Aspie men of a certain age, who grew up cared for by their mothers, will not think to do household tasks. It needs to be suggested that they do them. With specific detailed instructions. It's often better if it becomes a routine for them. Something they do all the time. You'll have to consider that it simply does not occur to some aspies to do things you want them to, without suggestions. And it literally has nothing to do with being unthinking. They almost never think of it in those terms.
It's likely that one of the reasons my husband married me, is because I have skills that he doesn't have, and he has skills that I don't have. Many of the things I do he can't do, and vice versa. So we compliment one another with our abilities.
Although my husband very often does things without my suggesting it. They are tasks that I don't do, so they don't occur to me. Things like keeping the car in good working order, making certain the furnace is functioning properly. Paying attention to the finances and bill paying on time. Fixing electronics, repairing things. And many more things that I don't do.
In fact it gives me a lot of freedom, to do things the way I want. I've seen couples in stores arguing over meals and types of food to buy. I don't have that problem, I decide what we eat and the way we live. And my husband agrees, he has other concerns. Whenever I ask him, he helps. You need to look at the positive side of this, rather than what he might lack in doing housework on his own. I was raised to pay attention to those things, and he was not.
I'm in a similar situation, but I do things around the house and also work, it's never enough though.. I don't really have any advice, maybe have a conversation and try to be coordial. Good luck.
