All I do is work

[mw2530]

It seems like all I do is work. Basically I spend the majority solving other people's problems. That's a all job is when you break it down - someone pays you to solve a problem that someone else has. The problem that I solve for people? It is preparing tax returns for businesses and individuals so they don't have to worry about complying with the IRS and state taxing authorities. That's why this time of the year all I seem to do is work. So I don't have any time to work on solving my problems because I'm always working on solving other's problems. When is someone going to come along and help me solve my problems. I am pretty good at my job but it is disheartening to have little time for other things. It wouldn't be so bad, but I feel like I was robbed of a good chunk of the first 30 years of my life by not knowing why I was so different from others and why every day seemed to be such a challenge. Now it seems like I just have to wait longer to try and move my life forward b/c all I do is work. I am probably at the level of a 16 year old when it comes to some things like relationships. Because that is probably the age when kids start to date, etc. I know it varies, but I'm think that is about the average.

 

[Gritches]

When is someone going to come along and help me solve my problems.

Never. The cavalry isn't coming. Nobody's going to save you. So what are you gonna do about it?

But I can empathize. It feels like all I do is work, eat, and sleep. Like that's all there is to life. But lately I've come to realize that these feelings come from a good place - your mind seeks a higher purpose for being. You want more, you're hungry. There's got to be more to it than just sitting in a cubicle shuffling papers, right? Well there is. You just have to find it, because if you don't you'll just sink further and further into depression and hopelessness.

Find some meaning in life above and beyond the basic necessities of the work>survive>work>survive cycle and you'll find your happiness.

 

[Dorkasour]

As glitches said as well as what once told me "Nobody is going to save you. Nobody is going to hear you. You're going to have to save yourself"

It's cruel but it's true. It doesn't matter how long you wait nothing will be better unless somehow you change it. For starts a important step might be getting a therapist if you don't have one already

 

[Chance]

I feel for you, I really do... But these are those times that wear you down to make you grow, or become a victim of circumstance. My guess is your ready to grow and like me, your afraid of the unknowns.

I'm one of those people who has to study something from every angle, only to find out there are angles I never even knew about, but at that point its usually fly or die, sink or swim... Somehow I always grow into the next level to meet a next devil.

I wish I could tell you its all fun and giggles, but its mostly just hard work no matter what, and maybe the most important thing is how we perceive it. Maybe fixing peoples problems is your next million bucks... and you are just in training to handle the next level.

I'm not trying to cheapen whats bothering you. If its bothering you, then it needs real attention. I hope you find what makes you feel better soon. Your time will come, or you will have to make the time... : )

 

[SusanLR]

Find some meaning in life above and beyond the basic necessities of the work>survive>work>survive cycle and you'll find your happiness.

Seriously though, it's hard to find time outside of that
work, survive cycle.

 

[Progster]

Coming here and posting about this problem was already the first step towards addressing your problems and finding solutions to them.

 

[Gritches]

Seriously though, it's hard to find time outside of that
work, survive cycle.

It is, you're very right. I'm still learning how to deal with it, but I'm starting to realize that the time is a big factor. When I was unemployed, I could do what I wanted and do it all day. Now that I work full time, I have the weekends which are usually just filled with responsibility.

But I've got a little plastic solar-powered dancing sunflower on my desk at work. It just sits there all day, dancing. And when I look at it, I smile. I'm starting to think that's one of your sources of happiness when life is the way it is; unfun, busy, and full of responsibility and stress.

 

[Buzzerfly]

mw2530, are you the one who posted about the biblical end of days a couple of months ago? I saw it at 330 in the morning and wanted to reply, then it was gone.

Anyhow, don't feel alone in being robbed of your time as a clearer-minded person. Being on here is about as close as we can all get to doing something worthwhile...for various reasons. Is that kind of work wearing you down, or only time consuming?

 

[tducey]

Talking your issue over with people can help. Also budget your time a bit more so you can have some more time for you.

 

[mw2530]

mw2530, are you the one who posted about the biblical end of days a couple of months ago? I saw it at 330 in the morning and wanted to reply, then it was gone.

That was me. The thread should still be out there somewhere. I did not delete it.

 

[mw2530]

Is that kind of work wearing you down, or only time consuming?

It is both difficult and time consuming. I work on a lot of complicated items so it can get stressful. Actually the bigger problem in all of this is the fact that I continue to struggle with chronic insomnia. It is quite miserable to not sleep well, but then have to perform at a high level at work on a daily basis and work a lot of hours. I call it anxiety sleep? I fall asleep but it is a very light sleep and I never feel well rested in the morning.

All I want is to live a modest life - to be able to live healthy and take care of my mind and body, and to have some quality relationships including a mate. But even living a modest life seems unattainable right now. Well it seems that way because it has been unattainable since I graduated from college nearly 7 years ago.

 

[nowwhat]

Given that many, if not most aspies struggle with finding and keeping gainful and tolerable employment, you ought to remember to be grateful that you can and do work. As far as your problems, being employed has already solved a large number of problems you would otherwise have. Work sucks. It always has and always will. The only good thing about it is tha it is infinitely better than the alternative.

 

[Buzzerfly]

It is both difficult and time consuming. I work on a lot of complicated items so it can get stressful. Actually the bigger problem in all of this is the fact that I continue to struggle with chronic insomnia. It is quite miserable to not sleep well, but then have to perform at a high level at work on a daily basis and work a lot of hours. I call it anxiety sleep? I fall asleep but it is a very light sleep and I never feel well rested in the morning.

All I want is to live a modest life - to be able to live healthy and take care of my mind and body, and to have some quality relationships including a mate. But even living a modest life seems unattainable right now. Well it seems that way because it has been unattainable since I graduated from college nearly 7 years ago.

I know your position very well. I just want those things too. I have a mate, but we live a stressful life together. We both want what you want but can't get it now...its been a long road. Having a mate doesn't fill the void but it is nice to have a constant friend.

Frankly, your job sounds like it's killing you. Any other options.

I do believe it's the end of days, so perhaps there's a hopeful reason to help yourself get out of something harmful...

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

If your job is well-paid, can you afford to work part-time? Otherwise, a change of career to something more meaningful may help. However, no matter how much you love your job, you will always find it a struggle one way or another.
Try to do something nice when off duty, even if it's only reading or going for a walk. Listen to some music, get yourself some flowers, whatever does it for you.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Suck it up, save more money.

Make a long term plan.

 

[mw2530]

Given that many, if not most aspies struggle with finding and keeping gainful and tolerable employment, you ought to remember to be grateful that you can and do work. As far as your problems, being employed has already solved a large number of problems you would otherwise have. Work sucks. It always has and always will. The only good thing about it is tha it is infinitely better than the alternative.

I'm sure you mean well. But I'm kinda sick and tired of hearing the old be grateful and thankful for what you have yadddaaa yaddda yaddaa. I'm really not feeling that thankful right now for a very below average quality of life. I've spent my life watching my peers reach goals and life milestones while I'm stuck on the sidelines watching the years pass right on by me while being miserable. If you don't have your health, you really don't have anything at all. Nothing else really matters very much when you don't have your health, including having a job.

It was another crap day at work. Now I gotta go. I need to work some more. Lucky me.

 

[Sherlock77]

Any industry has busy seasons and slower seasons, you just have to ride it out...

I work in the recycling industry, our busiest? Immediately after Christmas... We are bombarded by recycling for three to four weeks... There will typically be a couple of Saturday shifts (meaning a six day work week)... I just have to hang on and know that things will get back to normal...

I've been in this industry for eight years now, and I always get a little depressed (not clinical, I don't think) as I see most people around me relaxing in that week between Christmas and New Year's while I'm working mega hours, but I always know there's a light at the end of the tunnel...

Tax season is only for a certain time period and then you can relax... And in the meantime try to find simple ways to enjoy things, even if it's just briefly, something is better than nothing...

 

[Pariah Dog]

It seems like all I do is work. Basically I spend the majority solving other people's problems. That's a all job is when you break it down - someone pays you to solve a problem that someone else has. The problem that I solve for people? It is preparing tax returns for businesses and individuals so they don't have to worry about complying with the IRS and state taxing authorities. That's why this time of the year all I seem to do is work. So I don't have any time to work on solving my problems because I'm always working on solving other's problems. When is someone going to come along and help me solve my problems. I am pretty good at my job but it is disheartening to have little time for other things. It wouldn't be so bad, but I feel like I was robbed of a good chunk of the first 30 years of my life by not knowing why I was so different from others and why every day seemed to be such a challenge. Now it seems like I just have to wait longer to try and move my life forward b/c all I do is work. I am probably at the level of a 16 year old when it comes to some things like relationships. Because that is probably the age when kids start to date, etc. I know it varies, but I'm think that is about the average.

Man I feel a lot of what you are saying. I know what it is like to have a 16 year old grasp of things like relationships much later in life (32 in my case).

I seems kind of profound to read about work the way you put it. "That's a all job is when you break it down - someone pays you to solve a problem that someone else has." That is the way the world has become. I was mildly shocked (is that an oxymoron?) to learn that the majority of people in developed countries work in some kind of office job. First of all I am a trades person and fairly removed from the "office world." But to think about that... how does a country run that way? Most people essentially aren't producing anything. Many are probably doing something very redundant. Isn't that almost like a false economy? Before the industrial revolution, the majority of people were employed by agriculture. The industrial revolution came along and eventually the majority became employed at manufacturing/production of some kind. But now, the majority solve someone else problems. Why does the someone else have that problem? Because they were trying to solve someone else problem... and so on end an endless rotating wheel. What a strange kind of existence.


Spending all your time working is something else I can relate to. The solution is to find a way out of it. How can your rise above? I might recommend a book to you that I read called "The 4 hour work week." It mostly seems to involve outsourcing your job to give yourself a ton of free time, and maybe become wealthy at the same time. I found it was not very applicable for a person like myself who works with my hands. An office/white collar kind of person however is the target audience.

 

[sisselcakes]

It seems like all I do is work. Basically I spend the majority solving other people's problems. That's a all job is when you break it down - someone pays you to solve a problem that someone else has. The problem that I solve for people? It is preparing tax returns for businesses and individuals so they don't have to worry about complying with the IRS and state taxing authorities. That's why this time of the year all I seem to do is work. So I don't have any time to work on solving my problems because I'm always working on solving other's problems. When is someone going to come along and help me solve my problems. I am pretty good at my job but it is disheartening to have little time for other things. It wouldn't be so bad, but I feel like I was robbed of a good chunk of the first 30 years of my life by not knowing why I was so different from others and why every day seemed to be such a challenge. Now it seems like I just have to wait longer to try and move my life forward b/c all I do is work. I am probably at the level of a 16 year old when it comes to some things like relationships. Because that is probably the age when kids start to date, etc. I know it varies, but I'm think that is about the average.

With the hopelessness you feel, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping, do you think you could have clinical depression? I know lack of sleep can do a number on you!

It sounds like you are talented in your profession, and you help a lot of people. But you deserve time too. Hope you can find a work life balance that helps you grow and evolve. It is possible!

We all go through a series of life crises. They are painful, I know! I’m not on the spectrum but I’ve struggled with depression since my 20’s and it’s been tough. Sometimes really tough to muster the energy to do ANYTHING except work.

Good luck and keep us updated

 

[sisselcakes]

It seems like all I do is work. Basically I spend the majority solving other people's problems. That's a all job is when you break it down - someone pays you to solve a problem that someone else has. The problem that I solve for people? It is preparing tax returns for businesses and individuals so they don't have to worry about complying with the IRS and state taxing authorities. That's why this time of the year all I seem to do is work. So I don't have any time to work on solving my problems because I'm always working on solving other's problems. When is someone going to come along and help me solve my problems. I am pretty good at my job but it is disheartening to have little time for other things. It wouldn't be so bad, but I feel like I was robbed of a good chunk of the first 30 years of my life by not knowing why I was so different from others and why every day seemed to be such a challenge. Now it seems like I just have to wait longer to try and move my life forward b/c all I do is work. I am probably at the level of a 16 year old when it comes to some things like relationships. Because that is probably the age when kids start to date, etc. I know it varies, but I'm think that is about the average.

One quick comment - most corporate jobs offer EAP services where you can see a therapist for a few sessions for free. You might find a therapist (who is familiar with ASD. That’s really important, I think!)