Anxiety?

[Ken]

I often claim to suffer anxiety from social things like being approached by someone or being watched, etc. Children induce anxiety to meltdown levels.

When I say I am experiencing anxiety, I usually get the question, “what are you afraid of?” or “what are you worried about?”, etc. The problem is that my anxiety is not of fear or worry or anything like that. I’m not afraid or worried about anything. But I guess I am experiencing a similar feeling to fear or worry, but its neither of those. The anxiety is nothing about the future; it’s in the moment real-time. However, it usually takes several days to recover.

Since the word anxiety doesn’t seem to properly define my feeling, I’m wondering if there is a better word?

Any thoughts or ideas?

 

[Richelle-H]

Hello Ken,

I know exactly what you are talking about, and it is anxiety, no doubt of that, but perhaps tension is a better word for in the moment. It exists as a tension between you and the world that is created by an inability to deal with the situation, be it noise, place, or groups of people.

As you say it is not worry or fear, it is a breakdown in your brain's ability to sort all the feelings that rise up and which have no safe place to go. I experience it as a short circuit in mental processing, as if you are being pulled in multiple directions at the same time, unable to choose.

I have found ways to hide it, but have been unsuccessful in eliminating it. I still take clonazepam when it becomes too much to handle on my own, albeit that happens less frequently than when I was in my 40s.

I don't know if tension works, but it certainly describes the state you can find yourself in. Maybe adding a modifier such as overwhelming, social, or both might make it clearer.

 

[Suzette]

@Richelle-H, your description " as a short circuit in mental processing," is the perfect description.

For myself I don't mind the label "anxiety". I have discovered that many of my friends have experienced something they call "anxiety" themselves. It is as common as depression. I have never been asked "what are you afraid of?", but if I am I will say:
"Oh, anxiety isn't fear. It is a short circut in information processing.".

 

[Au Naturel]

Anxiety is the fight or flight reaction when there's nothing to fight or flee from. It is fear-based and comes from the amygdala. Since there's nothing to be done for it, the adrenaline, cortisol, excess stomach acid, et al, turn into debilitating physical and psychological issues. Very difficult to "talk away" because the symptoms are physical; all from chemicals dumped into your body and it takes time to process all that out.

There are specific antianxiety meds but they are not easy to get here. Some people like to use them recreationally. A bout of hard, very physical exercise can help to clear the anxiety chemistry out.

If anxiety spikes high enough, you have a full-blown panic attack.

It is possible for it to have gone on long enough for it to be completely separated from why you originally felt that way.

I got used to supervisors sneaking up behind me at work hoping to catch me doing something wrong. And even though I usually wasn't, I knew they were trying to find something. (Of course, the sups did this to everyone.) So I learned to associate someone behind me with hostile intent. I've been retired for 3 years, there are no supervisors, and I still have to tamp that reaction down. A difficult habit to break.

You can learn why these things stimulate fear and then try to neutralize the emotional reaction. Not a quick result and may require some discomfort in the process. Once again I'd recommend some variety of psychology professional for help because doing this on your own without assistance is rough.

 

[Aspychata]

I describe it as overwhelmed. Like your brain will explode. But l don't suffer from this as when l was married. It's not anxiety but a different feeling.

 

[Ken]

Anxiety is the fight or flight reaction when there's nothing to fight or flee from. It is fear-based and comes from the amygdala. Since there's nothing to be done for it, the adrenaline, cortisol, excess stomach acid, et al, turn into debilitating physical and psychological issues. Very difficult to "talk away" because the symptoms are physical; all from chemicals dumped into your body and it takes time to process all that out.

I agree. I still feel "anxiety" is the best word, I was just hoping for a word that would communicate my feeling to someone who doesn't have anxiety issues. It seems most people have no concept for feeling anxiety without a "logical" reason.
I suspect that regardless of what word is used, if the person I'm trying to communicate to is unfamiliar with the feeling I'm trying to describe, then it will still be hard to convey what I'm feeling.

 

[Suzette]

I agree. I still feel "anxiety" is the best word, I was just hoping for a word that would communicate my feeling to someone who doesn't have anxiety issues. It seems most people have no concept for feeling anxiety without a "logical" reason.
I suspect that regardless of what word is used, if the person I'm trying to communicate to is unfamiliar with the feeling I'm trying to describe, then it will still be hard to convey what I'm feeling.

Keep it simple. "I am having a bad day" might be all an aquaitence needs. If you need to explain to coworkers or your boss you could be slightly more specific by saying "generalized anxiety". That should curtail the pesky "what are you afraid of" question.
Honestly though, for most people, it is just not their business. Feel free to ignore nosy, intrusive, questions! People can ask any question they like, but you do not have to answer.

For your friends, feel free to explain in whatever way makes the most sense to you.

 

[Au Naturel]

I agree. I still feel "anxiety" is the best word, I was just hoping for a word that would communicate my feeling to someone who doesn't have anxiety issues. It seems most people have no concept for feeling anxiety without a "logical" reason.
I suspect that regardless of what word is used, if the person I'm trying to communicate to is unfamiliar with the feeling I'm trying to describe, then it will still be hard to convey what I'm feeling.

Yeah. People who don't experience anxiety don't understand how it can short circuit your brain.

People who rarely have headaches don't have a clue about how a migraine can shut life down. "It's only a headache. Take some Excedrine and go away."

OTOH, when I try to explain the joy a special interest gives me, they don't understand that either.

It is the way of the world.

 

[watersprite]

I have the same experience @Ken - certain situations bypass my executive functioning and my amygdala do their thing.


Airports can do this. My family of origin, and crowds, and a few other things.
It takes a couple of days or more to settle, to have my energy back, if I’ve gone too far toward a meltdown. If there’s a meltdown then it takes about a week to get feeling better.

I had so much trouble a while back, that it impacted several important relationships quite negatively. I was blaned for not being able to conquer it. Which is a different subject and I am still angry about it.

There is an exercise which unplugs you so to speak, from the anxiety pathway when you feel it starting to “blow.” This can’t bring me back but it has excellent results as a prevention, used in good time.

5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety

 

[Au Naturel]

It used to be that I was almost bulletproof wrt anxiety As I get older I am more prone to it. Perhaps it is because an older person can't bounce back? I know that little injuries that I'd once get over quickly now seem to drag on for months. Living on a fixed income means a financial loss is forever.

I know that it still doesn't pay to worry over things you can't control but age makes you timid. And then the anxiety center of the brain gets better at overruling the thinking part. The only escape I have for it is to make my brain so busy there's no room for the anxiety. Not entertain the thoughts. Reject them and immediately move to something else as often as it takes. Over time, whatever was making me anxious loses its power. Once that happens I can see it for the small thing it really was.

Or I can break into my wife's Valium.

 

[Ken]

Yeah. People who don't experience anxiety don't understand how it can short circuit your brain.

People who rarely have headaches don't have a clue about how a migraine can shut life down. "It's only a headache. Take some Excedrine and go away."

OTOH, when I try to explain the joy a special interest gives me, they don't understand that either.

It is the way of the world.

Yep. My main interest was a "better" word for what I experience and call "anxiety". Thanks to your first response:

Anxiety is the fight or flight reaction when there's nothing to fight or flee from. It is fear-based and comes from the amygdala. Since there's nothing to be done for it, the adrenaline, cortisol, excess stomach acid, et al, turn into debilitating physical and psychological issues. Very difficult to "talk away" because the symptoms are physical; all from chemicals dumped into your body and it takes time to process all that out.

I have a better answer than I was seeking. Now I know that anxiety is the correct word, but your enlightenment about the amygdala and "cross wiring" is a bonus. That makes perfect sense to me since I already have other "cross wirings". Example, my hearing defect is neurological "cross wiring" in the brain. No surprise I would have others.
Thanks for that!

 

[Au Naturel]

Yep. My main interest was a "better" word for what I experience and call "anxiety". Thanks to your first response:

I have a better answer than I was seeking. Now I know that anxiety is the correct word, but your enlightenment about the amygdala and "cross wiring" is a bonus. That makes perfect sense to me since I already have other "cross wirings". Example, my hearing defect is neurological "cross wiring" in the brain. No surprise I would have others.
Thanks for that!

The amygdala is the most primitive part of the brain. Sometimes called the reptile brain because that's most of what a reptile has. That's where the fight or flight reflex resides, also fear, anger, lust. It has a very very long memory because survival lessons are really important. It interfaces with the rest of the brain and if it is sending out fear or some other powerful signal, the rest of the brain has a really hard time not letting it take over.

Here's an interesting book that talks about it.

Surviving Survival: The Art and Science of Resilience by Laurence Gonzales

 

[watersprite]

Can therapy actually permanently do anything about anxiety other than prescribing meds?

Probably not - in my humble opinion. Therapy is first a business and then a social activity, which like others depends on the chemistry (and finances) of the people involved.
We have a choice to learn how to be with ourselves. Some of us decide there is a need for meds, some to run or other forms of exercise, some manage it with mindfulness & breath work, some with self-medication, etc. Or a combination.
My opinion is stay away from stuff that creates extra problems, such as dependence and/or addiction.

Learn about the brain especially the amygdala & how there are ways to manage. It takes work but is do-able. Doing something moves us away from despair. Find your flavorite kind of movement.
Humans are hard-wired to move.
Sorry that got long.

 

[Suzette]

I mean if there is no way to actually alter your amygdala, and take all these anxiety inducing situations from the list of fight or flight scenarios, than i don't really see the point learning about the amygdala and doing all the therapy exercises. Medications build up tolerance and wont help you forever. Staying inside all day seems like the only real solution.

You can't alter the amygdala but you can learn how to identify when it is on over drive and learn to control your responses.

Imagine you live in a brutal world where your ability to identify danger fast is what saves your life. Your fight or flight response from the amygdala makes sense. You want to be warned and be ready, instantly, to take action.

We don't need that same level of being keyed up and ready to fight as our primitive ancestors did. But it still exists because you do still need that system to run away if we think we are about to be mugged or need to avoid sudden evenrs like wildfire or flash floods.

So you don't actually want to change your amygdala. But you can learn to temper your bodies over active fight or flight response in inappropriate scenarios. You can do it through therapy or through self help.

Therapists can not prescribe medications by the way. And even if a psychatrist wants to prescribe meds, you can refuse them.

 

[Au Naturel]

Ye

Can therapy actually permanently do anything about anxiety other than prescribing meds?

Yes, it can. There's no promise. You have to have a therapist who has a clue what is going on in your head and isn't just going down a checklist of, "Things to do and say."

Therapy isn't an overnight process. It can take months to years. The point of a therapist is to give you an objective point of view. Nobody is capable of objectively assessing what they are experiencing themselves. We think that our emotional and physical problems are caused by an external stimulus but the truth is always it is in how we react to the stimulus. Two people can experience exactly the same situation and one walks away stronger and the other falls apart. Most of the time when a powerful negative emotion takes control of your body and mind - or becomes obsessive - you've just your own ability to think honestly about it.

Being terrified by something also includes being terrified of not being terrified by something. This applies equally to anything you are frightened of or angry at or anxious about. Desensitization isn't a process a lot of people will undertake on their own. It does take some willing suspension of the client's ego to make therapy work. You have to concede that you are contributing to your own suffering. What you are doing now isn't working and that maybe someone else has a better approach.

A good therapist can teach you techniques that have worked with others to ride out and eventually mellow out the powerful negative emotions that plague us. Over time you learn how to keep your demons under control and the rest of you has a chance to shine.