Another Lonely Holiday. Colouring, anyone?

[OkRad]

Hi. Well, it's another holiday alone. You would think I would get used to it, eh? I think the trauma of trying in the NT world makes this so hard, all those people who have hurt me having such a nice day.

Not a SINGLE acquaintance or "friend" even sent me a card or even so much as twiddled their fingers over a keyboard to send an email. And yes, I HAVE done that many times. Two years ago, it was about 25 cards I sent out and also emails. I got two rersponses. So last year, I did none because I got the picture. I wondered if anyone would remember me. No one.

So this year? F*ck it. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just wish to GOD I HAD NEVER TRIED because now it hurts more than ever.

So you all of you who know how I am feeling and are also alone: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, KOOL KWANZAA, SUPER SATURNALIA, and hugs to you though I cannot give them

Thank you guys for being here and being supportive. Now I am going to self soothe with some colouring books.

 

[toothless]

okrad,id have sent you a card if you had made it known you didnt get many,you have many years to come yet to make friends and get company at christmas so dont condemn yourself just yet to a life of no support at christmas.

i know it can be very hard for people because its when families get together and show love and care for each other,lots of autists dont have parents to go home to anymore or are estranged from their families and dont have any support, i think social clubs for people on the spectrum should put on christmas dinners for such autists so they can spend time together and get a christmas dinner like everyone else,i know day centres/ social clubs do this for elderly people,but people on the spectrum are socially isolated also,dare say more than elderly people as they often live in supported living or care home environments where they have shared lounges to go in.

 

[OkRad]

okrad,id have sent you a card if you had made it known you didnt get many,you have many years to come yet to make friends and get company at christmas so dont condemn yourself just yet to a life of no support at christmas.

i know it can be very hard for people because its when families get together and show love and care for each other,lots of autists dont have parents to go home to anymore or are estranged from their families and dont have any support, i think social clubs for people on the spectrum should put on christmas dinners for such autists so they can spend time together and get a christmas dinner like everyone else,i know day centres/ social clubs do this for elderly people,but people on the spectrum are socially isolated also,dare say more than elderly people as they often live in supported living or care home environments where they have shared lounges to go in.

Thank you, tooth. It is true that we are more isolated than even the elderly. And THAT is a great idea you have there. I would totally go to something like that. Maybe once I get plugged into services, I can find things like that.

I don't know how much longer I have . Seems our average age to die is 56! Gulp.

But I will consider that you sent me a card since you wanted to!! :-D Maybe next year I will send you one, too. Maybe Some good things will happen in 2017.....not holding my breath.........

 

[The Penguin]

I been use to it for so many years. I made a post about it in 2014 https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/the-holidays-alone.9957/

I know many people I speak to or post I have read this effects people a lot. It haven't been a big deal to me as I been living alone since I was 17, and I'm now 34. I did had Christmas with people for most of those years with the exception of the last 5 years. Pretty much all holidays periods have been alone for me lately.

Another reason I'm not complaining because I have an income this year and have access to food. Last year I almost became homeless.

Something I do have looking forward tomorrow is opening a gift I revived from my best friend last week.

I do hope you have a chance to have it with someone next year.

 

[ksheehan88]

Merry Christmas to you OKRad, I'm sorry that people are such assholes! <3

 

[toothless]

Thank you, tooth. It is true that we are more isolated than even the elderly. And THAT is a great idea you have there. I would totally go to something like that. Maybe once I get plugged into services, I can find things like that.

I don't know how much longer I have . Seems our average age to die is 56! Gulp.

But I will consider that you sent me a card since you wanted to!! :-D Maybe next year I will send you one, too. Maybe Some good things will happen in 2017.....not holding my breath.........

ill put across my idea to social services,okrad-im an advocate and activist so ive got a tiny bit of power [sort of] in there and have 'connections' [i bet i sound like the mafia ].

average age to die is 56? thats got to be a joke,i thought it was 60 something in the north and a bit more in the south where the standard of living is better [at least in the UK].
and you can count on a card next year!, perhaps you should put a shout out on the private autism groups on facebook to get meaningful cards from people with autism in similar situations or parents of kids with autism-we all know how isolating it is so no one thinks its weird to want to have cards from somebody and its not really about the card is it? its the fact you know someones thought about you, i know that emma who runs the major and awesome private aspierations and autieness group on facebook made an offshoot group for autists to get gift cards of any type from fellow autists/parents, im sure it was emma who did it [i cant be imagining it].

i think the only way is up from now for you okrad,youve been in the s**t so you can only experience some good, you need to find some support services,or even start a support group up if you felt confident enough,i nearly did it in manchester;its not as hard as you think but i found one called autism trafford which helps a lot of autists of all ages,personally never been though never have a driver on when its on.

 

[Suzanne]

If I was STILL celebrating this time of year, I would GLADLY and HAPPILY send my new aspie friend a card; because I would only ever send a card to someone I liked; never just because it looks good.

 

[midlife aspie]

Just remember whose birthday it is OkRad, and the love He has for you and all of us.

 

[Alcyon]

Maybe Some good things will happen in 2017.....not holding my breath.........

The same type of twist of fate that brought ill tidings your way in the form of the car accident might well bring something good...life is indeed strange.

In the meantime, happy Christmas, here's a card for you:

 

[OkRad]

The same type of twist of fate that brought ill tidings your way in the form of the car accident might well bring something good...life is indeed strange.

In the meantime, happy Christmas, here's a card for you:

That made me happy because they look so cold and it's all windy....... and it made me realize how warm and dry I am and how lucky I am to be warm and dry because a lot of people are not!!

The edges are also frayed which means it looks like an old fashioned card which makes it all the more interesting. Then again ,those do look like power lines, so maybe not "true" old. That poor lady-----how would she walk in the snow with all that attire? Again, I am so grateful not to have to wear that stuff these days!! But they do look like a cute family.

See, you sent a card to a person with autism....you know we study stuff

 

[Marmot]

If it makes you laugh to any degree: I got just a single card this year which I just opened before logging on & reading your thread, but alas, it was a glitter bomb card & I now have that friggen sparkly glitter on my hands and all over the carpet. -I think some even got on my shirt. I hate glitter cards !

 

[Suzanne]

Just remember whose birthday it is OkRad, and the love He has for you and all of us.

Just saying that today is not Jesus' birthday. The bible does not mention the date at all. No one actually knows the date.

 

[Streetwise]

Hi. Well, it's another holiday alone. You would think I would get used to it, eh? I think the trauma of trying in the NT world makes this so hard, all those people who have hurt me having such a nice day.

Not a SINGLE acquaintance or "friend" even sent me a card or even so much as twiddled their fingers over a keyboard to send an email. And yes, I HAVE done that many times. Two years ago, it was about 25 cards I sent out and also emails. I got two rersponses. So last year, I did none because I got the picture. I wondered if anyone would remember me. No one.

So this year? F*ck it. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just wish to GOD I HAD NEVER TRIED because now it hurts more than ever.

So you all of you who know how I am feeling and are also alone: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, KOOL KWANZAA, SUPER SATURNALIA, and hugs to you though I cannot give them

Thank you guys for being here and being supportive. Now I am going to self soothe with some colouring books.

Hello okrad
I know what you mean
I got cards but I'm surprised
I've never got more than a few
Can't believe noone messaged you
I always felt like I was going to explode on Christmas day relieved when it was over.
I'm alone now .
To anyone who is interested Jesus would have been born in October (sukkot) the Catholic church was trying to get worshippers of yule and Saturnalia interested so now its 25th December every year
Stopping

 

[OkRad]

If it makes you laugh to any degree: I got just a single card this year which I just opened before logging on & reading your thread, but alas, it was a glitter bomb card & I now have that friggen sparkly glitter on my hands and all over the carpet. -I think some even got on my shirt. I hate glitter cards !


View attachment 29844

I agree! I love to look at glitter. I even love the word "Glitter". It makes me feel all glittery and sparkly. But I hate the way it gets all over your hands and everywhere! But that is a beautiful glittery, sparkly card and I am glad you shared it!!!

 

[Kirsty]

It is true that we are more isolated than even the elderly.

Scary to think, but yes, so true. :-(

 

[Kirsty]

If it makes you laugh to any degree: I got just a single card this year which I just opened before logging on & reading your thread, but alas, it was a glitter bomb card & I now have that friggen sparkly glitter on my hands and all over the carpet. -I think some even got on my shirt. I hate glitter cards !


View attachment 29844

How annoying.

 

[EricD]

Hi. Well, it's another holiday alone. You would think I would get used to it, eh? I think the trauma of trying in the NT world makes this so hard, all those people who have hurt me having such a nice day.

Not a SINGLE acquaintance or "friend" even sent me a card or even so much as twiddled their fingers over a keyboard to send an email. And yes, I HAVE done that many times. Two years ago, it was about 25 cards I sent out and also emails. I got two rersponses. So last year, I did none because I got the picture. I wondered if anyone would remember me. No one.

So this year? F*ck it. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just wish to GOD I HAD NEVER TRIED because now it hurts more than ever.

So you all of you who know how I am feeling and are also alone: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, KOOL KWANZAA, SUPER SATURNALIA, and hugs to you though I cannot give them

Thank you guys for being here and being supportive. Now I am going to self soothe with some colouring books.

Merry Christmas from another lonely soul.

 

[garnetflower13]

I hear ya, OKRad! I no longer receive cards from anyone at all, nor phone calls; Nada, Zilch, nothing! I used to weep buckets about it, too. My own family, over the years, have stopped caring about me in any way whatsoever. The one cool thing about it all, is that I no longer have to worry about spending on cards and gifts because since they ignore me, I am perfectly relieved of the obligation of paying any attention to them! I tend to celebrate the Solstice more than Christmas anyway, so that's all good. My sole gestures towards the holiday has been watching old favorite Christmas movies, putting a homemade wreath on the door, and putting out some red and white candles (couldn't find any green ones.)

I am also just starting to recover from pneumonia, and narrowly escaped having to go into the hospital. So I am finding more to be content about this holiday season than I have ever been before!

 

[Irene Helrose]

Happy Holidays, OKRad! I'm am truly sorry to hear that some of you are spending them alone. I'd visit you if I could. You use coloring books to calm down? That is something I'd love to do, but I've felt that I'd be laughed at for doing something childish, so I never tried, though I'm drawn to it something dreadful. Maybe I should ignore all that and do it anyway...

 

[OkRad]

Happy Holidays, OKRad! I'm am truly sorry to hear that some of you are spending them alone. I'd visit you if I could. You use coloring books to calm down? That is something I'd love to do, but I've felt that I'd be laughed at for doing something childish, so I never tried, though I'm drawn to it something dreadful. Maybe I should ignore all that and do it anyway...

Irene: THank you!! And yes, indeed. Let me tell you, I do nothing but read and it's always really thick non-ficiton or history. So when I thought about colouring, I felt that, too, like "Is this too childish?"

Well, a lady - a dear friend somehow knew I needed something calming and gave me an adult colouring book and I, like you, had JUST been really drawn to it!! I had even been colouring in kids' books , and she did not know this, so I could hardly believe when she gave this to me!

It IS calming. It can take up a few hours without that feeling I get of electicity in my arms and legs when I try to focus. It is focusing and not focusing.

I have had a hard life and want to learn to live out what I am have left without always feeling I am not doing enough.

Let me know if you try adult colouring!! I would love to know if it helps you, too. I will post when I get done