An issue I have with being in this research program

[HappynessMad]

I am reluctantly in this "Conversation Club" that is not even a club: it is a mandatory aspect of some support program at my college that I got myself in.

Apparently the topics and premises of the "Club" is to teach autistic adults social skills. My issue comes in the form of how I interact and my comfort levels with it.

First off, I have good social skills, nothing more or less. Second, I can welcome anyone to be my friend dependent on my interactions with them, autistic or not, but when it comes to "arranged" meetings like this Club, I feel pressured (although the coordinator says it is not the intention to feel pressured, the mandatory aspect makes me feel as such regardless). So far, it has been three meetings, and only two members of the club that have social skills, extroversion, and sort of fluent speech consist of me and a female member. Most others however, are a bit introverted, awkward, and kinda serve as a reminder of myself when I was a shy, stammering, young child when I was diagnosed with the spectrum who used to desire less time with other family or friends. Now I know that people are gonna say that I can serve as an example and model of being the "sophisticated, educated" person on spectrum and that is fair of course... I just think I will grow bored just to satisfy the mandatory aspects of some research. (This Club makes sense for research purposes but does not make sense for me as a person that can at least hold a convo for minutes)

Now, I understand that it is not inherently a bad thing for autistic people to have such symptoms, considering that I was also diagnosed and had those patterns at a younger age... but it does not affect me as much as it did. Anybody, autistic or not, could have these growths to work on.

The issue I think I have is feeling more relation to the people with less awkward, less stammering personalities (common in "neurotypicals" or people described with high functioning attributes) than those who exhibit as such (common in autistic people, regardless of what level but still). I can easily talk to the people with less struggles in the Club and have been since the first few meetings. But I had little time for the others.

What do you guys think? If I sound a bit harsh, I apologize.

 

[Mia]

If I were a member of such a mandatory social club, I would likely go and attempt to help other people who have less skills that I do.

Rather than consider it not helpful. You can develop teaching skills while doing so. And you might be able to understand yourself more by doing this. Look at it as an advantage, one that you will learn from. And one that you could write on your CV, when looking for a job. You can also develop leadership skills while interacting.

 

[HappynessMad]

If I were a member of such a mandatory social club, I would likely go and attempt to help other people who have less skills that I do.

Rather than consider it not helpful. You can develop teaching skills while doing so. And you might be able to understand yourself more by doing this. Look at it as an advantage, one that you will learn from. And one that you could write on your CV, when looking for a job. You can also develop leadership skills while interacting.

It takes tons of patience and maybe a bit more for me. I can understand where you are coming from though.

 

[Graphin]

A few years ago I was capable of having very much fluent conversations with only certain people but failed with strangers (well there were exceptions), some people thought I wasn't an introvert. That could be the case for them.
Now I can't hold actual conversation with anyone, progress!

 

[GadAbout]

I wonder what the parameters are of this "program" and how it can be "mandatory." Could you provide a little more background? And what would happen if you started skipping meetings?

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Well you're not obliged to like or enjoy the company of people just because you have the same diagnosis.

What does 'mandatory' mean in this case, will not attending effect your grades or get you chucked out of college? Or is it one of those things which are called mandatory but are completely unenforceable? If the latter, you could just not go. I do agree with Mia that it would be more beneficial to you to see it as an opportunity to help others or to improve other skills such as empathy, cooperation, patience, teaching etc.

 

[the_tortoise]

I would simply not go.

I cannot see the school being able to force you to go, you are not required to accept accommodations/disability services that you do not actually require. I have a very hard time believing it is truly mandatory.

Also if it is part of someone’s research and they have told you that you have no choice but to participate, that they have done so is unethical.