All I know about women I learned from romance novels and Austin Powers.

[Wulven]

Yeah. I know that's not real relationships being portrayed. This threads kinda a rant and for fun. Still healing up from previous event. So kinda bear with me.

Far as my relationship with women are concerned. I would probably only have one if she parachutes into my yard. Or is a werewolf. Either option works.
Could be a dragon too. Yeah. "Those" romance novels. Usually it works out in them. Or at least it does in the ones I have read.
Real life. Phew. I don't know man. Last two weeks I've watched two marriages collapse. One that had been held together by duct tape and lack of better options for years. Another where it happen fast in what seemed to be a seemingly stable marriage. For strange reasons. Other weirder relationships going on with exwives. Dating in real time. Not against it. But, without emotional reading device it's pretty much impossible. Hold up emoji screen to woman. You are feeling what?
Then involve other things like money and health concerns. Along with their family problems and friends problems. Not that against helping others. But, mouchers annoy me. You help them they keep coming back. You don't help. You look bad and she's mad. No one wins.

I've always liked the romance novels. The family helps and love conquers all. Real world laughs at that idea. Chews it up and spits it out. Then crushes it under foot.

So be it.

 

[watersprite]

All I know about women I learned from romance novels and Austin Powers.

Why would you think anyone could use fiction (and try to) apply it to real life?
Sort if like substituting salt for sugar in a recipe.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I look at fiction about relationships as escapism. That's how I approach the slice of life anime that I like. Totally idealized where people are supportive and responsible and where idiosyncracies are tolerated and sometimes a strength. So divorced from a lived reality that I cannot see it as a touchstone about relationships. I see it as pure fantasy, nice for a quick escape, a lovely unreality.

 

[Tom]

Well you have to start somewhere. Just don't stop. It's a expansive subject and you can study it the rest of your life.

I think my ideas began gestate around age 6 with Lady Aberlin.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Did you read the novels by Robert jordan called the wheel of time?

 

[Fino]

Just ask how they feel. I'm constantly asking people questions about what they're feeling. No need to magically know by looking at them.

 

[Giant Hogweed]

Most women I've known, including my old therapist, would say women are complicated and that men are less so. The thing is we are biologically and emotionally, as men, most men, "programmed" to be attracted to women. It is how the species survives. Now I've had my fair share of encounters and relationships with women. I was also married for 24 years to one. So I think I know enough about women. So I'll say this, the stuff you read in books and see on TV is mostly romanticized stuff and not a true reflection. Women are human too and if you get a good one you are a lucky dog! If you get a bad one, you have my deepest sympathies.

If you want to get to know women, and if you can, join a club or something so that you are around them but there is no pressure to be anything. You'll get to know them that way. You'll see how they are with people and their cute side if they have one. Maybe one will take your fancy and they will like you too. Then you can have a cup of tea together and talk about stuff you do at the club. You're on your way then.

To the OP, I guess you're still feeling it after a break-up? Tough times but it passes.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I usually hang with the ladies at parties, they do not spend all thier time discussing sports .

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Old married guy here. 35 years of marriage this past July 11th. Learning about my autism has helped significantly with understanding why, even after all this time,...I still have zero idea what my wife is thinking. I don't get all the subtle social cues. I have to laugh at myself for knowing when I am NOT going to have sex,...but ZERO idea when I might. Even when I was young, fit, and handsome,...we get to drinking at a party,...perhaps a girl starts to get close to me,...and there I was totally oblivious. From what I have been told from other girls,...a lot of missed opportunities. Lucky for me, a girl saw through all that,...perhaps her growing up with a father and two brothers who were shy, nerdy, engineering types had something to do with that.

Knowing all this now,...really puts an extra emphasis upon detailed communication and never assuming anything. When we were new in our relationship, she used "soft" language and had this thing about expressing her wants and needs in a form of a question,...which I never understood and left me frustrated. Don't ask me "Why don't you take out the trash?" when what you really meant was "Take out the trash." Don't ask me where I want to go out to dinner, then reject my first 3 suggestions, when you already had a place picked out. Things like that drive me nuts. She is much more direct now.

The other part, which we both had to let go of,...fear and anxiety-based controlling behaviors. That will suck the life out of anyone. If you are up front, direct, and honest,...even if it hurts,...it goes a long way towards trusting each other. Basically, never lie. Sounds a bit strange because so many of us tend to tell those little lies, even those seemingly innocent ones,...but don't do it. The truth always comes out eventually. Jealously,...not a thing. It may seem like a disrespectful thing to let your eyes wander towards someone else,...but it can be quite funny if you are both on the same page and catch each other while sitting on the beach, in a restaurant, wherever. "Busted!" and we laugh. I know my wife has no interest in watching the latest Aquaman or Thor movies,...but she will go to watch those guys do those shirtless scenes,...it's kind of funny at this point.

I always have to go back to the science of knowing that there are over 100 known autism markers on the human genome. Autism has been around a long, long time,...and probably will for generations to come. Autism does present its relationship challenges,...but educating yourself, accepting yourself, adapting and overcoming,...and most of all,...have a sense of humor about yourself. If you are in the mindset of anxiety, withdrawal, depression,...don't count on anyone to look at you for a relationship.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Some good Advice the young guys here could learn somthinge. we been married forty years have My wife comes from a family of majority girls, Me majority guys

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I usually hang with the ladies at parties, they do not spend all thier time discussing sports .

+100! I find pro sports boring as one needs to be a freak of nature to compete. I like self-challenging activities, so people not talking sports are my kind of people.