Over the last year and a half I have had a journey that I never though I'd have. I decided to share my story here in the hopes that someone facing my same situation might gain some insight into their own. I was working very happily with a manager with whom I had a good relationship. The work was good but had started to slack off. I was told that the team would be splitting and was asked whether I would prefer to go with the back end services team or the front end user interface team. I of course chose the first since that is where the bulk of my experience lies and where I feel the most comfortable.
On joining the services team I was assigned to a new manager. He seemed a decent sort right off and we got along well. The problem came in the way he "ran" his team. Work was basically put into a pile and the team instructed to "get it done". Tasks were to be pulled off the pile and worked in no particular order or priority. In my mind the result was chaos. Anytime I chose a task I was quickly informed that it was either a task that someone else would be taking due to some history or that it simply wasn't ready to be done yet. I had to consult every member of the team to learn the history and requirements before taking on any task. I had no actual personal connection with any member of his team and they all seemed to resent my presence for some unknown reason, making things even worse. My inability to navigate the intensely cliqued structure of the team resulted in my taking on only small insignificant stories. The stories were not well defined, organized or ready. When I expressed my concerns and struggles with the lack of team organization and the way stories were handled to the manager I was told that as a Senior Engineer I was expected to do it on my own and leave him alone. I lost count of the times I heard "Here's what I expect of my Senior Engineers...". I attempted on a few occasions to explain to him that attempting to interact with his team was like trying to reach through a series of running buzz saws to snatch out a piece of wood.
As a result, I went into a depression. I started showing up late for work and just going through the motions. This of course led to disciplinary action. At my wit's end I went to a Psychologist for some help. After our first session she recommended some testing. After a number of sessions of testing I was given the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder Type II. This was a game changer for me. I always knew that my mind worked differently than everyone else but I had no idea. Suddenly my inability to navigate the complex, multi layered and silo driven team dynamic was explainable.
It was at this time that a reorganization happened and I was assigned to a different manager. I was elated. The new manager was one with whom I already had a good relationship and we could move forward leaving my previous toxic team behind. I informed my new manager about my diagnosis and he seemed willing to work with me.
Things went well for a while until my new Manager began expecting things from me that I wasn't able to live up to. He expected me to take on leadership of the team. He expected me to actively mentor junior team members. My attempts to negotiate an accommodation with my disability failed. In one session I was yelled at, something that hadn't happened to me since childhood. I quickly realized that this manager did not want someone with Aspergers Syndrome for the role. He wanted a hard charging type A person. He wanted someone who would basically take over the team for him. I could not do those things and it led to a toxic and hostile work environment.
I did the only thing I could think of, I requested to be moved to a different manager. I was informed, though, that such a move was not possible and couldn't be considered until my organization hired a new vice president of technology. I was stuck. I avoided my manager as much as possible and just dealt with the crippling anxiety. This went on for 6 months. I was continually put off and delayed until finally after another reorganization we were put under a new group. Under the new group a VP was hired and I was told that finally I'd be moved to another team and out from under the hostile manager.
That's when the layoffs happened. Because of my status of not being on one team or the other and because I had a disciplinary record I got axed. I was the only one at my level who did, so I know why.
So that's my story. I found out why I was having so much trouble working for bad managers but the price I had to pay was my job.
On joining the services team I was assigned to a new manager. He seemed a decent sort right off and we got along well. The problem came in the way he "ran" his team. Work was basically put into a pile and the team instructed to "get it done". Tasks were to be pulled off the pile and worked in no particular order or priority. In my mind the result was chaos. Anytime I chose a task I was quickly informed that it was either a task that someone else would be taking due to some history or that it simply wasn't ready to be done yet. I had to consult every member of the team to learn the history and requirements before taking on any task. I had no actual personal connection with any member of his team and they all seemed to resent my presence for some unknown reason, making things even worse. My inability to navigate the intensely cliqued structure of the team resulted in my taking on only small insignificant stories. The stories were not well defined, organized or ready. When I expressed my concerns and struggles with the lack of team organization and the way stories were handled to the manager I was told that as a Senior Engineer I was expected to do it on my own and leave him alone. I lost count of the times I heard "Here's what I expect of my Senior Engineers...". I attempted on a few occasions to explain to him that attempting to interact with his team was like trying to reach through a series of running buzz saws to snatch out a piece of wood.
As a result, I went into a depression. I started showing up late for work and just going through the motions. This of course led to disciplinary action. At my wit's end I went to a Psychologist for some help. After our first session she recommended some testing. After a number of sessions of testing I was given the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder Type II. This was a game changer for me. I always knew that my mind worked differently than everyone else but I had no idea. Suddenly my inability to navigate the complex, multi layered and silo driven team dynamic was explainable.
It was at this time that a reorganization happened and I was assigned to a different manager. I was elated. The new manager was one with whom I already had a good relationship and we could move forward leaving my previous toxic team behind. I informed my new manager about my diagnosis and he seemed willing to work with me.
Things went well for a while until my new Manager began expecting things from me that I wasn't able to live up to. He expected me to take on leadership of the team. He expected me to actively mentor junior team members. My attempts to negotiate an accommodation with my disability failed. In one session I was yelled at, something that hadn't happened to me since childhood. I quickly realized that this manager did not want someone with Aspergers Syndrome for the role. He wanted a hard charging type A person. He wanted someone who would basically take over the team for him. I could not do those things and it led to a toxic and hostile work environment.
I did the only thing I could think of, I requested to be moved to a different manager. I was informed, though, that such a move was not possible and couldn't be considered until my organization hired a new vice president of technology. I was stuck. I avoided my manager as much as possible and just dealt with the crippling anxiety. This went on for 6 months. I was continually put off and delayed until finally after another reorganization we were put under a new group. Under the new group a VP was hired and I was told that finally I'd be moved to another team and out from under the hostile manager.
That's when the layoffs happened. Because of my status of not being on one team or the other and because I had a disciplinary record I got axed. I was the only one at my level who did, so I know why.
So that's my story. I found out why I was having so much trouble working for bad managers but the price I had to pay was my job.
