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Annoying stereotype about ASD should go away

Oz67

Well-Known Member
There is a stereotype that people with Autism Spectrum Disorder can't lie and manipulate others, but is it true for people like me?

Some people told me that there is no way I can have a developmental disorder, just because I became good at socializing, lying and manipulating others and I am very intelligent. I got confused by what they said, because I have had a diagnosis of PDD-NOS and upgraded Autism Spectrum Disorder for a long time now.
 
Pathological NTs are more natural at it, but we can learn to (particularly if it is our special interest).
 
Pathological NTs are more natural at it, but we can learn to (particularly if it is our special interest).


(Looks left, glances right...deletes browser history, YouTube viewing history...backs out of the room slowly...hides!)

I love psychology, the science behind why people act and think as they do. The world spent my formative years telling me I was damaged or broken because of my neurotype type, so I did what I do best when faced with a puzzle, I reached for logic and started reading, listening, and watching anything that seemed relevant to how 'normal' people function and what defines 'normal' according to science.

I did actually just find a great series on YouTube just today. Really sound information, comprehensively and intelligently presented. A very good resource that takes an objective look at the sometimes hazy diagnostic borders of psychology.

 
I always used the old "That's not what really happened, but then again, it's your lie, so you can tell it anyway you want to" :p
 
I am not very adept at lying, but I can manipulate others to a certain degree by withholding information.
Agree. That's exactly my thing too. I've always been a terrible liar,...and the truth always comes out anyway,...so might as well own up to your mistakes first,...before someone complains about it. Always stay ahead of it,...it also takes the "wind out another's sails" when a co-worker comes in all "hot and ready" with an emotionally-charged complaint, and then the supervisor says, "Yes, I am already aware of it." Not that this happens a lot, but it certainly is effective.

As far as "manipulation",...I will withhold just enough information that others seek me out as a resource. I will answer their questions,...but just tell them what they need to know. If they want more information,...that's another question and another interaction,..."spoon feeding".
 
I have known plenty of manipulative and dishonest autistic people. Some of which I just mentioned in another thread that manipulated me financially.

Some autistic people are probably more adept at scamming and manipulating people, especially financially and in business situations, if they are some of the more intelligent ones.
 
Sometimes l think l should view everyone as a possible liar unless you prove me wrong. However, l don't hate people when they do lie, but try to see why they lied. Are they compulsive liars, are they afraid to say the truth, are they hiding something, are they afraid of confrontation? This is black and white thinking, no doubt. I don't like to lie, but if my life is in danger, l will lie.

Robber: give me the donut bag in your hand
Me: l don't see any donut bag, what are you talking about?
 
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I can't really concoct a decent lie (too many details to remember, it trips me up), and I'm pretty terrible at manipulating others, but even so, stereotypes kind of minimize the human element and I like to stay away from them for many other reasons, which I've probably mentioned elsewhere. It gets into scary territory, obviously.

With that said, some people have psychopathic traits and this isn't NT-dependent.
 
I reached for logic and started reading, listening, and watching anything that seemed relevant to how 'normal' people function and what defines 'normal' according to science.
Wow! Head exploding! And at 25 I thought that I was the only one who needed to do that in order to mature socially. It was so very hard to do, because then rarely anybody was diagnosed, and I thought I was all alone feeling damaged. I did it, though, and maturing socially was worth it, even if I still have problems in conversations.
 
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Trust me, y'all that think all auties are honest and trustworthy ought to work on this staff for a few weeks.
That would totally change your mind about it :emojiconfused:
 
I was dangerously manipulative back when I dated and didn't take medication. Now, I try to be as honest and straightforward as possible, which often takes great effort.
 
All stereotypes in general are annoying. But this one is so patently false it's not even worth fretting over.

Something every green-blooded autistic person should know.

Spock: "Is he making fun of me, Captain?"
Kirk: "Yes, Spock, I believe he is."
Spock: "I knew that."
Kirk: "Of course you did, Spock."
Bones: "In a pig's eye!"
 
I can lie, I'm just not very good at it and have done so in the past with disastrous consequences. I'm not a natural liar - my primary instinct is to tell the truth, though I know that there are some circumstances when telling a lie - a white lie - is acceptable and even expected. Now, rather than tell a direct lie, I'm more likely to stay silent (which speaks for itself) or withhold information. I'm not comfortable with direct lies.
 
There is a huge misnomber about us not being able to lie. Of course we can, IF WE ARE PUT ON THE SPOT.

Sadly, I am a very good liar, but when asked a direct question, I am compelled to tell the truth. Whereas those who THINK they know all about being on the spectrum, assume it is impossible for us to lie. But, there is a condition where one cannot lie and my mind refuses to remember what that condition is called. But, can remember that they are very happy and innocent people.
 
There is a huge misnomber about us not being able to lie. Of course we can, IF WE ARE PUT ON THE SPOT.

Sadly, I am a very good liar, but when asked a direct question, I am compelled to tell the truth. Whereas those who THINK they know all about being on the spectrum, assume it is impossible for us to lie. But, there is a condition where one cannot lie and my mind refuses to remember what that condition is called. But, can remember that they are very happy and innocent people.

Put on the spot can even mean, we just don't have an answer ready to roll, so we kick out whatever comes to mind, then later, when called on it as being a lie, we are likely to say yes, than -hey- l had no idea what to say, which makes us look like we have an IQ of 13. Its complicated. Sometimes we are trying to figure the appropriate response for an NT world.
 

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