Almost non-existant IRL social life

[4gottenLoreKali]

Ever since I transferred colleges I'd like to think my life has improved dramatically. I'm more motivated with my academics, I'm consistently doing a lot of "adult" tasks expected of someone my age, I'm beginning to manage my finances, I'm starting a work-study job soon, and I feel much more confident in general. I had anxiety about how I'd perform independently for a long time and now I feel like I've been proven wrong in the best possible way. And there's no reason for me to think that next semester (which begins in a few days) won't go even better. But one problem from the bad old days remains to some extent: I'm very lonely a lot of the time.

This is completely aside from my internet social life, which is fairly decent and comprises a couple good friends I've never met but often talk to online and sometimes play video games with. I seek to get the most out of my college experience and I feel like I'm not doing all I can in the one category that seems to produce the best memories for people. Granted, the social scene on campus leaves a little to be desired. I tied joining a club I had my eyes on last semester but it met when I had class. There are shops and restaurants all around but no nightclubs or events or concert venues. I don't get out much to begin with but I try to go out to a show every now and then if a band I like is playing somewhere in the area. The nearest city is usually a stop on most bands' tours but I don't have a car so it would be tricky to coordinate transportation. I've made about three or four friends since I transferred but they don't talk to me much. They never text first and if I text them I feel like I'm bothering them and lose interest. The kids on my floor seem to not totally hate me which is promising and we've played Cards Against Humanity together one night which was glorious. But when I get back to my dorm room (which was a single for all but the first three weeks of the semester) I feel desolate and cold, longing for genuine human interaction with someone who isn't just a family member. I hope to combat this loneliness by making at least one close IRL friend on-campus, preferably one who'll go out to shows with me. Attending concerts alone always sucks, but more importantly, so does not having someone I can talk to and actually "hang out" with.

I'm aware that a lack of friends is a problem that many aspies can relate to. Some like it that way and I don't blame them. Often times I try to avoid IRL social interactions whenever possible because of the shame I feel over my social ineptitude and my inability to manage it. Even with the last friend I hung out with I couldn't help but sense that he thought hanging out with me was an obligation and not legitimate fun, almost like my aspie-ness was making our friendship a chore for him. How do I attract an IRL friend with common interests? How do I not make a complete ass of myself and scare him or her away? How do I present myself in a way that makes them genuinely like me? I would greatly appreciate any advice from people who have more experience in this area than myself so I can put it to use and really make my college years worth it while they're here. Thank you.

 

[Judge]

My college years weren't much different. The one thing that I did appreciate though was when I lived in a college dorm for a year, I found most people around me were refreshingly open-minded and friendly...without so much of the prejudice I encountered all the way back to the fifth grade.

If the people around you appear open minded, maybe that's an invitation to just be yourself rather than mask your traits and behaviors. They may not care...just taking you as they are.

But there's also another side to this equation. Socialization isn't everything. And social distractions can be problematic if at the expense of studying. As much as I appreciated more friendly people in my orbit, I also began to realize how much more difficult college got in my third year.

My fourth year? Zero socialization and focus on class...which continued to get more complex. It was the right decision, despite the occasional loneliness.

 

[korbin]

I understand the problem but haven't really found a solution to the problem. I'm lucky if I go out with a friend once a month or so.

 

[Suzanne]

I too, like virtually all on here, found similar issues you relate to when I was your age, but did not know I was an aspie and so, could not, for the life of me, figure out what I was missing out on. I seem to be able to "make" a potential friend, but could not hold onto that friendship and as soon as another female came along, I was forgotten.

Experiences in life has taught me a few things and one of them is the awareness that if someone never texts me, then I flipping well will not text them, unless it is a very important thing I need to get in touch with them on. To me: non texting is proof that there is not a friendship there.

I have got to the point in my life that I do not care about not having friends. But I am married and since I was 21 and so, in one respects, at least I am not unloved or unliked, although we actually do not spend that much time together ( he is the wage earner) and he is an nt and so we cannot have wonderful conversations.

Anyway, what it seems to me, you are missing is a romantic interest; you want someone to show you affection and love, which is certainly fair enough.

You could try doing a bit of research to see if there are any other aspies nearby?

I met a chap not long ago and although he does not say, both my husband and I felt he is also an aspie. He avoided my eyes a lot and I did the same thing and also, when he talks it is rather rushed; just like when I talk and has anxiety issues etc etc, but overall, get a sense of: you are not an nt and we got on great! He even gave me a hug lol

 

[LinBot]

My university years were like that, minus the 3 or 4 friends and card game, I also don't drive and never will.

College is a great place for someone with Asperger's to thrive, revel in it! The key is to go to "interest groups", chess club if it's your thing, or study groups are a great place to shine and make friends. Play up your strengths; that big brain of yours will attract those that deserve your attention. Be content with a small handful of good friends vs attempts to befriend everyone in your area....which I've tried for most of my life, failed miserably, then gave up and made a couple amazing friends the moment I stopped trying so hard to impress others, and just let the Asperger's hang out instead of putting it in the back pocket to have a few moments of hollow and fake admiration from people I don't know or care about lol

Ever since I transferred colleges I'd like to think my life has improved dramatically. I'm more motivated with my academics, I'm consistently doing a lot of "adult" tasks expected of someone my age, I'm beginning to manage my finances, I'm starting a work-study job soon, and I feel much more confident in general. I had anxiety about how I'd perform independently for a long time and now I feel like I've been proven wrong in the best possible way. And there's no reason for me to think that next semester (which begins in a few days) won't go even better. But one problem from the bad old days remains to some extent: I'm very lonely a lot of the time..."

This is completely aside from my internet social life, which is fairly decent and comprises a couple good friends I've never met but often talk to online and sometimes play video games with. I seek to get the most out of my college experience and I feel like I'm not doing all I can in the one category that seems to produce the best memories for people. Granted, the social scene on campus leaves a little to be desired. I tied joining a club I had my eyes on last semester but it met when I had class. There are shops and restaurants all around but no nightclubs or events or concert venues. I don't get out much to begin with but I try to go out to a show every now and then if a band I like is playing somewhere in the area. The nearest city is usually a stop on most bands' tours but I don't have a car so it would be tricky to coordinate transportation. I've made about three or four friends since I transferred but they don't talk to me much. They never text first and if I text them I feel like I'm bothering them and lose interest. The kids on my floor seem to not totally hate me which is promising and we've played Cards Against Humanity together one night which was glorious. But when I get back to my dorm room (which was a single for all but the first three weeks of the semester) I feel
I'm aware that a lack of friends is a problem that many aspies can relate to. Some like it that way and I don't blame them. Often times I try to avoid IRL social interactions whenever possible because of the shame I feel over my social ineptitude and my inability to manage it. Even with the last friend I hung out with I couldn't help but sense that he thought hanging out with me was an obligation and not legitimate fun, almost like my aspie-ness was making our friendship a chore for him. How do I attract an IRL friend with common interests? How do I not make a complete ass of myself and scare him or her away? How do I present myself in a way that makes them genuinely like me? I would greatly appreciate any advice from people who have more experience in this area than myself so I can put it to use and really make my college years worth it while they're here. Thank you.

Ever since I transferred colleges I'd like to think my life has improved dramatically. I'm more motivated with my academics, I'm consistently doing a lot of "adult" tasks expected of someone my age, I'm beginning to manage my finances, I'm starting a work-study job soon, and I feel much more confident in general. I had anxiety about how I'd perform independently for a long time and now I feel like I've been proven wrong in the best possible way. And there's no reason for me to think that next semester (which begins in a few days) won't go even better. But one problem from the bad old days remains to some extent: I'm very lonely a lot of the time.

This is completely aside from my internet social life, which is fairly decent and comprises a couple good friends I've never met but often talk to online and sometimes play video games with. I seek to get the most out of my college experience and I feel like I'm not doing all I can in the one category that seems to produce the best memories for people. Granted, the social scene on campus leaves a little to be desired. I tied joining a club I had my eyes on last semester but it met when I had class. There are shops and restaurants all around but no nightclubs or events or concert venues. I don't get out much to begin with but I try to go out to a show every now and then if a band I like is playing somewhere in the area. The nearest city is usually a stop on most bands' tours but I don't have a car so it would be tricky to coordinate transportation. I've made about three or four friends since I transferred but they don't talk to me much. They never text first and if I text them I feel like I'm bothering them and lose interest. The kids on my floor seem to not totally hate me which is promising and we've played Cards Against Humanity together one night which was glorious. But when I get back to my dorm room (which was a single for all but the first three weeks of the semester) I feel desolate and cold, longing for genuine human interaction with someone who isn't just a family member. I hope to combat this loneliness by making at least one close IRL friend on-campus, preferably one who'll go out to shows with me. Attending concerts alone always sucks, but more importantly, so does not having someone I can talk to and actually "hang out" with.

I'm aware that a lack of friends is a problem that many aspies can relate to. Some like it that way and I don't blame them. Often times I try to avoid IRL social interactions whenever possible because of the shame I feel over my social ineptitude and my inability to manage it. Even with the last friend I hung out with I couldn't help but sense that he thought hanging out with me was an obligation and not legitimate fun, almost like my aspie-ness was making our friendship a chore for him. How do I attract an IRL friend with common interests? How do I not make a complete ass of myself and scare him or her away? How do I present myself in a way that makes them genuinely like me? I would greatly appreciate any advice from people who have more experience in this area than myself so I can put it to use and really make my college years worth it while they're here. Thank you.

I would greatly appreciate any advice from people who have more experience in this area than myself so I can put it to use and really make my college years worth it while they're here. Thank you.

 

[Darthsuhtek]

@OP
I wish I cared to make friends at that age, so at least you got that going for you.

 

[Reedstorm17]

I think the best thing to do is be yourself. I almost feel more lonely when I try to be social than when no one's around, because it feels like I'm faking who I really am.

 

[toothless]

Baphocletian have you digged deep on the internet to see if there were any offline aspie support/social groups in your area?
i go to a support group once a month for people who are LGBT and intellectually disabled [i have mild intellectual disability],and once every two weeks to a craft/disco/chillout social club for people with intellectual disability,i have what i categorise as good friends in both groups despite being LFA,i dont contact them as none of them are online but i chillout with them at both groups and we go out to the gay village in manchester [im ftm trans,and nonsexual,not gay].

 

[NLD?]

Ever since I transferred colleges I'd like to think my life has improved dramatically. I'm more motivated with my academics, I'm consistently doing a lot of "adult" tasks expected of someone my age, I'm beginning to manage my finances, I'm starting a work-study job soon, and I feel much more confident in general. I had anxiety about how I'd perform independently for a long time and now I feel like I've been proven wrong in the best possible way. And there's no reason for me to think that next semester (which begins in a few days) won't go even better. But one problem from the bad old days remains to some extent: I'm very lonely a lot of the time.

This is completely aside from my internet social life, which is fairly decent and comprises a couple good friends I've never met but often talk to online and sometimes play video games with. I seek to get the most out of my college experience and I feel like I'm not doing all I can in the one category that seems to produce the best memories for people. Granted, the social scene on campus leaves a little to be desired. I tied joining a club I had my eyes on last semester but it met when I had class. There are shops and restaurants all around but no nightclubs or events or concert venues. I don't get out much to begin with but I try to go out to a show every now and then if a band I like is playing somewhere in the area. The nearest city is usually a stop on most bands' tours but I don't have a car so it would be tricky to coordinate transportation. I've made about three or four friends since I transferred but they don't talk to me much. They never text first and if I text them I feel like I'm bothering them and lose interest. The kids on my floor seem to not totally hate me which is promising and we've played Cards Against Humanity together one night which was glorious. But when I get back to my dorm room (which was a single for all but the first three weeks of the semester) I feel desolate and cold, longing for genuine human interaction with someone who isn't just a family member. I hope to combat this loneliness by making at least one close IRL friend on-campus, preferably one who'll go out to shows with me. Attending concerts alone always sucks, but more importantly, so does not having someone I can talk to and actually "hang out" with.

I'm aware that a lack of friends is a problem that many aspies can relate to. Some like it that way and I don't blame them. Often times I try to avoid IRL social interactions whenever possible because of the shame I feel over my social ineptitude and my inability to manage it. Even with the last friend I hung out with I couldn't help but sense that he thought hanging out with me was an obligation and not legitimate fun, almost like my aspie-ness was making our friendship a chore for him. How do I attract an IRL friend with common interests? How do I not make a complete ass of myself and scare him or her away? How do I present myself in a way that makes them genuinely like me? I would greatly appreciate any advice from people who have more experience in this area than myself so I can put it to use and really make my college years worth it while they're here. Thank you.

While I totally relate to your lack of social life, I don't in terms of where you are in life, because the last time I DID have a truly good social life was in college.

I started late at 19 and graduated later at 24, but now I am 36.

For me, school was always the way I made and maintained friends. Whether grade school, high school or college, it was a place I could meet people who would just simply "be there" no matter what and if I liked them we'd end up friends.

But since graduating college over 12 years ago my social circle has all but dissapeared.

I am not the sort of person who finds it easy to reach out to others, especially those who don't reach out for me, which is most of the people I have been friends with in my life.

If I just happen to be in a person's presence I can interact fine socially, but it's "getting in their presence" that has been the problem since school ended.

I went to graduate school, but it didn't have the same social atmosphere of college and I didn't really make friends.

And since then (about 8 years since getting my Masters in English) it has only gotten worse.

After college ended there was only one friendship from college (also someone I went to highschool with) that I maintained for about 6 years or so till he moved to the other side of the country.

He said he'd visit, but every christmas or summer it was the summer story "oh I can't make it this time".

He'd barely ever return phone calls or texts I'd leave him once he had moved and NEVER contacted me unless I REALLY tried HARD over and over to contact him.

I finally got angry and left him some not so nice texts and messages telling him how I felt, and that was the last I heard from him.

I've left multiple texts and messages appologizing saying I was wrong and just wanted to talk on the phone for a minute or even one SMALL text reply...but I've settled on the fact that the person I spent almost every day for 5 years of college and 2 years of highschool with, is, in fact, an asshole and I just never knew it, so if I'm dead to him he's dead to me.

I mean not totally, I still text him happy birthday, merry christmas or happy new year, and since his birthday is November, that means I texted him 3 times in 3 months...but no response.

Every other friend from college and highschool or earlier in my life moved around the country or world, and only a couple even remain facebook friends who have emailed me a couple times over the years.

Only one agreed to hang out with me, and we probably eventually will, but he lives in NYC and I don't like big cities, but I'll eventually get over that and visit him I think.

I do martial arts and have a connection to some people there, but I'm injured now and so haven't been training, and really, I only have one truly good friend there.

I basically have one friend left, and others who exist "in theory" who I "could" meet up with if I was willing to drive many hours to other states or fly to see them, but again, those are problems of mine:

I've never ONCE flown on a plane by myself and not gonna lie, traveling alone (not fear of flying, just going new places myself) is kind of an anxiety of mine.

I'm the sort of person who needs other people to REALLY reach out for me, to be extroverts to my introverted nature, to maintain the friendships, and none of them have either been of a mind to do it, or simply not cared enough.

It's quite depressing to have a good circle of friends your whole life, from like even age 5 up through age 24 and then very suddenly just "lose them all"...but alas, it happened.

Now people are married and/or with children, some aren't, but consumed with jobs and living in places many hours away I won't drive to, and haven't spoken to in years, and every passing year the emotional distance increases.

People at my age are SUPPOSED to make friends at work, but I've struggled with work due to my issues, and though I have a part time job, I have not made friends there either.

I've gotten so used to be alone that sometimes I don't even feel lonely anymore.

I was always good at being alone and entertaining myself, but just last night I was longing for those college years.

I'm not someone who needs a huge social circle either: I'd be fine with just TWO good friends I could see on a monthly basis, hell, even ONE person who I was good friends with and could really trust and connect with who I could see like twice a month would be great.

But I'm so confused with trying to figure out how to get a career being almost 40 and not really having one, relying on family for money, feeling depressed all the time, it's more than I can really figure out right now.

So social life just takes a back burner while I try to figure out how I'll even survive on my own in the coming years as I get older.

Yeah, this was a very depressing post, sorry about that guys haha.

But as someone with something SIMILAR but not identical to Apspergers (Non Verbal Learning Disability, Depression, Social and Generalized Anxiety Disorders) I think you can relate to this.

I just need a place where enough people will be to go to, and then make a friend or two in a situation where we naturally see eachother.

But since college ended, I lack all context for that.

So I'd advice you college people to take advantage of what you have while you have it: make connections with people, take the initiative to contact THEM first, and once you graduate, be on high alert not to let those friends "get away".

If they move, make sure to get their numbers and/or emails and REGULARLY message them, but really, that's not good enough for me.

I'd more strongly suggest, if your friend moves 3 hours away after you graduate, IMMEDIATELY visit him and see what it's like where he lives.

After that, going back to see him/her won't feel so unusual and it won't become a phone/email/text relationship...because for me, "friendships" maintained ONLY via the internet, phone, text very quickly become nothing at all.

Maybe some people make them work, but I can't seem to.

If you want to continue to see your friends in the flesh, visit them as quickly as possible after they move, and then the idea of seeing them a second and 3rd time won't be some "unknown fear" like it is with me.

Now I have people I haven't seen in over a decade living in states and countries I've never been to and many I haven't spoken to in years.

Such is the loneliness of the "internet age" because IMO, "virtual friendships" are just not good enough.

I'll be alright, but these are important things to remember, and if you ever make a new friend, don't be overly clingy, but try not to go so long without speaking to them or seeing them.

 

[GHA]

Baphocletian, I shared your post with my Aspie son 34 years old a business graduate and a double masters. He could not pull along with Executive Functions and therefore left his job with United Nation. He is pursuing Art as his carrier. He says; I discovered myself after formal diagnosis. He beleives that he is more talented than Neurotypicals. He thinks that being an AS is a blessing, its only a matter of finding your strengths. Frds? he does not care and says; I will only make frds I can relate with. My best friend is my art.

 

[Bolletje]

One of the few things that helped me make friends around that age was joining the redaction of my faculty's monthly magazine. During my first year I tried to make friends by applying for pretty much every social committee and getting rejected, even though I tried really hard. Ditto for trying to make friends by going to social events by myself.

In my second year I applied to the magazine because that actually sounded like something I could be good at and would enjoy. The good thing about this was that we got together every two weeks for a short meeting in the evenings and in between we had the time to work on our own articles or lay-out. I was terrified of going at first but had the good luck to make a few friends in the process.

 

[GHA]

 

[4gottenLoreKali]

Hey guys, thanks for all the responses. I really appreciate them. Only now am I just beginning to comb through all the posts and already I'm seeing some solid advice. I hope I have an opportunity to put some of it to use soon.

there's also another side to this equation. Socialization isn't everything. And social distractions can be problematic if at the expense of studying. As much as I appreciated more friendly people in my orbit, I also began to realize how much more difficult college got in my third year.

My fourth year? Zero socialization and focus on class...which continued to get more complex. It was the right decision, despite the occasional loneliness.

I can respect that. I can't let my hypothetical social life get in the way of my very real ambitions. Grind over all is what I say, and given the choice between good grades and a thriving social life I'd choose the former option in a split-second. But I'm not asking to be the toast of the town mind you. I never was much of a social butterfly to begin with nor do I really have any desire to be. Just one or two good friends to hang out with and take me out to concerts from time to time. That would be more than sufficient for me. Isolation isn't exactly conducive to maintaining confidence.

I understand the problem but haven't really found a solution to the problem. I'm lucky if I go out with a friend once a month or so.

Hah, I'm lucky if I can hang out with a friend five times a year. Hang in there brother.

Anyway, what it seems to me, you are missing is a romantic interest; you want someone to show you affection and love, which is certainly fair enough.

I'm not sure where you got that but your assumption would be correct; the most recent of two girlfriends I've ever had in my whole life broke up with me about three years ago. My 21st birthday is coming up and I'm still a virgin. Given my disgusting visage and horrific social ineptitude it's no wonder why that's the case. I did manage to get the number of this one cute girl who was in my French class last semester, but she's extremely shy and recently emigrated from China so she (understandably) doesn't feel too confident in social interactions, least of all with me. I haven't really had the will to pursue the whole romance thing for a while though, with how invested I am in my personal goals at the moment it's just not a priority. Having so much devotion of time and energy to someone just isn't feasible right now, as much as I'd like for it to happen. I've come to terms with that fact.

But you telling me about your marriage is really wonderful and it kind of reassures me that there really is someone for everyone. Maybe someone will come along one day that likes me for my aspie self. Until then I'll just keep making progress in my own life and hope for the best. I know damn well how disastrous actually pursuing a relationship can be, so I can't afford to siphon any more of my soul into that.

You could try doing a bit of research to see if there are any other aspies nearby?

I like this idea but I'm not sure where I'd start. I have an OKCupid profile but I hardly ever use the site and have no interest in a relationship at this time. Like I said before, the social scene on campus is stale as jailhouse saltines and there are no "hangout spots" in town to speak of - even the mall is probably the most desolate and barren mall I've ever shopped at. Some of the students I see around campus do kind of give off that "aspie" vibe but I don't think I'd be able to have a valuable friendship with any of them.

It's funny you should mention that, because shortly after the beginning of last semester I attended the library's game night with hopes that I'd get a better feel for the college's social scene. It was a disaster. I'd be willing to bet that of the five people who showed up a majority of them were aspies, but I didn't resonate with them at all. One of them wore a My Little Pony t-shirt and repeatedly called out to passers-by and invited them to join in. I ultimately excused myself for the evening and headed back to my dorm two hours before game night was over.

The one person I have befriended on campus who shares interests with me is a neurotypical as far as I know, or at least is good at playing the part.

The key is to go to "interest groups", chess club if it's your thing, or study groups are a great place to shine and make friends. Play up your strengths; that big brain of yours will attract those that deserve your attention.

I've scoured the list of clubs and student organizations on the university's website and found a few that have sparked my interest. Unfortunately the directory of clubs is so poorly formatted that many entries don't list the time and location of the clubs' meetings. I'll have to ask around campus, because I know clubs are an ideal opportunity to meet new people so I can't afford to miss out on that.

I think the best thing to do is be yourself. I almost feel more lonely when I try to be social than when no one's around, because it feels like I'm faking who I really am.

While I appreciate the sentiment often times my experience has been the exact opposite. I have no other choice but to "fake" being a competent, functioning human being to even get by in most social situations, and a lot of days I fail miserably at that. Obviously I don't blindly follow trends or "suck up" to people, but I do make a concerted effort to present myself in a manner that helps people at least tolerate me, so I "meet them half way" by attempting to abide by my understanding of the myriad social norms and discuss things that are relevant to them.

have you digged deep on the internet to see if there were any offline aspie support/social groups in your area?

I suppose I could try but this neck of the woods doesn't seem like the kind of place that would have them. I'd love the concept of it and want to at least try going out to one but I'm unsure about how my experience would be.

For me, school was always the way I made and maintained friends. Whether grade school, high school or college, it was a place I could meet people who would just simply "be there" no matter what and if I liked them we'd end up friends. But since graduating college over 12 years ago my social circle has all but dissapeared.

I feel the same way about high school. I made a couple of solid friendships from that era that have basically lapsed due to lack of keeping in touch or me making proposals to hang out that never really materialized. One reason why it's easier to maintain these relationships when you're young is you're seeing these people on a consistent basis in school. As people grow into adults they inevitably pursue their own ambitions and take different paths, and thus maintaining contact is no longer a priority to them. It's a shame, but it's human nature. I suppose this does make the belated reunion with old friends all the better though.

Such is the loneliness of the "internet age" because IMO, "virtual friendships" are just not good enough.

Yeah definitely. I've never met my internet friends but I get along with some of them better than any IRL friend I have currently. It sucks they live so far away because I'd love to hang out with them. My dad is the drummer in a hardcore band that's playing a major national concert festival this May and one of my friends in New York said he'd try to attend, but just my luck: his car broke down recently and he had to buy a new one.

Frds? he does not care and says; I will only make frds I can relate with. My best friend is my art.

I can really relate to your son in that a lot of people are utter scum and I have no desire to be around them, and substituting these interactions with creative passions is something I try to do as well. But it seems like my needs are different from his; from what I can tell he's content to be alone for extended periods of time and I just am not. The fact of the matter is I need some kind of human interaction and sense of solidarity in order to keep me from feeling unloved. Like I said before, I'm not asking to be the most popular guy in the world; I honestly would hate that sort of thing and would probably buckle under the pressure. But just a couple of buddies to take me out places and keep me sane is all the social life I need.

One of the few things that helped me make friends around that age was joining the redaction of my faculty's monthly magazine.

I do have a passion for writing and have considered joining up with the school newspaper or submitting to the literary magazine in the past. I guess it would be nice to have the same approach toward social events that my grandmother has toward her real estate business. Always keep planting seeds, and don't get discouraged by one screw-up when you could be working on the next deal. I sometimes sat in on her license course at her behest and she would tell that to her students, and while selling condos is probably the job I'm least suited for out of any in the world, that piece of advice seems to have stuck with me.

 

[Adder1234]

I know how you feel, I've never been to a party or any social event like that. I rarely even leave the house these days. I only enjoy being social if my best friend is with me. I'm up for anything as long as he's going. One time we went on an impromptu road trip and came back at 3am the next day. That's all the social life I need.

 

[Aster]

I second the remark about an aspie group. I have started to attend one and feel it's a easier way of making acquaintances as everyone already has something big in common. And there's no pressure to talk really in my experience. Even if no friends that carry on outside the group are made, it's a great way to recharge your social battery for the month with minimal stress.

 

[GHA]

I honestly would hate that sort of thing and would probably buckle under the pressure. But just a couple of buddies to take me out places and keep me sane is all the social life I need.

I can fully understand. I look after my son and guess? I am his best buddy. Have introduced him to number of Artist, who are aware of his challenges. He communicates with them regularly. Frds? I dont think he has any. He keeps himself busy with his work so that loneliness does not creep in.
BTW, after he lost his job at UN, I asked him to live with me and pursue his art passion.I dont think he will ever have frds. He has to learn to keep himself busy with his passion.

 

[paloftoon]

Your university probably has clubs/organizations you can join. www.meetup.com has interest groups you could join as well. These are good avenues to try to develop a quality social life!