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Another new face appears!

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Amaranthine

New Member
Uh, yeah. Introductions and the stuff aren't my forte, but you can call me by any variation of my username. I'm a 26 year old Canadian woman. I'm currently self-diagnosed but trying to find a way to maneuver through the medical system while avoiding my family doc who has a decade long history of ignoring every concern that I've ever had.

About four years ago I discovered that women on the spectrum often get missed by the system and wind up misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which is something I was diagnosed with when I was twenty and doing very, very unwell after having my life uprooted for college. It never quite felt right, but I can understand how chronically unmanaged autism can seem that way - its kind of chaotic, being part of a world that doesn't feel meant for you. It's about a year and a half ago now, maybe two years, that I started looking seriously in to ASD and through research I discovered that everything about my entire existence just.... suddenly made sense in a way that it never had before.

Nowadays I've just... well, kind of accepted it. And I've become so much happier and healthier leaning in to who I am instead of fighting it. Less pretending to be someone I'm not, less fighting the need to fidget, and I've been able to offer myself a lot more grace when I struggle. Maybe I'm wrong, I won't pretend that the concept of self diagnosis is flawless, but I'm not hurting anyone and it's helped me somehow.

I'm mostly just here because I have no one around me who can relate to a lot of my experiences, and I'm hoping to be able to find others who can.
 
welcome to af.png
 
Hi and welcome @Amaranthine

welcome you the Forums - all of you that is - not just your face.
All of you, the good and not so good of your life and experiences. Do hang around a bit and get to know us and then feel free to jump in to a thread that catches you eye.
 
Amaranthine said:
Nowadays I've just... well, kind of accepted it. And I've become so much happier and healthier leaning in to who I am instead of fighting it. Less pretending to be someone I'm not, less fighting the need to fidget, and I've been able to offer myself a lot more grace when I struggle. Maybe I'm wrong, I won't pretend that the concept of self diagnosis is flawless, but I'm not hurting anyone and it's helped me somehow.

I'm mostly just here because I have no one around me who can relate to a lot of my experiences, and I'm hoping to be able to find others who can.
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I used to move my knee up and down while seated leaving the ball of my right foot on the floor. After years of harrasment from family and others I eventually quit. I don't generally dwell on a lot of things like that but when I do think about it pisses me off to no end that others didn't just mind their own business.

Self DX is fairly common on a lot of AS fora. I was 47 years old in early 2007 whn I read about Nikki Bacharach's suicide. Reading about her and high functioning autism made me realize why poring through the DSM 4 in previous years never got me anywhere. The only reason I even got a dx was because I could do it out of pocket and off record. Hopefully at some point you can get the dx if you need it. Welcome.
 
Another Canuck around these parts, I live in western Canada

I was self diagnosed for a few years before getting an official diagnosis two years ago
 
Welcome!

I'm glad you've found acceptance as that was something that really helped me in my journey, which like many others, is still an ongoing endeavor.

As for your challenges with your doctor - I understand there's a shortage of family doctors and it can be a challenge to find a new one, but have you considered looking for a new doctor or clinic if your current one isn't supportive? In my experience, newer doctors trained in the past decade or so tend to be more informed about and open to discussing mental health and AS concerns.
 
Welcome, from one ‘late’ Diagnosed female to another, self diagnoses is perfectly fine. After all you know you better than any specialist will ever know you. I spent most of my childhood and adult life wondering how other people knew things, and wondering why other people were so emotionally driven. I was self Diagnosed for a few years, following a few years of research and identifying (is there any other path for those of us who were not diagnosed in childhood?). Then finally went private, waiting list and saving up - for me the chance to talk with someone who was experienced provided lots of knowledge and insight and explanations, over and above the Self Diag.
 
Welcome @Amaranthine, you have found a great place to relax and be yourself. That is the key to life, accepting yourself for who you are and not letting others drag you down.

I was a very late diagnosis indeed (well into my forties). By that time, I had somewhat adapted to my differences and the diagnosis merely served to save a job at the time. It didn't change me one bit and I had not even heard of Asperger's Syndrome when I was urged to seek a formal diagnosis.

There are a great many here that are self-diagnosed. You are in very good company. May you find some comfort and maybe a little joy during your stay, however long that might be.
 
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