My mother still brings this up to this very day, talking about how much I hurt her and about how she believes my anger came out of nowhere.
This was Christmas Eve. My mother’s side of the family was all there. My aunt, who sexually abused me when I was younger, suggested we pulled out my mother’s 18+ Truth or Dare tiles and play with them with four generations of family in the room. My mother agrees, and when I told her I wanted no part of it, her exact words were, “Shut up, you’re playing.”
Well, during this, my mother outed my homosexuality to family members who are extreme homophobes. And when one of the extreme homophobes received a tile daring him to rub noses with somebody else in the room, my mother giggled while suggesting he rubbed noses with the other extremely homophobic man in the room. I was disgusted.
After that appalling display of inhumanity, I pulled my mother aside and I told her I did not want to be outed like that. My mother responded by saying that she saw nothing wrong with being proud of her gay son. Funny, because when I first told her I was gay, she went behind my back and told everybody I thought I was gay but I was too stupid to know what I really wanted.
I then decided I was going to leave this gathering to hit an AA meeting. As soon as my mother heard that, she rallied up the family against me claiming that the meeting was not on because of the holiday (the meeting was still on), and claiming that blood family was more important than my sobriety.
A couple of days later, my mother gives me a call. I tell her she grossly violated my boundaries. She then says I am making mountains out of molehills. I hang up on her. Fifteen minutes later, she shows up on my doorstep. She is hysterical. She is claiming I should never hang up on her, and that I am overreacting to a silly little game. I told her my boundaries were important to me. She runs off crying. Then, two hours later, she calls me and asks me if my AA sponsor talked me into going it my antidepressant medications.
My AA sponsor then told me that I should not disown my mother over this because I was an alcoholic and therefore I was a lesser person than she was.
This was Christmas Eve. My mother’s side of the family was all there. My aunt, who sexually abused me when I was younger, suggested we pulled out my mother’s 18+ Truth or Dare tiles and play with them with four generations of family in the room. My mother agrees, and when I told her I wanted no part of it, her exact words were, “Shut up, you’re playing.”
Well, during this, my mother outed my homosexuality to family members who are extreme homophobes. And when one of the extreme homophobes received a tile daring him to rub noses with somebody else in the room, my mother giggled while suggesting he rubbed noses with the other extremely homophobic man in the room. I was disgusted.
After that appalling display of inhumanity, I pulled my mother aside and I told her I did not want to be outed like that. My mother responded by saying that she saw nothing wrong with being proud of her gay son. Funny, because when I first told her I was gay, she went behind my back and told everybody I thought I was gay but I was too stupid to know what I really wanted.
I then decided I was going to leave this gathering to hit an AA meeting. As soon as my mother heard that, she rallied up the family against me claiming that the meeting was not on because of the holiday (the meeting was still on), and claiming that blood family was more important than my sobriety.
A couple of days later, my mother gives me a call. I tell her she grossly violated my boundaries. She then says I am making mountains out of molehills. I hang up on her. Fifteen minutes later, she shows up on my doorstep. She is hysterical. She is claiming I should never hang up on her, and that I am overreacting to a silly little game. I told her my boundaries were important to me. She runs off crying. Then, two hours later, she calls me and asks me if my AA sponsor talked me into going it my antidepressant medications.
My AA sponsor then told me that I should not disown my mother over this because I was an alcoholic and therefore I was a lesser person than she was.
