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A defense of marriage

Discussion in 'Religion' started by Khendra, May 15, 2019 at 8:43 AM.

  1. Khendra

    Khendra Well-Known Member

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    I'm a Christian Aspie happily married to a non-theistic NT male. We've been married several years, but have known each other since 2004, and were engaged for awhile. Our relationship and marriage is a very beneficial one. This isn't to say it's been perfect, but the benefits FAR outweigh either of us being alone, and we take MUCH mental, physical, spiritual, and loving refuge in each other, and have corrected/learned from past errors. It saddens me to see so many eschewing marriage nowadays, an institution that has served humanity well for millennia, particularly when enacted for the right reasons.

    For further background context, I'm a Christian, and in the New Testament Bible, the Apostle Paul writes that the woman is commanded to submit to the husband, while the man is commanded to love the wife in marriage. Other religions also tend to place males at a certain degree of leadership or headship, with all the best-balanced interpretations also giving women worth, dignity, and some agency.

    I think part of the reason marriage is on the decline in Western societies is that we've eschewed these things, due to extreme feminism as well as extreme individualism, both of which value selfishness above sacrifice. My husband may not be theistic, but he's very loving. And I may enjoy certain privileges afforded to Western women, like college education, a job, and the right to vote, but I also highly value submission in marriage. (My husband actually wishes I would submit a little less and try to assert myself a little more instead of rely on his judgment so much, but he's otherwise quite content with my role.)

    I think there are also certain tasks that are broadly better suited to each gender. I emphasize "broadly" because I realize there are always exceptions when certain conditions and variables come into play. Nonetheless, generally speaking, women are better at household chores like laundry, cleaning, and doing the dishes, while men do better out in the working world with systems and such. (I'm a lot more systematic than the typical woman, hence my autism diagnosis, but I still cannot bring myself to reach the heights of the greatest mathematical and scientific achievements of the human male. I could probably have done coding, and maybe some forms of scientific research, but not to the extent of the best males in the fields.)

    So in summary, I would like to see less degradation of marriage from feminists and angry males. If these women and men would concede more submission and love, I think they'd see the benefits of what marriage was ultimately designed to be.
     
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  2. xudo

    xudo something

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    Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but if anyone (my husband included) ever told me I had to 'submit' to him, they'd get a swift punch in the chops.
     
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  3. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I feel the same way - but sad thing is that it takes both working together and it's hard to find that today. If men loved their wives as it states in the Bible - to love them as Christ loves the church. Jesus gave his life for the church. If men loved their wives so much that they would pretty much devote their life to the well being of his family, it would be easier for the woman to submit. Because if he gave his all to her she's going to want to give her all to him.
    There are some here that seem to have a very solid marriage and I admire that. But it always takes both to make it work. And it actually only takes 1 to make it not.
     
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  4. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I'm also married to an NT - been together 13 years and we have a totally equal relationship. We share all the chores of the house and no way is she better at any of them nor me better than her. She's a strong woman who has fought through adversity like I have and doesn't submit to anyone. We're happy as pigs in... a rewarding relationship. Marriage is not a bad thing but not everyone has the right mindset, nor the luck to find the right person at the right time. It's not right to criticise those of us who choose to marry, but it's equally wrong to assume those who eschew it do so for selfish reasons and not just circumstance or bitter experience.
     
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  5. H-Kath

    H-Kath Member

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    I mean, do what makes you happy. Why worry so much about others doing the same? If you're content to stay home and do chores that's your business. I genuinely hope you're happy. I do wish you'd not insist on others adopting your lifestyle though. That tendency is honestly the only problem I've had with Christians. Happiness isn't one size fits all.
     
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  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    When I see personalities like James Carville and Mary Matalin as a long-term happy married couple, sometimes I think all things are possible. Until I recall the most recent divorce statistics.

    I suppose in such instances that one must prioritize love above all other things for such a marriage to stand the test of time.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2019 at 11:23 AM
  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard

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    For me, relationships are all about equality as partners. But you do what makes you happy.
     
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  8. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I'm going to have to Google them now...
     
  9. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Post Google response...

    Aaaaah, I see what you're getting at!
     
  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. It's bizarre to see two opposing prominent political personalities married to each other. Where they can truly separate marriage from politics. Amazing, especially in such a contentious political environment.

    Though I suspect Matalin's positions on various issues have been more moderated over time where Carville is today every bit who he was in the Clinton era. In any event, they make their marriage work. :cool:

    And yes, to this day I can't honestly say that I understand it. :oops:
     
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  11. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I've seen him pop up on News reports and as a talking head many a time, but then even with my poor memory for faces, he's not an easy one to forget!
     
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  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    He strikes me as one with very good political instincts. While she...has learned the hard way who not to trust.

    In this instance perhaps some might consider this a symbiotic relationship of sorts, despite their ideological differences. That politics gets second place at best- and at all times.

    Perhaps we should also consider just how much Matalin's life changed forever the day she was willing to let two reporters from the Washington Post into her living room for a "chat". - Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. ;)
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2019 at 12:17 PM
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  13. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member

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    My wife and I are Christians, but I only brought that principle up one time. Some issue concerning finances. She said I was demon possessed and therefore didn't have to listen to me. And that was that.
     
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  14. Khendra

    Khendra Well-Known Member

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    Carville and Matalin do surprise me! I remember hearing of them awhile back. But yeah, if my husband and I can make it work, I guess they can, too. :)
     
  15. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

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    When I get married, I would just give my wife a choice, but, whatever.

    Also, can you cite the exact verse, please?
     
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  16. Khendra

    Khendra Well-Known Member

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    Sure thing.

    "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

    Bible Gateway passage: Ephesians 5:22-33 - New International Version
     
  17. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Who wrote that?
     
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  18. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Submission should probably stay within the realms of wrestling and m.m.a.

    I'd defer to Mr Gracey if he came up with a much better solution than my own or his knowledge of something in particular was greater than mine.
    (and I wanted to learn)
    As he would, me.


    When he walks in from work and (jokingly) asks " where's my dinner woman !?
    After his regaining consciousness I might (jokingly) reply 'it's in the dog"
     
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  19. Khendra

    Khendra Well-Known Member

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    The Apostle Paul.
     
  20. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Probably a man.
     
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