A confession

[dyl]

I really have no life offline. I have 0 friends in real life, all my friends are online. I have no significant other and never have had one, I cannot flirt or act social enough I guess. I usually spend my days just on my phone looking at different online sites I’m on and sometimes cry over not having IRL friends or a S/O. Just a very sad life, I don’t need any sympathy, I brought this on myself. Also, I’m not revealing my actual age but I am over 18 and under 25.

-dyl

 

[Rodafina]

I understand. I think you will find understanding for this here. That doesn’t minimize your struggle, sadness, or frustration, but you are not alone. No sympathy. Just understanding.

 

[tripleU]

That's ok. Do something else. Make a conlang. Make an app with a unique UI. Do something else. Draw buildings. Try designing things.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I really have no life offline. I have 0 friends in real life, all my friends are online. I have no significant other and never have had one, I cannot flirt or act social enough I guess. I usually spend my days just on my phone looking at different online sites I’m on and sometimes cry over not having IRL friends or a S/O. Just a very sad life, I don’t need any sympathy, I brought this on myself. Also, I’m not revealing my actual age but I am over 18 and under 25.

-dyl

Get outdoors, travel, go to a museum, find an outdoor hobby/special interest, do something. Seriously. Get off the electronic devices for a while. It's an amazing thing, the sun, it actually helps reduce depression, and you might actually meet someone. At the very least, if you're outside doing something, seeing things, exploring, etc. you won't be focused upon a lack of friends. Keep your mind busy on other things. I know it's a coping mechanism, but sometimes you might be walking along a beach picking up shells and rocks, hiking, finding waterfalls, etc., minding your own business, and out-of-the-blue, you strike up a conversation with someone.

 

[AdamG]

I really have no life offline. I have 0 friends in real life, all my friends are online. I have no significant other and never have had one, I cannot flirt or act social enough I guess. I usually spend my days just on my phone looking at different online sites I’m on and sometimes cry over not having IRL friends or a S/O. Just a very sad life, I don’t need any sympathy, I brought this on myself. Also, I’m not revealing my actual age but I am over 18 and under 25.

-dyl

I don't have any social contact in real life, other than I am married. She is my only friend, and I feel lucky. Other than that, I go to the store, I'll sometimes go out to eat if I'm restless. That's about it.
.
I would like that to change, a lot of it is my own fears and insecurities. And I will be patient with myself on that because otherwise I'll get overwhelmed.
.
The way I think, so long as I'm putting effort into self improvement and awareness, I'm moving forward. And the rest will come naturally.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I agree with @Neonatal RRT entirely! I avoided the social as a teen and young adult yet had the yearnings you have. How did I make progress, especially as I felt isolated and rejected?
- I submerged myself in my interests and activities, learning skills in activities that carried physical risk.
- I understood that I missed social cues. I read all I could about social communication especially body language.
- I learned to advocate for myself.
- I joined activity groups, among these the Michigan Minerological Society and Sierra Club. I practiced being social in these groups and made friends that I still have today.
- I learned to live independently and moved out of my parent's home.

The combination of learning the social and successes in basic research that I was doing at the time gave me confidence to start dating. I was hoping to find a woman who would like outdoor activities and ran into one who was hoping to meet a man she could do outdoor activities with. Together we have done Whitewater Open Canoe and SCUBA diving, among other activities.

ps. I did all that not knowing I am autistic, so I concentrated on results.

 

[dyl]

Thanks for the kind replies, another problem is I don’t have a car and I live in a small town surrounded by trees.

 

[tripleU]

Thanks for the kind replies, another problem is I don’t have a car and I live in a small town surrounded by trees.

You can do these things inside, your own garden. You don't have to go outside. You can make something new.

 

[AprilR]

Maybe you can join hobby groups or courses. I tried these for a while.
I also only have 1 friend irl, but i gave up on making more since there is no one i can connect with.

 

[Shamar]

I really have no life offline. I have 0 friends in real life, all my friends are online. I have no significant other and never have had one, I cannot flirt or act social enough I guess. I usually spend my days just on my phone looking at different online sites I’m on and sometimes cry over not having IRL friends or a S/O. Just a very sad life, I don’t need any sympathy, I brought this on myself. Also, I’m not revealing my actual age but I am over 18 and under 25.

-dyl

Having no friends is not something you confess, it is simply a statement of fact. I have no friends, except right here on this forum. And even those are not particularly close friends, although they were enough to get me through the holidays last year without antidepressants for the first time. You are not unique. I have virtually no social skills, plus a crippled mind which is unable to connect or bond with another person. Only after I was diagnosed was I able to come to terms with it. Yes, it is difficult and painful being lonely. If you are like me, you can choose to either accept it or do something about it. Either one reduces the pain.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Echo on above posts. The hobbies are the key to those relationship issues. Wierd stuff like cosplay, tabletop rpg, model making, and things more populist as well like bored games, bicycles and books. They give you something to talk about and more importantly some sense of satisfaction in life.