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A misfit within my own family....

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Stan Z., Jan 18, 2019.

  1. Stan Z.

    Stan Z. Active Member

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    Hey, everyone.

    Name's Stanley. I'm 18, and I'm a high school senior. I plan to go to college within the fall semester to pursue my career of graphic design. Currently in my last year of my high school career, I maintain a 90+ grade average (we use the 0-100 GPA scale in our school district).

    I'm also black (rare for an aspie, I know). I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome almost 6 years ago by a school psychologist, and all of my symptoms (talking/whispering to myself, mood swings, acting out what I visualize in my head, etc.) seem to ring true of the disorder. To this day, my Liberian dad (I'm part of the first American-born kids in my family along with my two smaller brothers) STILL can't believe I'm an Aspie because of the backlash in the Liberian community that my dad and now my stepmom (my previous mom died of liver disease back in 2014) they might get, because the community (and the American black community, as well) usually take mental disorders jokingly (which sucks). Just goes to show you how much of a lack of mental health awareness there is in minority communities here in the U.S. My dad thinks that nothing is wrong with me because when I was born, the doctor found nothing "mentally wrong" with me, or something like that....but I don't know. I've been in a mental hospital for three weeks due to severe depression back in 2013. I'm fine now, but I only got better due to my school psychologist (and other therapists that I've met) talking with me and helping me out with my social anxiety and whatnot in 8th grade. But I just feel like a recluse within my family circuit and the real world because of my upbringing with Liberian parents.

    It doesn't help make matters better when I'm a closet agnostic atheist in fear of my family disowning me. They're content with my political conservatism, though (lol). So yeah, I am a very, very eccentric person. I'm probably the only black agnostic atheist conservative (who's an Aspie) that you'll probably ever know.....

    How can I be able to enjoy a great adult life with my overzealous, heavily Christian Liberian family all over me? And you can pretty much forget me ever getting married since I don't think my personality has ANY commonality within any girl in America, and of course, my parents might have to know about her as well, so yeah. I'm single, confused, and (pathetically) lonely. Help?
     
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  2. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Stanley. You are right that you are the first black agnostic atheist conservative aspie I've met. :) But then I've never had anyone give a number of labels in their introduction, so I can't say that I'm 100% sure of that. :)
    Families have the most affect on us than anyone and it's a shame because all members of the same family are never the same and, very often, have absolutely nothing in common. Many here have problems with families, so you are not alone there. I'm glad you're here because I think you'll meet many others who you can relate to and who can relate to you.
     
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  3. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Stan and welcome to the community.

    Agree that it must be difficult to be so different from other individuals in your family. Yet I was too. So I understand a little how that is. There are lots of people here who will understand. Again welcome.
     
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  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Why is it rare for an Aspie to be black? I'm not really asking you, I guess, I'm just wondering.

    I had never heard of an "agnostic atheist" until now, and I just looked it up and don't get it. What's the difference between an agnostic atheist and an agnostic?

    Wouldn't a Christian family like political conservatism? I would think agnostic atheism would lean you towards liberalism, which seems more what a Christian family wouldn't like. Unless I misread or misunderstood something. :confused:

    "Single, confused, and lonely," is practically the motto for teenagehood! ;)

    I don't think one needs commonality with their partner. Differences can make it interesting, if both are mature and respectable. :)

    Welcome! Quack! :cool:
     
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  5. Stan Z.

    Stan Z. Active Member

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    Thanks for the friendly response. What I mean by being an "agnostic atheist" is that I believe that we may not know whether or not that some sort of higher power exists in the universe, but I am leaning towards no deities existing.
     
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  6. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    My family's been mainly supportive of me. It's to bad you and your family don't have the same relationship. Maybe talking things over would help repair your relationship with your family. I don't know but I wish you all the best.
     
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  7. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    The best advice I can give you is to work on becoming as independent as you can. Living and making money on your own. The sooner, the better.
     
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  8. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    If your personality has NO commonality within any girl in America, well then that means you should try:
    1. different countries
    2. Guys

    :D
     
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