. It's much easier for a woman to get attention from men than it is for a man to get attention from women. You might not like the people who give you attention, but I'm so lonely I'd take anything right now.
 
I don't know of any sites specifically for people with AS but I can say that with a lot of work, trial, and error over the last year I've gotten good at on-line dating on a normal site, and average about 2 dates/week. If there's any interest I can post more about my experiences on here. I got a lot of tips from littleredrails.com

I will say though that for people with AS online dating can be a great opportunity to meet potential partners without drastically changing your lifestyle or superficially being "more social". It does have it pitfalls though in that you end up going on a decent number of bad dates.
 
I'm going to throw a curve ball here. Not to argue or upset anyone. I have a little experience in this matter.

According to thousands of women on E HarmonyAdvice forum *** + women on Yahoo dating groups### + women on Plenty of Fish forum & other women, YES! online dating is different for women & men ;)

***I don't think that forum exists anymore
### most [all?] of those Yahoo dating groups died

Why? You think that it is any different for women?
__________________________________________
Originally Posted by popculturegeeknerd06
"makes me hate being born male sometimes"
 
Last edited:
It is different. It's much easier for a woman to get attention from men than it is for a man to get attention from women. You might not like the people who give you attention, but I'm so lonely I'd take anything right now.

Women get a lot more perverted and disrespectful attention, but not good attention. It's not just undesirable people, but dangerous and gross people. I haven't ever been on an actual dating site, but I've been on a lot of different social networking sites and guys say some really messed up, graphic things. So as far as decent attention goes, I don't think men have it harder at all.
 
Dating sites are the only place I have gotten any dates so far.... I live in an area with no activity or interest groups or clubs so I don't have much of a choice... I use POF, datehookup and OKCupid. All have millions of members and completey free to use.... I met at least ten nice women that way and become facebook friends with more... There are 3 AS dating sites that are also free... autisticdating.net, aspie affection and a new one posted on this site called aspergersromancenetwork.webs.com
I also found a couple of free BBW sites (for plus size women). Don't waste your money on a pay site... Most sites require both members to pay to contact each other. If you do pay, you will find most of the people you look at can't reply back because they are non-paying members.
 
IMHO there's nothing wrong with paying money for that type of service. You're not dating a robot and you're not buying a hooker. It is no different from paying postage to send a love letter, except this is the 21st century. (Or paying admission to enter a dance.) Invest in a good photo of yourself and smile. Smiling is NOT false advertizing to deceive somebody! Skip the dinner and go see a movie. Just remember that on a date, you are in vacation mode, which is very different from living together, when you are in work mode. Like, if a man takes a woman to dinner there is no question who will fix dinner and who will do the dishes.

Do not mention anything about Asperger's. You are not a diagnosis, but an individual. Don't be looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, be looking for Mr. or Ms. Right Now, for a fling. If she asks you what is wrong or why you seem different or whatever, just say you'd rather not discuss that, but the movie. If she says, "Why don't you want to talk about it?" that's when you walk away. That question says, she knows you don't wanna talk about it but she will ask you anyway.
 
Do not mention anything about Asperger's. You are not a diagnosis, but an individual. Don't be looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, be looking for Mr. or Ms. Right Now, for a fling. If she asks you what is wrong or why you seem different or whatever, just say you'd rather not discuss that, but the movie. If she says, "Why don't you want to talk about it?" that's when you walk away. That question says, she knows you don't wanna talk about it but she will ask you anyway.

I actually think this may be bad advice, but perhaps omitting the fact you have Asperger's is beneficial for the men on the spectrum, I don't know. I met my partner via a local online dating site and in my profile was quite open about my diagnosis (and in fact, it was one of the aspects that lead to him messaging me - like minds and all that). I figured anybody who can't see past that is not particularly worth seeing and investing time in.

I think you are correct, Johnny, in that "you are not a diagnosis", however if it effects your life then it will eventually crop up in a relationship or friendship or any kind of -ship, really. I can only speak from my own experience and that may indeed differ from that of an aspie male's, but I found the result of being honest about being an aspie was far more positive than negative.
 
Maybe unless you live in a major city, a pay site is not worth it. In rural areas the biggest problem is selection, and for pay sites it is even worse.
 
MIght I suggest this thread as well

dating sites | Page 2 | AspiesCentral.com

It's not neccesarily a thread about links all over, but people mention sites and their thoughts about it. Maybe you'll get something from it.

Also; I do agree with Cheetoe80... most sites are paysites. Is this silly? Yes, in a way it is. Is there a reason for it? Probably... relationships and love are things that "sell". People apparently are willing to pay good money to get in touch with "that special person".

Of course; there's free ones, but they're usually limited. Some limited you in sending private messages, some allow limited profile views... best bet, if you really, really, really want someone that "desperate" see what site has most users, looks most credible, viable and shell out some money.

I was going to suggest Aspie Affection, but it seems to be kind of dead :/ Plus the site is really buggy and can be frustrating at times ...
 
Dating sites are the only place I have gotten any dates so far.... I live in an area with no activity or interest groups or clubs so I don't have much of a choice... I use POF, datehookup and OKCupid. All have millions of members and completey free to use.... I met at least ten nice women that way and become facebook friends with more... There are 3 AS dating sites that are also free... autisticdating.net, aspie affection and a new one posted on this site called aspergersromancenetwork.webs.com
I also found a couple of free BBW sites (for plus size women). Don't waste your money on a pay site... Most sites require both members to pay to contact each other. If you do pay, you will find most of the people you look at can't reply back because they are non-paying members.

I've been on Eharmony off and on the last 5 years. I have gotten 3 dates so far. I haven't gotten dates on any other site. Personally I'd recommend a site that focuses on personality traits like Eharmony or PerfectMatch.
 
Ok this was an odd experience. Last night just for kicks I checked out this one called autismdatingservice.com . I figured like any niche site I've seen, there would be almost nobody local.

I've dated 15 people in my life, over the last 20 years. Pretty sure that 6 of them live around here within 50 miles. Everybody hears about everybody somehow in these parts.

So anyway I plugged in a generic search of 25 to 45 within 50 miles. 1st page shows 12 people and 2 of them are my more recent exs. Then 2nd page shows 12 more people and 2 of them are exs from over 10 years ago. This is just quick observation from the posted pic and description. The other 2 locals might even be there if I really cared to examine every profile with no photo.

I've been on tons of sites over the years and rarely seen anyone I previously dated. But never have I seen so many as this site, and right on the front pages. From a numbers standpoint to me this was just staggering.

Makes me wonder if I am just late to the game. Maybe later on all these people questioned whether they were autistic too. I guess it goes to show I do tend to pick people like myself.

But I was just curious what was out there, I don't want to get wound up with anybody again so I disabled the profile.
 
If you're going to use an online dating website, it might be better to be willing to pay or not use them because it's more likely you will get quality people if you're not too picky and if both parties are paying to be on the website.
 
It is different. It's much easier for a woman to get attention from men than it is for a man to get attention from women. You might not like the people who give you attention, but I'm so lonely I'd take anything right now.

Your theory is only valid provided that the woman in question is an attractive one. As an unattractive woman, I can successfully say that I have never gained the attention of any man in any manner whatsoever, so your assumption is wrong. Women don't have it any easier than men in this respect. If anything, a woman has to put far more effort into attracting a mate than a male does. Women are expected to wear makeup and don uncomfortable clothes. They are expected to straighten and curl their hair and shave their armpits and legs. Women are expected to frequently have their eyebrows waxed and not be horridly smarter than the males around them, or else lose any chance of finding a partner. If a woman breaks one or two of these societal norms they are labelled as "gross" and not worth pursuing.

All a man has to do is comb his hair and shave his face every now and then, though these "requirements" seem to becoming increasingly optional. I'm sorry that you cannot find a partner and that you feel as though you are lacking attention, but it probably has nothing to do with this theory of attention related to gender. About sometimes wishing that you weren't a male, try giving birth or a painfully heavy period before making that sort of statement. Sorry about the length of this quote which has next to nothing to do with this thread, but I am both easily exited and prone to writing. I hope you find a good partner or at least become less upset about being alone. Maybe you should be looking for a friendship, as friends tend to be easier to make and usually last longer than partnerships. : )
 

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