am i burnout, lazy, or depressed?

[madisen622]

i’ve lost all motivation to do anything, my hobbies i used to enjoy no longer bring me joy. i’ve mostly been rotting on my couch the past few days. i’ll go on social media or here but get bored/overwhelmed with it all and exit. ive noticed i dont get hungry anymore either, ill eat breakfast when my stomach is yelling at me but then that’s it. sometimes ill overindulge with candy when im not clearly hungry, like i did the other day. its either i dont eat at all or i scour the pantry.

i guess i can’t really tell what’s wrong with me?

i feel like im just falling apart. normally at times like this id turn to my mom or boyfriend but i have no reason to feel like this. i recently got a job and i have a roof over my head.

does anyone else feel like this? i can’t tell if im just being lazy or if im experiencing autistic burnout or im falling into depression again?

any advice helps, i know this is heavy to grasp so if you don’t feel like giving your opinion at least it felt like a good vent to type it all out. thanks for listening

 

[Tiffany Kate]

My guess would be.... if your baseline feeling is sad, or it's been lasting a long time with no change, maybe it's depression. If the baseline feeling is exhaustion, particularly if it's just happened reasonably suddenly, then burnout. I wouldn't go for lazy, because that's more "My place is a tip and I don't care, I'm happy doing nothing."

You say you recently got a job - could that have anything to do with it? Even if it's a nice job that you enjoy, just dealing with all the new stuff and new people could be exhausting (and if it's a job you enjoy and/or are glad to have, it may be more difficult to make the connection between that and burnout).

I'm dealing with a bit of it myself at the moment. January was pretty stressful for various reasons (not all bad), and I'm in a state of I don't even want to text you let alone talk to you. I can't deal with one more person right now. And if you ask me to do anything, however small, I think I'll cry. (And this is not good when part of your job is to be nice to people...) But weirdly, I sort of didn't connect my disinclination to communicate with people I actually quite like to the stress for quite a while.

 

[Zain]

Try the raw carnivore diet for a few months.

 

[blitzkrieg]

This sounds a lot like an episode of depression. Are you on any medication for depression already or is this a new or unmedicated issue?

 

[daniegirl6224]

i’ve lost all motivation to do anything, my hobbies i used to enjoy no longer bring me joy. i’ve mostly been rotting on my couch the past few days. i’ll go on social media or here but get bored/overwhelmed with it all and exit. ive noticed i dont get hungry anymore either, ill eat breakfast when my stomach is yelling at me but then that’s it. sometimes ill overindulge with candy when im not clearly hungry, like i did the other day. its either i dont eat at all or i scour the pantry.

i guess i can’t really tell what’s wrong with me?

i feel like im just falling apart. normally at times like this id turn to my mom or boyfriend but i have no reason to feel like this. i recently got a job and i have a roof over my head.

does anyone else feel like this? i can’t tell if im just being lazy or if im experiencing autistic burnout or im falling into depression again?

any advice helps, i know this is heavy to grasp so if you don’t feel like giving your opinion at least it felt like a good vent to type it all out. thanks for listening

Do you feel sadness & cry too?
Or is it moreso no motivation, no interest?
If you don’t feel sad, I’m betting it’s burnout.

 

[Neri]

Try the raw carnivore diet for a few months.

Why raw? Sounds a bit much. Even doing cooked carnivore is a lot to adjust. My oldest son is on carnivore. I did it with him while I was staying with him.

 

[Outdated]

does anyone else feel like this? i can’t tell if im just being lazy or if im experiencing autistic burnout or im falling into depression again?

Sounds more like burnout to me. For us burnout doesn't come from being overworked, it comes from overexposure to social/emotional stress. Getting a new job and having to learn how to get along with a whole heap of new people as well as pressure from your family to find a different job.... All these things add up and compound each other.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I think it is easy for people to decide that autists are depressed, when actually we are burned out.

You mentioned in another thread about your job and some tension in your family because they did not want you to take the new job. A new job (actually almost any job for us) all by itself causes a lot of stress. Then you have family tensions. Worry about the car, etc., etc.

When this happens to me, I need to sleep a lot. I need rest. And I need to be kind to myself and not tell myself I am lazy, or depressed or whatever. I am just an autist who is exhausted from all the extraordinary demands we face living in a world not made for us.

 

[Trophonius]

I don't know, maybe all of them?

 

[Cutesie]

I don't know, maybe all of them?

That's what I've felt like for half a year now. I lay in bed for so many hours. It's more than not being motivated to do things; getting up is hard.

For the first few months of this period, I was also dealing with wild mood swings - terrible bouts of anxiety and melancholy, mixed with something that I describe as euphoria but I don't know what it is.

Then I checked myself into a hospital and got meds. They almost completely eliminated my anxious and depressive thoughts, greatly reduced OCD and ADHD behaviors and helped my sleep dramatically.

Still, I can't get myself to do stuff. It's not like I have a job to force me to go. If I did, would I be able to manage it? I don't know. ADLs are hardly done. I usually love walking, and once I get going, I can walk for a while, but getting out of the house is hard.

It will still be weeks before I see a therapist, but I have very little expectation for anything positive to come from it when we do meet. Therapy hasn't done much for me. What do I think is needed? A serious evaluation, that will dig deep into my personality, so that the right kind of therapy for me can be discovered. I don't know how to go about having that done, though, and it's still true - even with the meds - that thinking about the process of treatment makes me feel anxious.

I'm sorry, @madisen622, for doing this in your thread. It burst out of me, and I'm just not in the mood of starting my own.

 

[daniegirl6224]

That's what I've felt like for half a year now. I lay in bed for so many hours. It's more than not being motivated to do things; getting up is hard.

For the first few months of this period, I was also dealing with wild mood swings - terrible bouts of anxiety and melancholy, mixed with something that I describe as euphoria but I don't know what it is.

Then I checked myself into a hospital and got meds. They almost completely eliminated my anxious and depressive thoughts, greatly reduced OCD and ADHD behaviors and helped my sleep dramatically.

Still, I can't get myself to do stuff. It's not like I have a job to force me to go. If I did, would I be able to manage it? I don't know. ADLs are hardly done. I usually love walking, and once I get going, I can walk for a while, but getting out of the house is hard.

It will still be weeks before I see a therapist, but I have very little expectation for anything positive to come from it when we do meet. Therapy hasn't done much for me. What do I think is needed? A serious evaluation, that will dig deep into my personality, so that the right kind of therapy for me can be discovered. I don't know how to go about having that done, though, and it's still true - even with the meds - that thinking about the process of treatment makes me feel anxious.

I'm sorry, @madisen622, for doing this in your thread. It burst out of me, and I'm just not in the mood of starting my own.

Feeling for you, I can relate a lot. May be burnout, may be trouble with executive dysfunction. Might be worth trying to find a therapist who specializes in autism if possible. I am so grateful I have found one & she is helping me with these very things. Sending you good thoughts

 

[Neri]

I have had extreme and chronic burnout and severe executive disfunction and depression at different and, sometimes, overlapping, times. They all have their own "flavours". Worth unpacking. A new job could indicate neural adjustments that involve some executive dysfunction while your neural/nervous system/ endocrine system "recalibrate" to adjust to the new neural demands. More sleep could help a lot, if possible.
Paricularly with any level of burnout, I have found it helps to be kind, non- judgemental and not pressurey to oneself. Riding it out and listening to what alleviates the stress and tiredness and feelings of apathy has helped me. Do you have a hobby, special interest or past time that you enjoy? Sometimes doing more of those things help, otherwise more sleep can be the simple answer, or more foods that can help feed and replenish your brain. Liatening to what feels right, what you are craving and honouring what your body wants to do will surely glean answers and solutions, in my experience, anyway.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Hi Madisen,

that will be a tough one to decide online.

Don't get too hung up on whether you feel "sad" or "tired" or "exhausted" or "angry" or others. In my experience with patients, that can vary. Some depressed people feel very sad and cry a lot. Others - and that's what I've heard more often - describe it as feeling empty, like not feeling anything at all, no sadness but also no joy. That might be extremely hard to differentiate from exhaustion.

I'd start with thinking how long you've been feeling this way.
If it's a few days, depression is unlikely - more likely would be a more acute reaction to all your new stress - you're overwhelmed and exhausted, but it's not pathological, and resting for a bit might help.
If it's weeks of even months, depression or burnout are more likely. I've been trying to disentangle those and I find it very hard. Maybe try to think whether there are things left which you enjoy, such as your (special) interests. If those things still bring you joy and recharge you, autistic burnout could be a bit more likely. Same if your autistic traits and behaviors - things you know about yourself - are getting more intense and amplified. For example, you might always have been noise-sensitive, but now, even putting down a fork sounds like an explosion. Or you have always needed your morning routine, but now even one tiny detail which didn't bother you before now very much bothers you.
On the contrary, in depression, you might feel generally numb and not care about things anymore.
Of course, it's very much possible to experience both things at the same time.

You say "im falling into depression again". So you've experienced depressive episodes in the past? If so, maybe compare how you're feeling now with how you've felt in the past.

 

[madisen622]

Try the raw carnivore diet for a few months.

i can’t tell if this is a joke or not?

 

[madisen622]

My guess would be.... if your baseline feeling is sad, or it's been lasting a long time with no change, maybe it's depression. If the baseline feeling is exhaustion, particularly if it's just happened reasonably suddenly, then burnout. I wouldn't go for lazy, because that's more "My place is a tip and I don't care, I'm happy doing nothing."

You say you recently got a job - could that have anything to do with it? Even if it's a nice job that you enjoy, just dealing with all the new stuff and new people could be exhausting (and if it's a job you enjoy and/or are glad to have, it may be more difficult to make the connection between that and burnout).

I'm dealing with a bit of it myself at the moment. January was pretty stressful for various reasons (not all bad), and I'm in a state of I don't even want to text you let alone talk to you. I can't deal with one more person right now. And if you ask me to do anything, however small, I think I'll cry. (And this is not good when part of your job is to be nice to people...) But weirdly, I sort of didn't connect my disinclination to communicate with people I actually quite like to the stress for quite a while.

thank you, i appreciate your input.
i think it’s hard because i was feeling both exhausted and sad at the same time if that makes sense?

i haven’t started the new job yet, i start this week so im not too sure. maybe it’s the change of it all?

im sorry to hear, i hope things are better for you now.
i completely understand where you’re coming from, sometimes communicating can just be exhausting.

 

[madisen622]

This sounds a lot like an episode of depression. Are you on any medication for depression already or is this a new or unmedicated issue?

thank you for your input, after careful consideration i believe it was a manic episode. i haven’t told anyone on here but this year i got diagnosed with manic depressive disorder.

i am taking depression medicine though, thank you for asking.

the reason i say it’s an episode is because now i feel so happy, like im on top of the world. i experience the WORST low low’s and high high’s.

 

[madisen622]

Do you feel sadness & cry too?
Or is it moreso no motivation, no interest?
If you don’t feel sad, I’m betting it’s burnout.

unfortunately i felt both at the time. i did cry for a long period of time, now i feel a lot better as if i could run a mile and binge shop. as i stated to someone else i think it was a manic episode. my moods go from low low’s to high high’s quite often.

 

[madisen622]

Sounds more like burnout to me. For us burnout doesn't come from being overworked, it comes from overexposure to social/emotional stress. Getting a new job and having to learn how to get along with a whole heap of new people as well as pressure from your family to find a different job.... All these things add up and compound each other.

how frustrating to feel, thank you. i don’t think i’ve experienced burnout in quite some time. i had a moment a few weeks ago where i had to call my boyfriend because i was in a dark spot but other than that burnout is newer to me.

 

[madisen622]

I think it is easy for people to decide that autists are depressed, when actually we are burned out.

You mentioned in another thread about your job and some tension in your family because they did not want you to take the new job. A new job (actually almost any job for us) all by itself causes a lot of stress. Then you have family tensions. Worry about the car, etc., etc.

When this happens to me, I need to sleep a lot. I need rest. And I need to be kind to myself and not tell myself I am lazy, or depressed or whatever. I am just an autist who is exhausted from all the extraordinary demands we face living in a world not made for us.

wow, thank you for this perspective.

now im not sure if i was having a manic episode or if it was truly burnout. maybe it was a little bit of both? i dont know if that’s possible but just a thought.

 

[madisen622]

That's what I've felt like for half a year now. I lay in bed for so many hours. It's more than not being motivated to do things; getting up is hard.

For the first few months of this period, I was also dealing with wild mood swings - terrible bouts of anxiety and melancholy, mixed with something that I describe as euphoria but I don't know what it is.

Then I checked myself into a hospital and got meds. They almost completely eliminated my anxious and depressive thoughts, greatly reduced OCD and ADHD behaviors and helped my sleep dramatically.

Still, I can't get myself to do stuff. It's not like I have a job to force me to go. If I did, would I be able to manage it? I don't know. ADLs are hardly done. I usually love walking, and once I get going, I can walk for a while, but getting out of the house is hard.

It will still be weeks before I see a therapist, but I have very little expectation for anything positive to come from it when we do meet. Therapy hasn't done much for me. What do I think is needed? A serious evaluation, that will dig deep into my personality, so that the right kind of therapy for me can be discovered. I don't know how to go about having that done, though, and it's still true - even with the meds - that thinking about the process of treatment makes me feel anxious.

I'm sorry, @madisen622, for doing this in your thread. It burst out of me, and I'm just not in the mood of starting my own.

never apologize for stating your own experiences and feelings, that’s what this forum is here for.

thank you for sharing your story. i hope you find a therapist to help combat your problems and work alongside you soon.