1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Are aspies and auties boring people?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Mia, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,358
    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Karma:
    +12,180
    Over the years I've been called boring by people I know, and so has my spouse. And the first thought I had when it was said at the time was; Not if you could see inside my brain, you wouldn't even be able to follow the things I'm thinking about at the moment.

    One of the reasons I enjoy boring, is I don't like surprises, arguments, drama, the roller coaster of emotions that comes with living a regular life. Someone told me that not only am I boring, but canada as a country is boring:rolleyes:

    Find this amusing, and wonder if being boring is a reflection of others perceptions of a country and people who shovel snow four months out of the year. And because of the weather stay inside a lot.

    As an aspie/autie how do you think about your life?
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,996
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +4,705
    In my past I used to pray for boring and now that it is, I'm much happier. It's okay if others consider us boring, it's how you feel about yourself that matters. No, I don't want to sky dive or bungee jump. I don't want to go out to parties every night. I hate Vegas. So what! I like keeping a low profile and staying home mostly. Some would say I'm in a rut, but I like my rut. :) And I don't think Canada is boring - it's beautiful and you have moose. :)
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    237
    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2018
    Karma:
    +525
    We can be, and frequently are interesting. There may be an NT perception that we are boring. I think part of the problem is that we tend to not like changes and surprises. Our non-social nature probably doesn't help. Stability is nice, calming, and any needs for activity can be helped by simple stimming.

    I am also AD(no H)D, and the ADD need to explore and satisfy curiosity frequently comes into conflict with the autism need for stability. This has led to some interesting incident and adventures, and led to some good stories. Case in point, I think I have written before about my project in New Guinea:

    We were going to the survey site in the island taxi. Don't be impressed; the island taxi consisted of a 1950s farm tractor pulling a hay wagon with boards laid across for seats. Suddenly, the oldest (age 18) member of my crew, whom I had come to regard as the most stable, mature, and reliable, suddenly stood up, shouted "Beedeleedeloop!" and dove head first over the side into the jungle. Everyone started shouting "Eedeloop!" and followed him. So there I was, sitting there, alone, listening to my crew shouting and running around in the jungle, and I remember thinking to myself "Is there something going on around here I should be aware of?" I had no idea what beedeleedeloop meant. It could be "I am have a wonderful betel nut hallucination, everyone come join me." It could be "The mythical Eedeloop monster is coming, run for your lives!" He came back with a baby wild pig in his shirt. He wanted to capture it because he was planning to get married soon. Being able to put another pig on the table (figuratively or literally, I could never determine which) during negotiations could buy a more attractive wife.

    So, tell me, boring or not boring?
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,671
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +4,945
    I love boring and I'm British I don't think we are thought of as being very interesting
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    266
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +760
    I know I am the furthest thing from boring, but I can easily understand a person's view of my "moodiness". I have moments when I don't want to talk or listen to anybody, and I don't control those impulses. They are natural, along with my ability to be completely engaged in activities and events. My mood, when I am involved in my own head, can seem odd to people who know me to be more animated and spontaneous. The down time that I experience makes me somber and I can easily drift away from interaction. When I am in that state, I want peace and quiet. It is as if my patience for too much activity dries up. I can easily find certain conversations boring, so I lose interest quickly and seek to remove myself from the discussion. In essence, I can be like a pinball in social settings. When I am less interested in something than everyone else, I can appear to be quite boring - the downer among the frivolity. Whatever inspires me gets my attention, but I don't ever feel the need to be all things to all people. If someone calls you boring, it is probably because you are not being the person that want you to be at that moment - their entertainment. I know that my favorite interests and topics of conversation can seem very boring to some, simply because they don't share the same passion, or they don't know enough to maintain a discussion about the topic. I believe that some people see themselves as more interesting than they really are. It's dangerous to call someone "boring". It's the "people who live in glass houses..." story.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,164
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2017
    Karma:
    +9,352
    Often find myself mind is at 100 miles per hour
    Other people I call 'treacle people' as they can be so slow.
    Often find myself feeling soul sick after talking to them.

    I can be funny ,entertaining yet also boring -

    If someone asks me a question I forgot the rules and answer it enthusiastically.
    Like podcast I was listening to this morning about the birth of modern Japan. Fantastic.
    Boring to most - mostly all they are into is hearing tedious stuff about other people.
    I can't offer that.

    Least we have a mind,we can be lost to ourselves and each other defining our type of boring.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,376
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,866
    The people I’ve spoken with so far,
    Not really no.

    If I’m bored, it’s on me.

    My own lack of patience or interest in a subject being discussed at length and in great detail.
    Doesn’t follow that the person speaking is boring.

    I could be listening to a different person discussing a different subject at length and in great detail and may forget to breathe or swallow as I am probably so absorbed in the subject.

    I bore myself sometimes :D

    (I ought to be awarded some ‘honesty points’ for that reveal :) )



    Also, I’ve never lived in Canada, really couldn’t say whether or not I’d like it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,164
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2017
    Karma:
    +9,352
    Doesn't surprise me :)


    (You served that underarm)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

    Messages:
    4,196
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +8,032
    Mine has been viewed at both ends. Up to marriage I was always doing adventurous, somewhat dangerous things. But after marriage I was very much a stay at home type. So sometimes people view my lifestyle as boring. Those who get to know me a little however generally don't think that as I tend to pull the conversation into unusual directions. The result of our active Aspie minds I imagine.

    But a stable predictable life is not something to be disparaged. I've quoted it before and will again no doubt. 'Life is best when life is boring' (Sting, in one of his songs).
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,879
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,795
    If I had to guess I would suspect such social interactions probably more reflect a neurological divide than any involving nationality differences, let alone what might be perceived as "boring".

    Where you wanted to discuss something- anything in a more intense, pedantic manner while they want only to banter over benign, meaningless things in a cursory fashion. So poof! You're condemned as being "boring". Perhaps more of a defense mechanism than anything else. That they are left feeling lacking in something, because you have much more to say in substance, than they do in form.

    When in reality you are just being Neurodiverse, well educated and articulate all at the same time. Should you feel compelled to apologize for such things? Hellno. ;)
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  11. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,376
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,866
    :D :D

    You sir,
    stet guffed

    :)
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

    Messages:
    573
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2018
    Karma:
    +804
    I can be funny and entertaining when I want to be. But for years before my diagnosis I'd talk forever about my special interests an not notice or care that other people weren't interested. Of course, if *they* wanted to talk about their own interests I was supposed to act as if I cared about that. Only other people could lecture or scold me because they weren't interested in my encyclopedia-like knowledge of Disney cartoons or The Simpsons while I had to sit and pretend to be interested about politics or weather or whatever nonsense they had to say.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,747
    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Karma:
    +2,990
    I think it doesn't matter if other people think my life is boring, because they don't live it -- I do. What is and isn't boring is subjective.

    Even when it's not been fun/exciting/fulfilling, "boring" is not a word I would use to describe my life thus far.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,376
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,866
    As I’ve gotten older I’m preferring less of a fast paced, chaotic, stressful lifestyle.

    Don’t involve myself in as much drama and crisis.
    If I went out, I’m sure me and Mr Gracey would prefer a quiet pub to a nightclub.

    Being content with something doesn’t automatically make it boring.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  15. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,770
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +9,216
    I think that people find me boring, but it's not due to a lack of adventure, it's more that I have a monotone voice without much inflection, I don't do banter well and I'm not all smiley cheery. I often don't get people's jokes and am not fun enough. People who aren't fun/happy/smiley cheerful are automatically branded boring, no matter what they might know or what they have done in their lives. I also don't have much in common with most people, don't really have anything to talk about and I'm not good at making conversation. I'm also not well connected - don't know people and don't do gossip, which often forms the basis of people's conversation.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  16. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

    Messages:
    4,196
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +8,032
    On Canada I can't say too much, having never been there. Generally I have a favorable view, only marred by an negative attitude towards Americans one sometimes runs into in Canadians. It bothers me less now that everyone more or less has a negative attitude towards us. :D Exceptions being Poland, Israel, The Phillipines, South Korea and Vietnam (of all places).
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. JDShredds

    JDShredds Member

    Messages:
    65
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2018
    Karma:
    +166
    Let me start with this: You're not boring.

    As for me, I don't care if people find me boring, because I'm usually the one writing them off as boring. I find many, if not most NT's exceedingly boring, so take that as you will.

    Interesting people, to me, are the ones that find beauty in the simple things in life, and/or enjoy their interests with depth, passion and encyclopedic knowledge. Its hard to find an NT that appreciates small things like I do... whether its amusingly observing the way a cat is behaving in a moment, to the scent of the rain, to the unique formation of clouds you'll never see again... I always point these little things out, and most NT's gloss over. That makes them boring, dull, and uninteresting to me. Not to say NT's are boring as a whole, but there's definitely a pattern in my life where their lack of depth shows more often than not, and one of the ways that manifests is me finding them shallow and boring.

    If you can't entertain yourself with your own thoughts and observations like I can, I'm not sure I'm the boring one. ;)

    One other way where I can be perceived as boring is when I monologue about what I am interested in to an uninterested audience. But that doesn't make me a boring person; it just means they don't share the same interest as me. That's fine and normal. My best friend (also Aspie) has a tendency to monologue about the stock market (one of his special interests that I don't share, so I gloss over - actually I just tell him I don't care because I'm a frank Aspie - and he keeps going as an Aspie does, lol), but that doesn't make him boring. Its just not a shared interest.

    I've always felt my "sensors" are tuned dramatically higher than other people, which leads to a completely different preference with what I find enjoyable and interesting. I get so much joy and peace by sitting quietly on the porch and observing the birds and cats and the trees swaying in the wind. Is that boring?

    Anyway. None of you are boring in my opinion.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  18. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,618
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +2,785
    Being boring to others is something I've achieved!

    And that's really what they mean, that you're boring them. You're not entertaining them. You're failing to fill in some hole they tried to fill by seeking your company, and you've refused to fill it, failed to offer any sort of temporary high or distraction, and so you're boring.

    I am going to remain boring as long as I can, hopefully for the remainder of my life. :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  19. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

    Messages:
    652
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2018
    Karma:
    +517
    My parents told me that there is never a long period of time of anything being boring for an entire week. Mostly because I have a good (sometimes cringy) sense of humor. I'm almost 16, so some of what I say is cringy.

    So, I think I might just be an interesting person.
     
  20. onlything

    onlything Maybe one day V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    802
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2017
    Karma:
    +1,497
    It depends on the point of view, I suppose. I was called boring many times before as well, I was also called interesting and refreshing. So.

    Although, to me other people can be really boring, especially young people. It seems they are interested in few things, really - they like to party, to drink alcohol, they worry about realtionships and grades, they look for cheap thrills in things like drugs. To me, these things are boring, these little parts of forced dramas, of running after a little bit of adrenaline. It seems like people are so obsessed with 'boring' that they chase everything that would make it less so. It's like they fear it, fear a moment of silence where they start to think, really think about things. In fact, they seem to be perpetually bored. Everything is boring. They don't stop to think and appreciate what is around them, just run after the next little thrill to distract themselves. It's like they can't have fun any other way.

    These things are quite interesting in the beginning but how long can you keep doing the same thing - and yes, it's ironic coming from someone like me. Still, my interests were never like that. There was always something to explore, to create, something to uncover, a new bit of knowledge to get, a new world to imagine.

    Theoretically, clubs are different every night - new drinks to try, new people to meet, new memories to make... It may be exciting to someone who is highly interested in social activities and outings or who wants to numb themselves with alcohol and noise. It's not for me.

    But, as said, it's just my point of view and there are countless others.
     
    • Like Like x 2