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Angry aspie hoping that an ex friend leaves me alone

LittleKnownBeat

No Gods or Kings, only Man - Andrew R
We're both Aspies.
Due to unacceptable behavior on his part :
* Annoying me about 'us' getting together as a couple. Constantly saying 'You don't know what's going to happen in the future'
* Sending me nude pictures of people and asking me my opinion.
* Not giving me space and or constantly messaging me
* Demanding that we be 'So open' with one another 'No secrets' should exist between us.
* If anything happens to me like within my day - he blames it on me. 'Well maybe it's just you?' Everything is 'just me', to him.
* Amongst other ridiculous behaviors that he considers to be 'within his nature and his right.

I told him "Listen, I dont want to talk to you anymore. Leave me alone!"
He hasn't though. As an aspie myself should I be even more specific about what I meant? A large part of me is angry that I have asked him something and he takes that as "I should bother her more". We are both sarcastic people but I have learned to hide my anger and sarcasm. Since male aspies can be more inclined to not reading cues well... should I just be specific and tell him the ins and outs of why he needs to leave me alone. I don't like surprises on social media, especially when its him under a different profile name. I'm utterly sick of this. Help please! I am overwhelmed deeply by what I feel is an attack against me and peace.
 
Yes. So far I have encountered 13 different usernames that he has created. We had our 'falling' out less than a month ago. He does the same with emails. He creates a new email account and sends an email about how we're adults and 'Naked bodies are just bodies - What's the big deal?' So I have had to change my email. There is obviously a disconnect. I don't want to hurt him but I do want to be left alone. I have somehow lost a friend but gained a creep stalker.
 
Agreed. You can NOT see him; it's not up to him, it's up to you.

Because at this point it's not a lack of social skills. He IS a creepy stalker.
 
Thanks for your replies guys. WereBear - words cannot describe just how much I needed to see a post like that. I was beginning to think that I was the bad friend. Thank you.
 
I've experienced this too and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. I can see that you're a beautiful lady and obviously he sees this too which is why he's so attached. I blocked my friend on everything even things that i merely suspected could be him and his friends so he couldn't contact me through them. The biggest thing is make sure you do not open contact with him through a reply ever, this cannot be broken. Through my strict policy of not entertaining his behaviour at all I have finally gotten rid of him. I also recreated accounts under obscure usernames that he wouldn't associate with me. The other thing you can do is file a report of cyberstalking against him. I hope it all works out for you because you don't deserve it :)
 
I've experienced this too and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. I can see that you're a beautiful lady and obviously he sees this too which is why he's so attached. I blocked my friend on everything even things that i merely suspected could be him and his friends so he couldn't contact me through them. The biggest thing is make sure you do not open contact with him through a reply ever, this cannot be broken. Through my strict policy of not entertaining his behaviour at all I have finally gotten rid of him. I also recreated accounts under obscure usernames that he wouldn't associate with me. The other thing you can do is file a report of cyberstalking against him. I hope it all works out for you because you don't deserve it :)


Thank you Emzical. Thats great advice. I will definetely be taking it and not allowing any form of contact to occur. Very grateful to you!
 
I'm sorry I've tried to reply twice but my computer won't allow it. I had typed a wholehearted paragraph but my main points are:
.You cannot reply to him ever
.He may tell you he's changed but he has done too much damage and you do not deserve it
. If possible block all social media accounts that you so much as merely suspect is him and his friends accounts so they can't track you either
. You could file a report for cyberstalking

And lastly you're very beautiful :) but that doesn't mean he can treat you like a possession

You're absolutely right - I'm not a possession. Also, thank you for the compliment. That's very kind of you to say.
 
The nude pictures bit is frightening, especially since you're obviously not into it. And the "maybe it's just you" comments seem more defective and aimed at making you go into your own head. Even another Aspie can become predator-like...

Don't feel any obligation because you share a diagnosis. Maybe take a weeks break from the site you've tried to block him on? Also, if his creating more accounts gets really scary, is there someone you can tell at home? I know it's hard to find people to confide in sometimes, and it's mean when NTs gossip about others. But your situations different. Keep safe!
 
A spurned suitor. However "no" still means "no"- in any language, let alone any neurological profile. There's no "free pass" for any Aspie over that situation either.

If you reside in the US, you might research your respective state's online stalking laws. If they exist, at the very least you can post a link for your stalker to see for himself. Let him see you're not kidding about such things.
 
The nude pictures bit is frightening, especially since you're obviously not into it. And the "maybe it's just you" comments seem more defective and aimed at making you go into your own head. Even another Aspie can become predator-like...

Don't feel any obligation because you share a diagnosis. Maybe take a weeks break from the site you've tried to block him on? Also, if his creating more accounts gets really scary, is there someone you can tell at home? I know it's hard to find people to confide in sometimes, and it's mean when NTs gossip about others. But your situations different. Keep safe!

Thank you Buzzerfly!. It dawned on me (after reading your response) that I hadn't told anyone except this forum. I've been hiding... so to speak. I will inform my roommate of everything happening. Thanks!
 
Wow. That is straight up predatory behavior. Even I'm squirming in my seat.

I'm not sure what to do about that; usually I'd apply a self-preservative operational strategy I spent some time developing and perfecting called "Behavior-Oriented Preemptive and Preventative Violence" (BOPPV) but maybe consider a restraining order? I'm not sure if restraining orders extend into cyberspace but they probably do, and if I'm not mistaken if you can meet a low burden of proof that you have good reason to get one it's free, quick, and easy for you.

I say restraining order because you do not owe him a single word of explanation whatsoever. You don't need to make any apologies or excuses for yourself at all. Nobody's social skills are that poor where they think this type of thing is perfectly acceptable.
 
That behaviour is too obsessive, attempting to contact through multiple accounts is the definition of cyber-stalking.

This situation is a good reminder of "things to not do" when interacting with others.

Sorry to hear of the challenges, even though it may be hard to let go of a pal/friend/etc. some times that is exactly what we have to do for preservation of self. Hopefully this individual will start to see the world from a different perspective.

I agree and support the advice of others in this thread, the only way this person will go away is if and only if you ignore them - they will see any response or contact as simply stepping right back into the way things were.

Be safe.
 
I heard just yesterday, that in the uk, there is a law that says this is a criminal offence, but of course, that is in the uk; not sure about other countries, but it is worth seeking advice, because this guy is outrageous and obviously obsessed with the human body and thus, disconected any emotional attachments.

You need to get out a warrant to warn him that if he keeps harrassing you, he will be arrested.
 
I just want to add... It's your right to have secrets and a private life. Don't let anyone take that away from you. If people try to continue to try to cross that boundary after you set it, it's a form of emotional abuse.
 
Wow, LittleKnownBeat, this is serious and I'm glad you felt comfortable to post because all the replies have put it in a proper and relevant perspective for you. I hope you are able to rid yourself of this creep asap. If he persists after ignoring/blocking please report him for as Laurizzle said:
It's your right to have secrets and a private life. Don't let anyone take that away from you. If people try to continue to try to cross that boundary after you set it, it's a form of emotional abuse.
He needs to know that this type of behavior is not acceptable and that there are consequences.
 

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