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Are people on the spectrum judgemental toward others?

Tony Ramirez

Single guy treated badly with Asperger's Syndrome
I seem to be very judgemental especially towards couples and women. I often think couples are rubbing it in and girls that don't talk to me are stuck up snobs.

Yet this past two weeks I was wrong. First I got a package and a woman delivered it and came half way up the stairs to deliver it because I have trouble walking. I nearly tripped and she said are you okay and smiled when I said I was fine.

One of my female friends called me when I felt sad and in pain. She cheered me up.

Then last week at Church a attractive woman talked to me. I was surprised but she was friendly and we chatted for about 5 minutes. Now seeing her I would have thought she was a snob. I probably could have even talked to her friend and she would have been polite.

Then the other Tony I judge harsh when I told him about my backpain he said he was so sorry I was suffering and that he felt sad. He went through it too and felt sorry.

Then today on my way to the store I rested at the restaurant stoop. Most likely a attractive woman either an waitress or working there came up to me and asked if I was okay or wanted something. I said I was just resting.

Now these are just examples from the past two weeks.
 

Richelle-H

Relaxed Relativity Inspector
V.I.P Member
My experiences are quite different from yours, obviously, but I would say one of my more serious faults as a human being is that I am constantly passing judgement on others. Not sure this has anything to do with my autism but radiates more from my innate intelligence than my Asperger's, even though they are in some way inextricably linked.
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
From my own perspective, I don't think people whether Autistic or not are any more or less judgmental than others.
 

Tony Ramirez

Single guy treated badly with Asperger's Syndrome
I just been very judgemental especially the past couple of years but even when I was a teenager and young adult I use to judge people before knowing them even going as far as girls are mean to me I better run away from them which I did.
 

Misery

Photo-Negative
V.I.P Member
I know you're probably thinking I'm going to comment harshly here, but... no, not this time. Despite what you may think, I only do that when it seems truly necessary when nothing else seems to be working.

This post in general that you made this time is FINALLY showing some positive progress. So, what I'll say is... that's good. It's a small step, but a step in the right direction.

The fact that you're recognizing having been overly judgmental, and that you may have been wrong in recent interactions, is a good thing.

Keep that line of thinking going.

As for the question in the topic, well... no, I dont really think those on the spectrum are always specifically more judgmental. But, many do tend to have trouble parsing social things, if that makes sense. It's sort of inherent to autism in a general sense. And when dealing with or talking about others, it can manifest as being judgmental... sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. Each of us is different, so it may manifest as other things in other autistic people. So yeah, it just depends on the individual.

Er... that's about all I have to say on that. No need for a longer post this time.

I hope to see more forward progress from you in the future. We all do, I think.
 

Neonatal RRT

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Are autistics more likely to be judgmental than neurotypicals? I am not sure if there is any data from a statistical standpoint. I am sure, just given all the neurotypicals that surround us daily, that we've all run across a lot of judgmental people in our lives.

We can speculate on whether or not an autistic is statistically more likely to exhibit cognitive biases and thinking errors due to poor "theory of mind"/cognitive empathy,...than a neurotypical. I believe all people are guilty of quick-witted, mouth-before-the-brain responses,...system 1 thinking,...exposing our biases and thinking errors. Certainly, we all live different lives,...experiences and culture,...and forms our "personal truths" and biases,...making us judgmental at times.
 

madisen622

autistic kidcore grandpa
V.I.P Member
I seem to be very judgemental especially towards couples and women. I often think couples are rubbing it in and girls that don't talk to me are stuck up snobs.

Yet this past two weeks I was wrong. First I got a package and a woman delivered it and came half way up the stairs to deliver it because I have trouble walking. I nearly tripped and she said are you okay and smiled when I said I was fine.

One of my female friends called me when I felt sad and in pain. She cheered me up.

Then last week at Church a attractive woman talked to me. I was surprised but she was friendly and we chatted for about 5 minutes. Now seeing her I would have thought she was a snob. I probably could have even talked to her friend and she would have been polite.

Then the other Tony I judge harsh when I told him about my backpain he said he was so sorry I was suffering and that he felt sad. He went through it too and felt sorry.

Then today on my way to the store I rested at the restaurant stoop. Most likely a attractive woman either an waitress or working there came up to me and asked if I was okay or wanted something. I said I was just resting.

Now these are just examples from the past two weeks.
i understand where you're coming from, i don't think whether someone's on the spectrum correlates with how judgmental someone can be. what's super funny is i do however go through the same thing only to find out people are way more complex than we think they are, first impressions are important but only when you take them into account with their personality. it's something i still need to work on too, but im glad your past few experiences with women and tony have been well :)
 

Au Naturel

Au Naturel
The best thing in life has been evolving from an INTJ to an INTP. Most of the judgments in the world are just our egos trying to convince us how bad everyone else is. Far too many shoulds and shouldn'ts and oughts in the world where the only reason we judge others harshly is to justify our own feelings or to place blame to make ourselves feel less responsible.

I think neurodiverse people in general are prone to being judgmental because it is easier than the more difficult task of looking within.
 

Crossbreed

Neur-D Missionary ☝️
V.I.P Member
Are people on the spectrum judgemental toward others?
I seem to be very judgemental especially towards couples and women. I often think couples are rubbing it in and girls that don't talk to me are stuck up snobs.
It is because you have tunnel vision.

You are only willing to love eligible women who show interest in you.
You are unwilling to love your brothers & sisters who cannot fill that role.
(And the shallow "love" that you offer won't last through hard times with a wife, either.)
 

Calrid

Member
Oh yeah we are judgemental, but I like to think not without reason, we are honest to the point of fault. Imagine if you will someone talked to you just because of you, stranger things have happened.
 

Tony Ramirez

Single guy treated badly with Asperger's Syndrome
If you think I was judgemental now you should have known me during my late teen years. I use to think everyone was against me. College was terrible because I had a thought that girls hated me there so I would literally run away even when they said hi to me.

I grew up a bit when I came to the Church but even then I felt resentment towards girls. I even possibly blew a couple of romantic twice.

Then when I left the Church I hated just about everything. When I came back I was happy but then I started to get jealous of couples. Again I thought girls who ignore me were mean and snobs. I am starting to learn it is not true.
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
We are HUMAN BEINGS lol so of course we are going to suffer the imperfections of being human and judgemental is sadly one of those.

I hate it in myself, due to having social anxiety and as soon as a stupid thought pops in my head about a person, I push it away, because I panic that they are also having stupid thoughts about me, which actually happens to be a fact. One person said to me once: it is such a shame people do not bother to get to know you, Suzanne, for you are a very intelligent woman!

I did pretty much what you describe to people who have been in my life and then, when taken courage and stated something, much to my surprise, that person said that they have never harboured bad thoughts; but respect for all that I go through.

Being honest with yourself, is a positive aspect, because then you can learn from your mistakes. So, you can start now to see that what you see is not actually what is being seen!
 

Progster

Grown sideways to the sun
V.I.P Member
Yes, it's a trait common to all human beings and I think that all people are judgemental to some extent - the real question is whether one realizes one is being judgemental or not and does something about it - your post shows awareness of that. I'm judgemental - people believe in things that I consider absurd, or whenever I see someone smoking, I think: cancer! but on an intellectual level I know that it's their business and responsibility and though I have a right to an opinion, I don't have the right to interfere.
 

Raggamuffin

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I yam very judgemental, usually veiled behind sarcasm or humour though. Mostly just internal. Really dependent on audience.

Ed
 

Owliet

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I think anyone can be judgmental Both NT and ASD, to claim otherwise is wishful thinking. However, I think one of the challenges for people with ASD , is the very rigid thinking that happens when the thought of something negative takes hold, leading to a very OTT form of judgment Because usually identifying x with something that does not always equal reasonable reactions. I do this, more often when I’m negatively thinking an usually triggered by something That leads to association.
 

Stuttermabolur

A psychologist said so
V.I.P Member
Personally, I'm the opposite. I'm not judgemental at all, and haven't really ever been. When I was a teen, one of the career paths I considered was becoming an attorney who defends people who had performed truly vile crimes, as I believed everyone deserved a fair hearing. I also know that I would feel incredibly hypocritical judging others for their faults when I have so many myself. I am very easygoing and rarely get angry, to the point my mother called me "little Buddha" when I was a child.​
 

Knower of nothing

Well-Known Member
I'm very proud of you and genuinely touched seeing this sort of realization. I hope you can remember these nice interactions just in case you ever find yourself falling back into old negative thought cycles.
 

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