1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Ann example

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Aspergers_Aspie, Aug 2, 2020.

  1. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    315
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Karma:
    +226
    Sometimes I avoid social situations in case I seem 'odd' or I accidently offend or accidently put someone else in a difficult situation, an example is this evening I was talking to someone I know in a bar, I said I'm surprised not more bars have temperature checks potentially not thinking,the bar man could have heard this I hope I didn't say the wrong thing
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  2. Statest16

    Statest16 Member

    Messages:
    83
    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2020
    Karma:
    +101
    Just tip the bartender well! He won't care what you say.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  3. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    315
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Karma:
    +226
    It is a valid point, I have tried maybe 8 pubs in Edinburgh maybe half I found do temperature checks
     
  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,495
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +9,546
    Everybody is obsessed with themselves. People aren't so worried about you.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    315
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Karma:
    +226
    Maybe an autism thing, but I find it hard to focus on a single voice in a bar, I misheard someone she said her name is Leslie I heard Liz, she asked bet you forgot my name if the bar wasn't busy I would have heard correctly, she doesn't realise
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    315
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Karma:
    +226
    I dwell on things and overthink over analysise
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  7. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,023
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2019
    Karma:
    +2,018
    @Fino nailed it. No one cares. While you’re sitting there stewing in anxiety and self-criticism, everyone else has moved on after about 1-5 seconds, if they even flagged your comment/behavior as odd or rude in the first place, which judging by your examples, they probably didn’t. You’re the one hyper-focusing on yourself; no one else is, believe me. They’re all thinking about themselves. Seriously, I embarass myself on a daily basis. Like today I went to World Market to buy Delirium Tremens and realized that I was wearing my shirt inside out. After precisely four seconds of feeling horrified about buying beer with my shirt on wrong, I started laughing and then just forgot all about it (until now). The people who saw me probably raised their eyebrows for about 10 seconds and then moved on with their lives. Whenever you feel embarrassed or think you said the wrong thing, just remember: nobody cares. You’re not going to die. Just laugh it off and move on. Stop torturing yourself.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    6,272
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +13,606
    Given these current times, I don't think your comment was particularly rude or strange, I don't see how that could have been the 'wrong thing.' It was a general comment, not anything personal against the barnan, one of the numerous similar comments that I'm sure he overhears on a daily basis, something that he will forget after 2 seconds. As others have pointed out, no one cares, everone is too busy thinking about themselves. So no point in worrying about it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  9. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,636
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Karma:
    +3,369
    Truest thing ever said. No one cares about your opinions and social gaffes even a fraction as much as you do, there too busy worrying about their own. That barman probably didn't even register your existence beyond giving you a drink and taking your money.

    That is the sort of thing a therapist can help you overcome.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  10. Aspergers_Aspie

    Aspergers_Aspie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    315
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Karma:
    +226
    Okay thanks I will try
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

    Messages:
    1,975
    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,680
    Oh so that was you eh? I was in that bar at the time, overheard your comment and I still haven't gotten over it.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  12. menander

    menander Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

    Messages:
    503
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2020
    Karma:
    +1,007
    I used to believe this. But when you are Aspie, goodness, people are so interested in you that they can't stop asking questions and will always snoop or worse, bully. People are so curious about autism or even someone they THINK may be autistic........

    That said, I do think, however,that bartenders have heard it all . That probably had no effect he is probably not even the owner. He may even agree.

    Where are you ? Bars are open in COVID?
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,456
    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2010
    Karma:
    +1,923
    Unless you're making a habit of drawing attention to yourself on purpose or by accident and frequently, nobody cares if you said the "wrong" thing. They may for a moment depending on what and/or how, but that's it. If you're in a pub/bar with enough in your tank, what you said usually becomes moot (the bartenders deal with that pretty often) so there's that as well. That's the good news.

    This is coming from someone who did a lot of anxiety fueled overthinking at one point (which is the bad news), but after that slowly discovered revelation a good chunk of my anxiety in public spaces vanished.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  14. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    4,382
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +7,998
    You belong to us here- the overthinker club. Sometimes stimming helps you circumvent endless thinking loops.

    At some point you just get tired of over- thinking. But this takes about 45 years to come about. Are you at the five year mark????
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
    • Funny Funny x 2