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Any lesbian aspies?

SunnyDay16

SunnyDay16

Well-Known Member
I'm aspie and lesbian. I've known ever since I was really young, but didn't know what to label my sexuality until much later.

I don't really consider myself "butch" or "femme". I'd say I'm more in the middle of those two extremes. I have medium-length hair, I wear women's clothes but mostly jeans and shirts, I have a mix of feminine and masculine interests, I sometimes wear makeup.

Being aspie as well as lesbian makes you part of a double minority. There just isn't many of us around. Both Asperger's and homosexuality make the dating pool a lot smaller.

Is anyone both aspie and gay? How long did you know? How accepting were the people around you?
 
There's quite a few gay people on here. I'm not gay myself but I've noticed quite a few gay women via their comments and a couple of fellas too.
I've never really thought about how being AS and gay might narrow the dating pool as you describe. Must be frustrating. It's difficult enough for hetero people so that extra layer of challenge... Makes you think outside your own little box.
 
I'm also an aspie and lesbian. I've heard a higher percentage of aspies are LGBT versus the general population. Dating is harder but I just met my first girlfriend a few months ago through an LGBT site and she is also an aspie. I was diagnosed ASD when I was 7 and figured out I was a lesbian when I was 16. I'm 25 now. I'm high functioning and my experience has been more people have been unsupportive of me being a lesbian than of my ASD, which to me was actually kind of surprising. Most of those who rejected me as a lesbian did so in the name of religion but I have also found religious people who are very accepting. But I've finally managed to find some online friends I talk to regularly, they aren't aspies but have mental illness so they try to understand. Some of them are LGBT so they get that too. I can't really go to them with big ASD issues but I have this forum for that.
 
It must be hard to find someone you can relate to especially in this more narrow pool, so many of us girls are undiagnosed for a multitude of reasons... From experience there are wonderful, accepting and understanding NTs out there too, it's just a matter of finding them, but I'm sure you're aware of that.

I'd personally classify myself as bi, I knew when I was 14 or so. It wasn't as common back then as it is now, I just fell madly in love with a girl at school and didn't really expect to. I didn't share it with anyone as it wasn't really as accepted, kept it to myself. At the same time, I didn't know I was on the spectrum until very recently... I'm not sure if this really answers your question, but I guess if anything it goes to show that there are many hidden aspie girls out there, so experiment, meet lots of people and you'll find someone kind and beautiful eventually, don't limit yourself just to an aspie dating pool <3 :)
 
I'm both! I knew both from around the same age, 14. I've never met someone not accept the gay thing, but my family doesn't accept the autism, they've always said stupid things like I just want attention or to 'just stop being weird'. Dating hasn't been a problem, except maybe I dated too much too fast and should have calmed down, which I've done now. If anything, it seems to have helped dating in some ways. They become over-protective and think most things I do are cute in some way. I'll never understand why, but I'm not complaining! :eek::D
 
I'm asexual and biromantic. This means I'm part of lesbian because I don't really care about gender. Anyway, it's hard for me to find anyone to be romantic with.
 
yup im lesbian . i guess ive known probably since the seventh grade bc i had a massive crush on my best friend but it took me forever to come out in my eyes. everyone was actually pretty accepting other than a few boys that wanted to date me but otherwise i havent really had any problems with it.
 
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