Academic perils of February 14, 1981

[Edward764]

About nine months after the note borrowing experience I related in an earlier thread a few weeks ago, some unlikely coincidences took place that completely altered my life path. These coincidences, however, would never have taken place without the note borrowing incident that induced me to change my major from Microbiology to Biology, which required an Ecology class.

It was July 1980,and I was hoping to experience some STEM satisfaction while taking two courses, one was Human Physiology, and the other Human Anatomy. Within a matter of seconds, this STEM satisfaction would be eradicated.
In July 1980, one of my pseudo friends called to ask me to be the best man at his wedding, which was scheduled for February 14, 1981. I accepted, but in a matter of seconds, that unpleasant and deflating chill permeated throughout my body, as I knew a synchronicity was eminent, which would cause me to lose all academic satisfaction, and the capacity to learn, over the next several months.
In order to pass the Ecology class, which I had to schedule in the Winter quarter, students needed to attend an all day Saturday field trip. This would keep me on schedule to graduate after six years in June, 1981. Immediately after accepting the best man offer, I knew it was likely that the field trip would also be on February 14. I knew this because this had been the nature of my existence.
In November of 1980, I decided to take matters into my own hands to negate this expected coincidence. As soon as the Winter schedule of classes came out, I walked into the graduate assistant's office, and asked her to please not schedule the field trip for February 14 due to my obligation. Not surprisingly, she responded " I'm Sorry, that is the only day available."
I now had a decision to make. Do I lose one of my best friends who I had known since 3rd grade, along with his brother, and his brother's friends, whose company I had enjoyed for years, or do I delay my graduation six months. This so called "friend", had actually stolen a record album and couple of magazines from me, but it was his brother and his friends that I did not want to lose.
I called my "friend" to explain to him that I might not be able to attend his wedding due to the conflict. He became irate, yelled over the phone, and wanted to call the teacher to give her hell. It was then that I made the poor decision to graduate six months late to be in his wedding. This "friend" was not school oriented, and I feared never being forgiven if I chose to take Ecology and graduate on time.
The most unusual synchronicity was yet to come.The Winter quarter began in January 1981,and I did not sign up for Ecology. However, for the first five days of the quarter, one could still add classes. As bizarre bad luck would have it, on the Friday evening of the last day to add classes he called to tell me that THE WEDDING WAS CANCELLED!

It was too late! Six months had passed since i had accepted his best man invitation, yet on the very first evening of the last day to add classes, he notifies me of the cancellation.
I graduated six months late for nothing, and after graduation, I worked at a restaurant that did not even exist six months earlier when I should have graduated. I was thus put on a completely different life course and many continued futile attrempts to obtain STEM satisfaction.

To be continued...

 

[Edward764]

I was now another step closer to emotional defeat, as I calculated the improbabilities. I had been in college for a scheduled six years, with no Saturday commitments. Now I had two on one Saturday. Since I had been in college for over 312 Saturdays, the odds of this part of the coincidence is "only" one in 300. Furthermore, over 200 days passed between the best man invitation and February 14, so the odds of learning of the wedding cancellation on the evening of the last day to add classes was over one in 200. Therefore, the probability of both events occurring were about 312 x 200, or one in 64,400.
Things would actually get worse. When I finally took Ecology in the Fall of 1981, I got a "C" instead of a "B" due to a highly unlikely event.
During the Ecology final, there were about 40 chairs that were all taken, and tightly stacked together. One of the women in the class brought her daughter to class, who was about eight or nine years old. Her daughter, as per my usual bizarre luck of course, sat in front of me. She had long flowing hair, which fell over the back of her chair and constantly waved back and forth across my test paper, and ruining my concentration.
Much like the note taking incident, this was yet another double distraction. There was the direct distraction of her flowing hair, and the frustration created by the violation of the laws of probability. What are the odds a woman would bring her daughter to class, in addition to the one out of 40 odds she would sit in front of me?

I finally graduated in December of 1981, six months later than scheduled, and my existence was altered as a result. I graduated with no knowledge or skill worthy of a decent career. I was 24 years old, but more bizarre and sequenced unlikely academic distractions awaited me, dozens more, as I stubbornly continued to waste time trying to find that elusive concept of satisfaction which was never to be.

In my two threads, this and the note taking experience, I have only touched the surface of my bizarre existence, which I truly hope I can some day put in a book, with a focus on academics.

 

[Fino]

Did of any of these events you consider bizarre have anything to do with graduating "with no knowledge or skill worthy of a decent career"? Is that a normal result for a Biology major?

The universe is vast and coincidences are happening at every moment. I hope I don't sound too harsh, but I don't agree that any event you have described is particularly unusual. Every problem was also entirely within your power to prevent or remedy.

Or do you know that and that's not the point?

It sounds a bit like your mind is desperately searching for an explanation for whatever it is that you're unsatisfied with at the moment. I don't believe anything that happened over 30 years ago is at all relevant to you today.

But maybe that's not the point either!

Anyway, good luck with everything!

 

[Edward764]

This is not normal for a Biology major, but of course I should never have been a Biology major.

If what you say is true, then there must be a reason I react to these events the way I do.
Your comment implies that a well adjusted individual would have dealt with these issues.

Of course these issues are only a fraction of my future writings, if they ever come to pass.

I was perceived as " functioning at a retarded level" when I was six years old by a medical professional. I was diagnosed with cross dominance, which made me awkward and uncoordinated.But I think there are other reasons for my perspective on my reality. Is it Autism? I do not know. It is one reason I am here.
If I ever get to write my book, I might find out.

One of my most painful realities is the realization there is not a soul on Earth who can identify collectively with what I have been through, or my perceptions of my reality.
There is no support group for someone with my issues, because I am so uniquely bizarre.

Misery loves company,and I have no company, and this hurts, knowing no one can identify with who or what I am.
As a result of this fact, I expect no sympathy, but I sure hope to get some explanations.

 

[Fino]

I agree that your perception is interesting, at least to me.

You can expect sympathy, you already have that. Empathy might be harder to find. I've never seen such over-analysis before. Freudian therapy comes to mind. I don't remember if you've mentioned before your experience with therapy. A good therapist seems like it'd be ideal for you.

 

[George Newman]

You have my sympathy.

Even though it may feel good to relate your experiences and frustrations here; to do so in the company of a therapist or counselor might be super helpful to find closure and a path forward.

Of course, you can continue your postings here as well. You have a clarity of thought and your feelings about your life happenings are real. I see this.

Good lock and be of good courage.

 

[Edward764]

From ages 12 to 37, I saw eight therapists, some for quite a few months, others only once.

The most helpful one was a parapalegic fellow who actually seemed to understand what I was going through. I saw him when I was 21 years old, which is before the incidents I related above took place.

But I experienced another poor coincidence involving him. He asked me to write down all the events and thoughts in my life that made me unique and bizarre. I wrote down about 350 things.
Even at this young age, I was considering writing a book, and called to tell him I wanted to make a copy of my list.
His wife answered the phone, and told me he was no longer counseling due to health issues. I asked if she could possibly find the list I made, but she could not.
I believe I had been seeing him for nearly a year, but as bizarre luck would have it, it was the day I called him to retrieve the list for me that I learned he had to retire.
I never got the list back; it would have sure helped me in my endeavors.
Not one of the eight therapists, even this great fellow, even came close to being able to help me.

The two incidents I related in my two threads have had a lasting effect on me, but they are only a fraction of who I am, and what I have been through.
I am a case study of one, which unfortunately makes me a challenging client.
I have not been to a therapist since 1994, and I would not even know where to start with anyone new.

 

[Fino]

Have you written a book yet? I've written my life story, sometimes with certain things changed and sometimes not, at least six times over the course of about ten years. It was very therapeutic. I finally stopped feeling the need to do it. Maybe something like that could be helpful for you.

 

[Edward764]

At age 30, I put my experiences and reactions to them on cassette tapes, totaling about 18 hours.

Certainly no one reading it would say " Yeah, I can relate to that.", but I think many would still find it interesting .
It might also be difficult to find a publisher for a book that has no precedent and no one can relate to.

I will retire in about four years, at least partially, and will then take actual steps to officially write.

Next up are my experiences with acting classes at University in 1985, when things came so close to normalcy.

 

[Fino]

I meant just write it, not for a publisher or with the idea of anyone reading it, but if you'd prefer what you said then go for it!