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49 Years old (closer to 50) and just diagnosed

jmnick

New Member
Hi everyone,

As it says in the title, I'm an older guy that just got diagnosed. I had some work issues that prompted me to look into Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I recently received the report and am diagnosed with ASD (Level 1). My RAADS-R score was 89. Even though it looks like my career is pretty much over and I am going to have to find a new way this late in life, at least my formative years actually make sense to me now.

Discussing my diagnosis with my wife and daughters was pretty interesting. They were rather unimpressed and said it doesn't change anything. I guess they really do love me for all of my differences.

I look forward to trying to interacting with folks and hopefully be able to provide something positive to the community.

If anyone has any questions, I am will discuss just about anything regarding what led up to the diagnosis or anything else.

J
 
Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)

Yes, even with your diagnosis, you're still the same person you were prior to it.

We've got many other members here, even a couple staff members, who've gotten diagnosed later on in life as just like yourself.
 
Hi jmnick

welcome to af.png
 
Hi Jmnick, and welcome. I AM curious about what led your work to your getting a diagnosis. Because I was a nurse at a hospital for 15 years and a couple times a boss insisted I go for counseling or something, which one of them told me they couldn't require it. But I did go and both times I masked, as I did in all areas of my life, and the therapists always thought I had absolutely nothing wrong with me and had it completely together. I was a good actress. :) Diagnosed at 59, almost 3 years ago - my own decision. It was hard for me to be completely honest about who I was and what went on inside my head.
 
Welcome to the forum.

I am 65 and also recently diagnosed, so as Gadabout said there are a number who are of a certain age.
 
Warm wellcome to the forums

Like others alredy have said . Youre still the exact same man that you were before youre diagnose so if you alredy have a Job you like and things work then just continue .

This diagnose is just a piece of paper helping you & those around you to now make since of why you have had /have certain problems in life. Its not a certificate saying youre an idiot or you cant work were you do just because youre now you are diagnosed with ASD 1 ;)
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I certainly do appreciate it. I understand that I am the same person I have always been. The world actually makes a little more sense to me now.
 
Welcome! I'm happy that your family responded the way they did. My boyfriend was equally unimpressed and didn't care about the new label. In typical man fashion he rolled up his proverbial sleeves and wanted to know what we were going to do to make life easier on us.
 
Hi Jmnick, and welcome. I AM curious about what led your work to your getting a diagnosis. Because I was a nurse at a hospital for 15 years and a couple times a boss insisted I go for counseling or something, which one of them told me they couldn't require it. But I did go and both times I masked, as I did in all areas of my life, and the therapists always thought I had absolutely nothing wrong with me and had it completely together. I was a good actress. :) Diagnosed at 59, almost 3 years ago - my own decision. It was hard for me to be completely honest about who I was and what went on inside my head.

Pats, I am happy to write about it. I am a healthcare provider in the U.S. Military. I'll leave the branch out to try and keep a little anonymity since my specialty community is very small.

For the last 2 years a colleague, someone whom I thought was a friend had been keeping notes on everything that I said that could be construed as offensive. I believe that when it was beneficial to her, she complained to command and presented them the list. It started a huge investigation and they went as far back as 2015 to find people that would comment about inappropriate statements I had made. It was very disheartening because no one ever mentioned to me that my speech was inappropriate or that I needed to modify behavior, all of a sudden it was the nuclear option. It was a beautiful hatchet job by my command, as my attorney said.

Anyways, when I was presented with the findings from the investigation, I was floored. I had no idea or clue that my interactions and words were taken as offensive. I actually thought I was relating appropriately with people. Apparently not.

A started to try and figure out why I had such a different perspective than others and how I could have been so clueless as to peoples response. That search brought me to look into ASD. I took just about every online screening I could find and then had my wife and kids answer based on how they know me. All of those screenings came back fairly certain that I have ASD.

I reached out to a local university that has an autism center and the wait was 18 months for an evaluation. They sent me a list of providers that specialize in adult evaluations and I made the appointment.

I just hope the Military will take into account ASD and go light on the punishments. Either way, my military career is over, either because of coarse speech and crude jokes in an attempt to relate with people or because I will have to go through a medical evaluation board because ASD is not a condition I can serve with. I just want to keep my retirement and benefits intact.
 
@jmnick thats a terrible thing to hear about your job, and what your colleague did to you!
I hope the military will go easy on you. It would be terrible to lose your job over this.
 
Wow. That is sooo not right. It should have been brought to your attention long before and be given the opportunity to correct it. But it does seem like you get one or two people against you that make it their ultimate goal to do you in. I hope things work out to the best for you.
 
Thank you for the support.

Like I said before, the diagnosis actually has made a lot of things in my past make sense.

I always had a difficult time making friends or being able to not be Why I didn't do well in grade school and managed to convince the teachers that I should hang out in the library instead of recess and listened to Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and the White Album repetitively on the phonograph with headphones, how I had to have snack time in the mimeograph room with a 1/2 peanut butter sandwich and little pull tab can of Mott's apple juice.

Junior High and High School were pretty much hell. A series of getting into fights a lot. Poor performance on task completion or if it was a class I didn't see the point in, I did the bare minimum for a D. I only dated one girl in High School and she didn't even go to my High School.

I had a very small group of friends, mostly from my church youth group that tolerated me (thankfully). They would always kid me that the thought of talking to a girl would wither me, even though I look like a large tough guy.

I had so much trouble trying to ask a girl out on a date that I just couldn't hardly do it. My mother actually set me up with my wife. Both of us went out with the other just to make her be quiet about things and ended up hitting it off. Apparently my undiagnosed ASD actually came in handy. She thought she broke up with me, but apparently I didn't get clue and kept calling and writing letters like normal (pre internet days) after I went back to the military post about 500 miles away. Luckily she just decided to give me another chance. :)

I always found jobs to be around people as little as possible. Night warehouse work, delivered newspapers, etc.

I enlisted in the service I am still in back in 1992, but I didn't socialize with anyone in my unit except for one person.

Got into my field because it can limit the manner in which I interact with people and my specialty because I only have to wear a mask of "normalcy" for a short period of time. Also moving about every 4 years was helpful as well.

Now, all of that stuff makes sense in the retrospectoscope. The other nice thing is that I am actually a little more open to hearing what my wife has to say about things because I know my thought process is a little different than most peoples.

I look forward to being here and not having to worry about being the weird guy, odd-ball, geek, freak, jerk etc.....
 
For the last 2 years a colleague, someone whom I thought was a friend had been keeping notes on everything that I said that could be construed as offensive. I believe that when it was beneficial to her, she complained to command and presented them the list. It started a huge investigation and they went as far back as 2015 to find people that would comment about inappropriate statements I had made. It was very disheartening because no one ever mentioned to me that my speech was inappropriate or that I needed to modify behavior, all of a sudden it was the nuclear option. It was a beautiful hatchet job by my command, as my attorney said.

I had the exact same thing happen to me in middle school(called jr. high back then). During the last semester, I had racked up over 32 discipline notices written up on me over that time and I was never told, let alone, confronted about it the whole time. It wasn't until the end of the school year that the whole thing went nuclear on my ass. The situation was so bad that they wouldn't let me back in school the fallowing year. This resulted in me being put in both a catholic school and a boarding school for a year.
 
Pats, I am happy to write about it. I am a healthcare provider in the U.S. Military. I'll leave the branch out to try and keep a little anonymity since my specialty community is very small.

For the last 2 years a colleague, someone whom I thought was a friend had been keeping notes on everything that I said that could be construed as offensive. I believe that when it was beneficial to her, she complained to command and presented them the list. It started a huge investigation and they went as far back as 2015 to find people that would comment about inappropriate statements I had made. It was very disheartening because no one ever mentioned to me that my speech was inappropriate or that I needed to modify behavior, all of a sudden it was the nuclear option. It was a beautiful hatchet job by my command, as my attorney said.

Anyways, when I was presented with the findings from the investigation, I was floored. I had no idea or clue that my interactions and words were taken as offensive. I actually thought I was relating appropriately with people. Apparently not.

A started to try and figure out why I had such a different perspective than others and how I could have been so clueless as to peoples response. That search brought me to look into ASD. I took just about every online screening I could find and then had my wife and kids answer based on how they know me. All of those screenings came back fairly certain that I have ASD.

I reached out to a local university that has an autism center and the wait was 18 months for an evaluation. They sent me a list of providers that specialize in adult evaluations and I made the appointment.

I just hope the Military will take into account ASD and go light on the punishments. Either way, my military career is over, either because of coarse speech and crude jokes in an attempt to relate with people or because I will have to go through a medical evaluation board because ASD is not a condition I can serve with. I just want to keep my retirement and benefits intact.
 
Welcome to this forum! Your experience I think is more common than people realize. People over age 50 might be at higher risk, particularly if you are earning good wages.

I can somewhat relate to this, as something similar happened to.me at age 54. I was fortunate to find another job, though I am underemployed. Seven years later, at 61, I am not complaining though. By the way I have never been diagnosed, and I hope to keep it that way.
 

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