At the urging of my (second) wife, I had a complete neuropsychological evaluation last fall at the age of 60, at which time I was diagnosed with ASD. I was not surprised.
I still don’t know if I wish I knew earlier in life. In the end I have had a pretty successful career -- with significant bumps along the way -- having pushed through the autistic aspects of my personality to get there. If anything, there are personality traits which have made me more effective. I might have been (even more) self-conscious along the way if I received a diagnosis at 20 when I was just getting started. I know in my heart there are ASD folks in my profession, but I have come to find that even in 2021 there is almost no recognition of and support for neurodiverse persons and very, very few who are out as autistic. This is in a profession which has become far more open minded about addressing mental health, substance abuse, and diversity issues.
I have one failed marriage and my second is a work in progress, though it has improved with my acceptance of my ASD diagnosis. My first marriage is really the only phase of my life where I regret not knowing. It also resulted in severe depression and ultimately hitting rock bottom before I got up and fixed my life.
I was fortunate growing up in that I had a large family with five younger brothers, so that fostered my socialization skills. I also had a keen interest in, and aptitude for, participating in sports, which is a meritocracy in and of itself furthering and diversifying my socialization capabilities. I heard someone say you can be autistic and still be extroverted. I do believe I have had extroverted periods in my life, particularly college. The issue is the hard work and energy that goes into establishing and maintaining friendships and relationships, things that come naturally to neurotypical folks.
My autism will not define me, even if it does explain things. I do feel as though after I retire, I would like to become an advocate for the neurotypical in my profession.
I still don’t know if I wish I knew earlier in life. In the end I have had a pretty successful career -- with significant bumps along the way -- having pushed through the autistic aspects of my personality to get there. If anything, there are personality traits which have made me more effective. I might have been (even more) self-conscious along the way if I received a diagnosis at 20 when I was just getting started. I know in my heart there are ASD folks in my profession, but I have come to find that even in 2021 there is almost no recognition of and support for neurodiverse persons and very, very few who are out as autistic. This is in a profession which has become far more open minded about addressing mental health, substance abuse, and diversity issues.
I have one failed marriage and my second is a work in progress, though it has improved with my acceptance of my ASD diagnosis. My first marriage is really the only phase of my life where I regret not knowing. It also resulted in severe depression and ultimately hitting rock bottom before I got up and fixed my life.
I was fortunate growing up in that I had a large family with five younger brothers, so that fostered my socialization skills. I also had a keen interest in, and aptitude for, participating in sports, which is a meritocracy in and of itself furthering and diversifying my socialization capabilities. I heard someone say you can be autistic and still be extroverted. I do believe I have had extroverted periods in my life, particularly college. The issue is the hard work and energy that goes into establishing and maintaining friendships and relationships, things that come naturally to neurotypical folks.
My autism will not define me, even if it does explain things. I do feel as though after I retire, I would like to become an advocate for the neurotypical in my profession.
