• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Answers...

Storm Hess

Storm Hess

Permanent Spaceman
After 55 years, I’ve finally have some answers for all of the “why’s” that have been racing in my mind. Yesterday I received ‘official’ diagnosis that I am on the spectrum. I am both saddened and happy…mixed in with confusion. I’ve been told all of my life that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I’m ‘quirky’ , ‘unique’…after a meltdown was told, I “have a flare for the dramatic”. I’m actually glad they didn’t seek a doctors opinion, because back then, there weren’t any options for diagnosis or support. I have masked all my life due to fear of punishment from my parents and the thoughts of humiliation placed in my head by parents that didn’t have a clue. They did the best they could regarding the circumstances and I can’t fault them for answers they couldn’t find. This is life…we take our lumps, we get back up, dust ourselves off and move forward.

It's time to move forward.
 
This is not dissimilar to what I experienced, only it took me until age 64 to see the light. There was a clear feeling of moving from chaos to clarity. My life finally made sense!
 
When I first suspected at 59 and got diagnosed at 60, nothing really changed. Much of the past made sense, but the knowledge had little practical benefit. Then, I retired and had plenty of time to think, especially as I have more years behind me than ahead. I would notice those things that gave me a lot of anxiety or feelings of anger. I started to have meltdowns when situations reminded me of the social and sexual isolation as a young adult. They started interfering with life and relationships, so last year started CPT for that ancient social trauma.
 
Last edited:
Storm Hess said:
After 55 years, I’ve finally have some answers for all of the “why’s” that have been racing in my mind. Yesterday I received ‘official’ diagnosis that I am on the spectrum. I am both saddened and happy…mixed in with confusion. I’ve been told all of my life that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I’m ‘quirky’ , ‘unique’…after a meltdown was told, I “have a flare for the dramatic”. I’m actually glad they didn’t seek a doctors opinion, because back then, there weren’t any options for diagnosis or support. I have masked all my life due to fear of punishment from my parents and the thoughts of humiliation placed in my head by parents that didn’t have a clue. They did the best they could regarding the circumstances and I can’t fault them for answers they couldn’t find. This is life…we take our lumps, we get back up, dust ourselves off and move forward.

It's time to move forward.
Click to expand...

I find it interesting that some adults feel sadness with an ASD diagnosis. I felt relieved and happy that I have an answer,...and like you say,...time to move forward.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
I find it interesting that some adults feel sadness with an ASD diagnosis. I felt relieved and happy that I have an answer,...and like you say,...time to move forward.
Click to expand...
Sadness is from a wish to know of this decades ago...I don't have a sadness to being diagnosed...I'm happy that I now know.

Yes, tme to move forward.
 
Storm Hess said:
Sadness is from a wish to know of this decades ago...I don't have a sadness to being diagnosed...I'm happy that I now know.

Yes, tme to move forward.
Click to expand...

I empathize with what you mean by sadness for not knowing far sooner. I wasn't diagnosed until after my mom died and I wish she would have known about my diagnosis.
 
Ditto. At 54, now 65. A sudden dawning, "oh that's why I acted like that!". So yes, relief and sadness as mentioned. I struggled with friends and relatives not accepting or understanding it. I now have new friends and relatives (after divorce) who accept me as I am. That's life! Take care.
 
I see myself following in y’all’s footsteps, and they are leading me out a very dark and tangled forest of thorny branches and no discernible path. I am 41 and currently being dragged along the diagnostic process (grateful for supportive mental health workers, but I must take things slowly, it is my only way.) There is hope and fear and a terrible but invigorating confusion that I am determined to figure out piece by piece. It is wonderful to know that some of you have found peace, acceptance and understanding.
 
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago, but I didn’t believe it. I had a different view of autism then, primarily because my brother (a doctor) said that my therapist was full of s&@t. But as time went on, it all seemed to make perfect sense. And as many above have stated, I became graced with peace. I am not a bad person, just different. As the OP stated “It is time to move on.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom