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7 year old befor

Kyla

Active Member
Hi, my seven year old son is currently in the beginning of being tested and when I say beginning I mean we have a scheduled appointment with a specialist. I almost feel like I'm tiptoeing on the edge of something I have no clue about. Like I have no right to actually be here yet I'm so unsure and confused when it comes to my oldest who is seven that here I am. Sure I've read the articles and researched as much as I can but no one am answer your questions like those who have actually experience it.
A little backstory as to why we have gotten here. My seven year old, while highly intelligent, struggles both socially and emotionally every single day, he's been diagnosed with ADHD, but it in no way covers the things he goes though, he is also in no way hyperactive, though I know some kids with it aren't. He is however highly sensitive to both loud noises and heat, luke warm is scalding to him, when he was a baby he screamed in every bath like I was burning him, it took me longer than I wish it had to realize that a room temperature was the only way to go. My son also thrives on routine, for example bed is at this time it must be done in this way and in this order. If it doesn't well let the meltdown begin. Emotionally my son seems to be younger than my youngest who is five, he will have a full on melt down over something so small, if anything goes a way that he didn't expect. Sometimes these meltdowns will involve a shut down of sorts, while this means we are done talking and will ignore every one, run away, or just lay on the floor, this last one actually got him kicked out of the first school he was in, because they were frustrated with the amount of time they spent trying to get him to participate. It was the best thing that could have happened because his new school is highly structured and rather strict on rules and he is thriving remarkably, just not socially, he wants so badly to fit in and while he does have "friends" they seem to just out up with him, I've watched him, he just doesn't know how to fully interact with others. However he has no idea that they get annoyed with him in anyway. He also gets obsessed with things, lately it's asthma, I have asthma and this winter it got annoyingly bad, well he has decided he wants it, he literally repeats over and over he wants it, he asks millions of questions about it and truthfully drives me a tad crazy with the whole thing! Ha ha! I've known something is up since he was tiny but I've been having a hard time with his pediatrician, while I love her, it feels like she's incredibly hesitant to even say autism, I've brought it up, after his grandmother who works in a school for children with special needs as aid told me she had concerns, and my sister hesitantly told me she thought the same thing, his doctor however said that there was no way he could have autism, because he gets jokes. Yes he certainly does, I'm fact he loves them like any other kid. He will also look me in the eye as long as he's not uncomfortable and he seems ok with touch most days, though when in a meltdown, watch out, he also does pretend play and can build anything with instructions, another obsession of his. He functions pretty well mostly as long as things go that certain way so my be I'm wrong, maybe I'm just connecting the wrong dots, maybe it is just ADHD, though I don't know of any sensory issues with ADHD. I'm a little lost, the thing is though as my youngest gets older and matures himself, I can see the differences between them and while I know each child is different, it just is too different. Any way I'm sorry this is so long but any insight would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!
 

Sev

Well-Known Member
Hi, my seven year old son is currently in the beginning of being tested and when I say beginning I mean we have a scheduled appointment with a specialist. I almost feel like I'm tiptoeing on the edge of something I have no clue about. Like I have no right to actually be here yet I'm so unsure and confused when it comes to my oldest who is seven that here I am. Sure I've read the articles and researched as much as I can but no one am answer your questions like those who have actually experience it.
A little backstory as to why we have gotten here. My seven year old, while highly intelligent, struggles both socially and emotionally every single day, he's been diagnosed with ADHD, but it in no way covers the things he goes though, he is also in no way hyperactive, though I know some kids with it aren't. He is however highly sensitive to both loud noises and heat, luke warm is scalding to him, when he was a baby he screamed in every bath like I was burning him, it took me longer than I wish it had to realize that a room temperature was the only way to go. My son also thrives on routine, for example bed is at this time it must be done in this way and in this order. If it doesn't well let the meltdown begin. Emotionally my son seems to be younger than my youngest who is five, he will have a full on melt down over something so small, if anything goes a way that he didn't expect. Sometimes these meltdowns will involve a shut down of sorts, while this means we are done talking and will ignore every one, run away, or just lay on the floor, this last one actually got him kicked out of the first school he was in, because they were frustrated with the amount of time they spent trying to get him to participate. It was the best thing that could have happened because his new school is highly structured and rather strict on rules and he is thriving remarkably, just not socially, he wants so badly to fit in and while he does have "friends" they seem to just out up with him, I've watched him, he just doesn't know how to fully interact with others. However he has no idea that they get annoyed with him in anyway. He also gets obsessed with things, lately it's asthma, I have asthma and this winter it got annoyingly bad, well he has decided he wants it, he literally repeats over and over he wants it, he asks millions of questions about it and truthfully drives me a tad crazy with the whole thing! Ha ha! I've known something is up since he was tiny but I've been having a hard time with his pediatrician, while I love her, it feels like she's incredibly hesitant to even say autism, I've brought it up, after his grandmother who works in a school for children with special needs as aid told me she had concerns, and my sister hesitantly told me she thought the same thing, his doctor however said that there was no way he could have autism, because he gets jokes. Yes he certainly does, I'm fact he loves them like any other kid. He will also look me in the eye as long as he's not uncomfortable and he seems ok with touch most days, though when in a meltdown, watch out, he also does pretend play and can build anything with instructions, another obsession of his. He functions pretty well mostly as long as things go that certain way so my be I'm wrong, maybe I'm just connecting the wrong dots, maybe it is just ADHD, though I don't know of any sensory issues with ADHD. I'm a little lost, the thing is though as my youngest gets older and matures himself, I can see the differences between them and while I know each child is different, it just is too different. Any way I'm sorry this is so long but any insight would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!

I was surprised when I read that the doctor said "there was no way he could have autism, because he gets jokes." In all honesty that is the dumbest, illogical, and uneducated statement from a doctor I have ever read.
Autism affects people differently. There it is, in one statement. In some cases the person suspected of having autism "fulfills" many of the symptoms, and in other cases it doesn't. In this case the diagnosis could be even more complicated and ambiguous due to the child being diagnosed with ADHD - which may not be prevalent or even present (a possible miss-diagnosis, however, my word is nowhere near as reliable as a psychiatrist with experience in the Autism spectrum, so take it with a grain of salt).

Asthma is one pretty strange obsession but then again, many of us have had strange obsessions. The first thing I would suggest is to identify if he is really "obsessed" with asthma, the word is thrown around in society so often, that it loses emphasis. For example, when I was obsessed with spiders (one of my strange obsessions as a child) I quickly obtained an almost encyclopedic knowledge on every species present in my country. This type of obsession is completely different to the average Joe (a random persona) being 'obsessed' with a TV show, when in reality, Joe only has a faint interest in the show. By the way, it might be wise to lend him a few books on his selective interest so that he learns at his own pace and you get to maintain your sanity :)

Personally, I have only had around nine meltdowns in my life (they were bad though), the majority of the time I shutdown and disconnect. Because of this, I can't really provide an opinion on the subject of meltdowns, but perhaps another member here might be able to provide some insight into the subject for you.

On the note of the pediatrician, she might be afraid to misdiagnose him as someone on the Autism Spectrum, maybe? Judging by her comment regarding "jokes" I would say that she has very limited experience with people on the Autism Spectrum. In all honesty, I've come across a number of autistic comedians that have a strong sense of humour (however strange it might be) and often confuse me, as I don't possess the same gift (I do tend to miss a number of jokes). nowwhat (just had to tag you here). There is also a stereotype that Aspies do not understand sarcasm, but I tend to use it quite often in real life.

Judging from what you've written, there is legitimate reason to question whether or not he is on the Autism Spectrum. I am concerned when you type "it just is too different", well, maybe he's trying to make up for all the boring people in the world! :D
I would highly recommend to read through the forums here particularly threads about various symptoms such as eye-contact issues, friend-issues etc and furthermore, there is also a wonderful section of resources located
here --> Asperger's & Autism Resources | AspiesCentral.com Check it out, it will probably be helpful.

I do have a few questions which might help in providing further insight:
Is he often in his own world?
What other obsessions did he have?
Did it take him longer to learn to speak, when compared to other kids his age?
How does he act when routine is threatened?

I would also suggest seeing a psychiatrist specializing in children with Autism if such services are available in your area. I'm actually quite happy to see a parent taking the initiative and researching about this.

Good Luck and if he is diagnosed, support him as best you can!!
 
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