Analysis paralysis until death?

[Markness]

I don’t know what to do with myself. There are so many areas of life that I am told I should choose to put effort into and the amount is so daunting as well as over whelming. Am I just going to have this horrible case of analysis paralysis until I die?

 

[Thinx]

Can you list all the things you are told to put effort into, please, also who is telling you. Bear in mind also, at 34 you don't have to do things others recommend, but if we know what kind of stuff you are being asked to do, we may be able to help shorten the list a bit? Also, it's very emotional thinking to think you will always be stuck with this. It's very rational to post about it though, well done! What are the issues?

 

[Slime_Punk]

If someone is telling you to do something and you don't want to do it, that's really your call at the end of the day. If you can somehow figure out what you'd like to put effort into and what resonates with you, it might be easier to figure out future goals and which ones to prioritize. Not everything needs to be tackled at once, either.

 

[Aspychata]

We defintely can ruminate. If they had a job listing for that skill set, over-thinking, I would apply.

Maybe you are just dealing with anxiety which comes with it's evil cousin, Ruminate. Do you feel stressed out?

 

[Markness]

Can you list all the things you are told to put effort into, please, also who is telling you. Bear in mind also, at 34 you don't have to do things others recommend, but if we know what kind of stuff you are being asked to do, we may be able to help shorten the list a bit? Also, it's very emotional thinking to think you will always be stuck with this. It's very rational to post about it though, well done! What are the issues?

1. My physical health.

2. Education, especially in regards to getting a college degree for a full time job.

3. Volunteering.

4. Learning various skills.

5. “Snapping out of” depression.

6. Coming up with and setting plans and goals.

7. Practicing the guitar.

8. Improve my drawing ability.

9. Work on creative writing.

10. Work on my social skills, especially if I want a girlfriend.

 

[LadyS]

One way to look at it is that instead of thinking you have to work at everything all at once which is pretty daunting, just pick a couple things to start with. You might just find that working on one thing might lead you to work on all the other things without knowing it. (And reminder that you don't NEED to if you don't feel like it's important to YOU).

For example, the education thing is something that helps you concurrently work on social skills, setting goals, learning various skills, improve writing, etc. It kills a lot of birds with one stone and you don't even realize it. Instead of worrying about ticking each thing off one at a time, think about it as working on one thing can help attain the other goals naturally.

 

[UberScout]

a birb in han is worth two in bosh, fren OvO

 

[Sherlock77]

10 things?

That's asking a lot, agreed to just pick two of them, ask yourself which ones you think are most important (as challenging as that may be)

And take everything people tell you with a grain of salt - even if it's your best friend - it's merely their opinion... You know you the best

 

[Markness]

We defintely can ruminate. If they had a job listing for that skill set, over-thinking, I would apply.

Maybe you are just dealing with anxiety which comes with it's evil cousin, Ruminate. Do you feel stressed out?

I do. I feel like I need to get my life together because time is running out.

 

[Aspychata]

1. My physical health.

2. Education, especially in regards to getting a college degree for a full time job.

3. Volunteering.

4. Learning various skills.

5. “Snapping out of” depression.

6. Coming up with and setting plans and goals.

7. Practicing the guitar.

8. Improve my drawing ability.

9. Work on creative writing.

10. Work on my social skills, especially if I want a girlfriend.

I would feel bad if l had that huge list. First prioritize your list. Health is most important. So that should be considered everyday. Second- depression can't be snapped out of, so scratch that out. Number 6 can be pretty overwhelming, so maybe scale that back. Number 4 is redundant, you have various skills listed on your list. That reduces your list down to, college, girlfriend, guitar, creative writing, see- not so bad. Volunteer is great, but you only have so much time in a day. So you have to decide am l going to volunteer or take one college class at nite? Creative writing, you can go online, and look for creative writing sites to motivate you to write. If you practice guitar, it should be pleasurable, so you wouldn't need to view it as a to-do list. You would come home, and pick it up and do 20 mins at least every other day.

And that leaves us with the girlfriend which is really on the l wish list, not the to do list.

Try to use logic, it can help reduce stress. Another option is to do 2 things on your list everyday. So by the end of the week, you will feel productive. There are some days, nothing will get done, and other days, you may do 3 things. So lists are to guide us, not to shame us.

My friend used a vision board, she place pictures of things she wanted to achieve from old magazines. She went from almost committing sucide to owning a condo, having a job that pays okay, and being more centered. She has been to hell and back again.

So take a board, write my best friend on it with markers , then cut out a picture of a lady that you like. Maybe place a picture of a guitar on the board. Put a picture of books or whatever signifies creative writing. At the top, be sure to write, your name, and My Vision Board of what l see for myself. Some of us, including me are more vision orientated, so this is like a time for you to look at your board and meditate if you are staying on track of your goals. You can find a giant poster board at office supply store, even dollar stores sometimes have it.

 

[Markness]

One way to look at it is that instead of thinking you have to work at everything all at once which is pretty daunting, just pick a couple things to start with. You might just find that working on one thing might lead you to work on all the other things without knowing it. (And reminder that you don't NEED to if you don't feel like it's important to YOU).

For example, the education thing is something that helps you concurrently work on social skills, setting goals, learning various skills, improve writing, etc. It kills a lot of birds with one stone and you don't even realize it. Instead of worrying about ticking each thing off one at a time, think about it as working on one thing can help attain the other goals naturally.

My experiences with furthering my education have been disappointing and they haven’t done the things you’ve listed. I was still socially rejected and didn’t get any dates despite my best efforts. I didn’t learn any skills nor learn how to set goals and my writing is still poor.

 

[Shevek]

It is good to think ahead, hoping to avoid wasted effort, but if the data is insufficient, some semi-blind experiments are needed. One tie-breaker I sometimes use when the Yes and No columns come out the same is to flip a coin. Then, at the instant I see the result, I note if I feel happy or discouraged. If the latter, I disobey the coin.
People seem to try almost every possibility before recognizing that machines work best following one general design, and then to persist with it after conditions change. It is more important to be willing to try things than to get them right the first time.
I would be very cautious about going into debt. It is too much like slavery. Choosing between other areas of development is usually best guided by chance, just recognizing a current opportunity.

 

[Thinx]

How is your writing poor? I'm not seeing that at all. Your creative writing is great, your self expression here is great? So do you mean some academic writing style or something? Either way, don't do it if you don't want to. It's your call. Useful ideas from @Aspychata, do you think? Also, it's good to see you responding to points others have made. Like, when you responded to @LadyS , you were clear education wasn't working the way she hoped it might for you.

That enables you to realise it's not something that produces those useful effects for you. Partly that may be because, like me and varied others on the spectrum, you don't really get unstructured social communication, so others don't know what to make of that and also we fail to connect. A regular enjoyable meeting or group or class might help though?

 

[Markness]

How is your writing poor? I'm not seeing that at all. Your creative writing is great, your self expression here is great? So do you mean some academic writing style or something? Either way, don't do it if you don't want to. It's your call. Useful ideas from @Aspychata, do you think? Also, it's good to see you responding to points others have made. Like, when you responded to @LadyS , you were clear education wasn't working the way she hoped it might for you.

That enables you to realise it's not something that produces those useful effects for you. Partly that may be because, like me and varied others on the spectrum, you don't really get unstructured social communication, so others don't know what to make of that and also we fail to connect. A regular enjoyable meeting or group or class might help though?

I apparently keep making run on sentences and can’t write anything complex. I get writer’s block easily and responding to large posts is difficult for me.

Aspychata has good ideas. But how can I get around my poor executive functioning?

 

[Fino]

Physical health should be taken care of all along the way. That's a good priority to have.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry. I didn't realize that. My bad. My English teacher always explained that to become a better writer, you need write and read a lot. So perhaps pick some books at the library. Try to read a book every couple of weeks?

 

[Rodafina]

But how can I get around my poor executive functioning?

Just some ideas. Not suggesting you do every single one! The last thing you need is another long list of things to do. It’s just that you asked a very specific question and I found a very specific answer.

Also, I just learned that one of the things on your list actually improves executive functioning - playing music.

 

[Aspychata]

View attachment 84084

Just some ideas. Not suggesting you do every single one! The last thing you need is another long list of things to do. It’s just that you asked a very specific question and I found a very specific answer.

Also, I just learned that one of the things on your list actually improves executive functioning - playing music.

View attachment 84085

This is excellent. Thanks for posting. I love learning foreign languages. I have to use memory, syntex and then test daily. Thanks to the free language app Duolingo. Think this helps with those cobwebs that collect between my ears.

 

[Markness]

Sorry. I didn't realize that. My bad. My English teacher always explained that to become a better writer, you need write and read a lot. So perhaps pick some books at the library. Try to read a book every couple of weeks?

I like reading, especially when I can stay awake doing it. I actually have stacks of books I haven’t read yet. There’s one book I thought of buying or maybe just getting an ILL for it.

 

[Markness]