Age related social changes

[I love roses]

Anyine have a nice circle of friends that suddenly fall away? I had a nice circle of friends age 18-45.Then they all fell away. It was legitiment reasons caused by life, not rejection. Most had kids that had more extra curriculum from school. After that I never found another group.

 

[Tom]

Parents with kids tend to hang with others in the same boat. Similar situations and needs. Things in common seems the usual fuel for friendships. You can look for people in a similar situation to yours now.

 

[Nervous Rex]

There seem to be a few key points at which social circles can suddenly change:
- High school graduation, when everyone goes off to a different college or career.
- College graduation, when everyone goes off to a different career, back to college, or back home.
- Marriage, when all your single friends think you're trying to set them up because you invited more than one person over.
- Having children, everything changes when you have children.

Those are all I've encountered so far. I'm sure there will be others when people my age become empty nesters, retire, or start dying off.

 

[Judge]

Anyone have a nice circle of friends that suddenly fall away? I had a nice circle of friends age 18-45.Then they all fell away. It was legitimate reasons caused by life, not rejection. Most had kids that had more extra curriculum from school. After that I never found another group.

I've posted a number of times how adulthood itself can be injurious to friendships. People change jobs, they get married, they have kids or they just move elsewhere. Autism might compound friendships and relationships, but just the usual aspects of adulthood remain far more prevalent in disrupting or ending friendships.

It just happens. Making the notion of "friends for life" a tall order. Where in most cases those same people will simply fade away from your life for one reason or another, and not necessarily anything personal.

 

[I love roses]

Parents with kids tend to hang with others in the same boat. Similar situations and needs. Things in common seems the usual fuel for friendships. You can look for people in a similar situation to yours now.

i usually don’t throw people away though. We live in other states now. Their kids would be grown so lincould jump back in but now I’m gone. But i’ve heard some people don’t have time to maintain too many friends and actually limit their number on purpose.

 

[I love roses]

What I notice about the elderly when everyone is dying off is that they don’t feel well enough for company or going out and shut themselves in.

 

[Nervous Rex]

What I notice about the elderly when everyone is dying off is that they don’t feel well enough for company or going out and shut themselves in.

The book Algorithms to Live by explains that as we grow older, we tend to reduce the number of relationships in our life, keeping only the most meaningful ones. It's not an old-and-tired thing - it's actually optimal behavior to maximize the amount of enjoyment with the time one has left. If someone suddenly received an additional 30 years to their life expectancy, their attitude would change.

 

[Progster]

I was friends with one or two people in my final year at Uni, a loosely connected group of friends, but then I finished my course and everyone just moved on. I'm not imn touch with any of those people any more.

 

[Bella Pines]

about 6 times now. School friends, uni friends, work friends, mum friends. I want my next "friend" group to be up with my special interests, so am more picky nowadays.

 

[tducey]

I think once you turn 18 and leave high school that's a big social change. You go from seeing the same group of friends every day to not seeing them anymore. That's a big social change for anyone, Aspie or not.

 

[Pats]

There seem to be a few key points at which social circles can suddenly change:
- High school graduation, when everyone goes off to a different college or career.
- College graduation, when everyone goes off to a different career, back to college, or back home.
- Marriage, when all your single friends think you're trying to set them up because you invited more than one person over.
- Having children, everything changes when you have children.

Those are all I've encountered so far. I'm sure there will be others when people my age become empty nesters, retire, or start dying off.

Moving is a big one.