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Am i a fraud

All i can remember all my life is like ive blocked out reality just lived on benefits and never really built myself...just bed whenever...gaming etc...never stepped foot in work really and always super anxious never a man. Is this right to choose not to work
 

maycontainthunder

May also contain missing cakes.
V.I.P Member
Not working may not be a choice as such. I myself cannot cope in a work environment though I did go down the unemployment benefit route for a while I ended up being signed off as unfit for work. I'm now on disability. I haven't worked in 14 years.
 

AprilR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
No, lots of people don't work for many different reasons.

I work, but i am not really good at my job, not fast and capable enough. It is also exhausting to me. If you get financial aid, i don't see any reason to work
 
Its that i dont feel ive ever done right. To me working is so alien to me i dont feel ive done anything but have a free ride and its like a disconnect between realoty and how i am...i have a wife and child and when i look at myself. The thought of doing thinga day in and out makea me think ita all in my head. I am formally diagnosed but doibt even that as it worked into my do less narrative. i just see a bum. Im diagnosed but how do i tell whats a scrounger and whats autism
 
Not working may not be a choice as such. I myself cannot cope in a work environment though I did go down the unemployment benefit route for a while I ended up being signed off as unfit for work. I'm now on disability. I haven't worked in 14 years.
Are you able to come to terms with it...im struggling to understand how its ok to not work but be happy. Somewhere ive lost touch with reality
 

maycontainthunder

May also contain missing cakes.
V.I.P Member
Are you able to come to terms with it...im struggling to understand how its ok to not work but be happy. Somewhere ive lost touch with reality
I'm not the slightest bit bothered by it at all, I'm not in touch with reality either!

Much of the time is spent either on the computer or doing something hobby related. All you have to do is make sure that your mind is occupied with positive things along with your time.
 
I'm not the slightest bit bothered by it at all, I'm not in touch with reality either!

Much of the time is spent either on the computer or doing something hobby related. All you have to do is make sure that your mind is occupied with positive things along with your time.
Thats my issue i feel like doing so is wrong...like why should i not do what millions do
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
Millions in the US don't work because a lot of people bully and are rude to others just get their own clique of friends in the door. I really encountered this in Florida.

So l don't have any guilty feelings about not working. This one lady at my last job flipped out and accused me of dating her husband. Oh boy. Then l lost my job because l wouldn't sleep with the board member. But l gained great experience and have a lot of confidence that l didn't have before.
 

maycontainthunder

May also contain missing cakes.
V.I.P Member
Thats my issue i feel like doing so is wrong...like why should i not do what millions do
What works for millions doesn't work for all. While there are many on the spectrum that are working to vast numbers of them it is a nightmarish struggle.

The positives of not working;

1) no workplace bullying

2) no having to cover for a lazy coworker

And the most important of all especially if you have worked retail

3) not having to deal with the stupid elements of society all day long

All you have to do is concentrate on the elements that make you happy and, while you can't avoid all the negativity, minimise it.

Don't let thoughts of being a scrounger enter your head, you aren't. Not everyone can cope with work, this is a fact of life.
 

Neonatal RRT

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I think there are others in your situation. One part of me would ask, "If you are physically capable, why is it morally OK for others to work and support you?" You are a part of society,...contribute if you can. Another part of me does understand that in some situations, the world around us "disables" us, due to sensory issues, communication difficulties, etc. It's not that we can't do things,...it's the environment that is disabling. Now, if it is an anxiety issue,...there are ways to address this,...self-aware meditation exercises, therapies, and medications. If your "fight-or-flight" isn't under control and isn't down-regulating appropriately, then anxiety is the least of your worries,...it's a physical health risk,...high blood pressure, high glucose, cancers, immune dysfunction, etc.

Sometimes these things are a "mind over matter" exercise. Most neurotypical people would never put themselves through the daily stresses that I put myself through (insane amounts of work at a children's hospital, plus teaching on my "days off"),...but I have a high tolerance for discomfort compared to most. Having said that, all things in moderation,...I don't think my work environment is mentally or physically healthy for anyone, and probably wouldn't push someone else the way I push myself.
 
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For me i did volunteering for social enterprise. I dont think i was built for work...my responses to things have always been delayed and seem robotic...being at ease isnt happening . Im not overly stupid but cant maintain my thinking...always drifts. I try to keep calm but only manage a fews chores a day n feed child
 

Sherlock77

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
There are lots of medical reasons why people don't work (live on gov't disability payments)

One friend has very bad arthritis since he was young, tried working after graduating from high school (40 years ago) but just couldn't physically do it on a regular basis, I know he has had similar struggles but the biggest thing is finding a way to keep busy doing "something", "anything"

Another good friend is bi-polar, she hasn't worked for many years due to struggles with anxiety (gov't disability), she has been thinking of taking on some part time work now, but has also been active with volunteerism and is an artist active in those communities as well

Myself? I have always been able to work, I am HFA-1 diagnosis, I said it in another thread here recently that for me a 40 hour work week is a way for me to stay active with my time, in particular as a single person who lives on my own...

But from being on this forum I understand that we are all different in how we experience the work world

I have had some jobs I really enjoyed, some I enjoyed far less, but have literally fought through that, simply speaking I need to pay for the expenses of life... During Covid I had a time where I was unemployed for 17 months (with gov't income), and I struggled with motivation with too much free time on my hands, as strange as that sounds for some of you...

I might be able to claim gov't disability for my mild Autism, but I really don't want to, for one thing I will make more money from a job than on disability payments... And I have a strong work history over many years so probably wouldn't qualify anyway...
 

Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
All i can remember all my life is like ive blocked out reality just lived on benefits and never really built myself...just bed whenever...gaming etc...never stepped foot in work really and always super anxious never a man. Is this right to choose not to work
Probably so, if you buy into societal notions that you are what you are employed at.

I choose not abide by such a standard. Eff 'em. I've lived a life of lengthy employment as well as lengthy unemployment. But it doesn't reflect who and what I am in my own eyes. And in the end, that's all that matters.

What YOU think- not what THEY think. ;)
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
For me i did volunteering for social enterprise. I dont think i was built for work...my responses to things have always been delayed and seem robotic...being at ease isnt happening . Im not overly stupid but cant maintain my thinking...always drifts. I try to keep calm but only manage a fews chores a day n feed child
So have you gone in for assessment of ADHD? Because you stated your thinking always drifts.. My friend had a difficult time staying focused on tasks. She would start to clean a room, but get distracted and couldn't finish the task. When l talked to her, l would say your main focus is your job and house ,(villa). Everything else is secondary, except for your health. She actually told me she listened to me and bought a house. I told her, you can't depend on a boyfriend, you need to take care of yourself. Ritalin is expensive and never seem to work, so she found more natural things to take.
 
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MildredHubble

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Just my thoughts on this...

Try not to internalise other people's opinions about working or not working. You shouldn't feel bad about not working if it is something you genuinely struggle with.

Bare this in mind...

I worked damn hard for years and besides the stress, I have likely caused some injuries to my body and deal with a lot of pain. But here's the thing, there were lots of people "working" who spent most of their time hiding out of view texting and playing Candy Crush all day and took home the same pay as I did. There are plenty of people who are employed and don't work, who will be the first to attack people on benefits.

You don't have to justify your status to anyone. In fact it's very likely you already did justify it to someone who agreed you should receive support so you don't need to work.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My older brother lost his job due to a mental disability thirties years ago he was a brilliant computer programmer,
could not get a job for years I watched him desperately search for a position, he was a real follower of Ann Rand, not being able to take care of himself financially really ate at him. When he died a few years ago I could not locate his degree Electronics engineering, or his trophies for best math and physics in grade thirteen. I guess he chucked them when he turned 65, I guess he assumed they were worth nothing anymore to me they were family heirlooms.
He died from a brain bleed, he really wanted to contribute to society. a colleague of his phoned me one day and told me how he single Handly put together their compiler program for a project his company was working on I believe it was the Canada arm for the international space station, That is his legacy.
 

Crossbreed

Neur-D Missionary ☝️
V.I.P Member
@weazelbeast, I enjoyed working in STEM fields,* but no one would hire me or keep me outside of a seller's-market economy. (Even getting my employer a patent did not help.) That is why I pursued disability. Even on disability, I worked on a paper route (above-board), 2006-2020.** It was a source of exercise (10-mile trike ride) and helped with house repair money. Our current governor shut down contract work and that was the end of that.

*I was not fast enough in the manual labor jobs that I tried. I was not too proud to do them, just not competitive outside of my element.
**I had good reviews, too.
 

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