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45, female & newly diagnosed

L

ladyhawke

New Member
Hi everyone,

as the subject of this thread says, I'm newly diagnosed. I had sort of suspected for a while. I read an article about Hannah Gadsby's autism, thought is was interesting and googled a bit about how autism presents in females. I related to most of it, and then read Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx. It was like someone read my mind and wrote all the things I experienced and never talked about!

I emailed a clinic that specialised in women and girls with autism and was offered a diagnosis session two days later as they had a cancellation (normal waiting list is 6 months). Long story short, I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD - the second one was a surprise but makes total sense.

I haven't told anyone besides my husband while I grow into my diagnosis. I feel like I have suddenly been given glasses and now can see my life and myself clearly. I grieved that I would never be able to fix the way I am because I've devoted a lot of time to self help and therapy. I had a big cry but now feel more at peace because this is how I am wired, and this is how I am meant to be. Now I have to learn how to live with my diagnosis. I've always felt like I have heaps of potential but not able to get anywhere, had lots of issues dealing with people, and also dealing with my own emotions which are really intense.

This is my first connection with others on the spectrum. After a couple of weeks of sitting with it and obsessively thinking about it, I'm ready to say hi and excited about being here. I'm looking forward to meeting other people in a similar situation.
 
Hi, welcome. Quite a few of us middle-aged/older folks here. I'm one, I like that expression you used "grow into my diagnosis"... it does take a little while to adjust to having an explanation. One of the things for me was letting it sink in that I'm still the same person I always was... that knowing this "new thing" doesn't suddenly mean I'm a different person.

Anyway, before I get off on a ramble... again, welcome.
 
Crossbreed said:
Hello & welcome.

How is he taking that revelation? Could he be on the spectrum, too?

If you are in the USA, I have a LINK to resources that can help both of you. (Some are still informative, otherwise.)
Click to expand...

Hi Crossbreed,
not sure if he's on the spectrum but he's happy within himself and really accepting of me and my diagnosis, which is helpful.

I'm in Australia but I will still check out the links, I love information. Thanks for posting them :)
 
Hi ladyhawke

welcome to af.png
 
Hello and welcome @ladyhawke

I was diagnosed later in life so I understand what you're going through.

Unlike you, I hadn't been diagnosed with anything prior. I always knew I was 'different' but no one from the medical profession would accept my 'differences' and I was just fobbed off.

I hope that you find the forum a useful resource. You'll definitely find quite a few people on here who were diagnosed around middle age.
 
ladyhawke said:
Hi everyone,

as the subject of this thread says, I'm newly diagnosed. I had sort of suspected for a while. I read an article about Hannah Gadsby's autism, thought is was interesting and googled a bit about how autism presents in females. I related to most of it, and then read Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx. It was like someone read my mind and wrote all the things I experienced and never talked about!

I emailed a clinic that specialised in women and girls with autism and was offered a diagnosis session two days later as they had a cancellation (normal waiting list is 6 months). Long story short, I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD - the second one was a surprise but makes total sense.

I haven't told anyone besides my husband while I grow into my diagnosis. I feel like I have suddenly been given glasses and now can see my life and myself clearly. I grieved that I would never be able to fix the way I am because I've devoted a lot of time to self help and therapy. I had a big cry but now feel more at peace because this is how I am wired, and this is how I am meant to be. Now I have to learn how to live with my diagnosis. I've always felt like I have heaps of potential but not able to get anywhere, had lots of issues dealing with people, and also dealing with my own emotions which are really intense.

This is my first connection with others on the spectrum. After a couple of weeks of sitting with it and obsessively thinking about it, I'm ready to say hi and excited about being here. I'm looking forward to meeting other people in a similar situation.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the forum! I like the term you used as it feels like putting on a pair of glasses and seeing for the first time. That is exactly how I felt when my son was diagnosed, all of a sudden everything became clear as to why he felt certain ways or why he said things or did things in his way. Being on the other side of things, and knowing why my son did or said things in his way all began to open up to me. It was like meeting your real son for the first time. I have learned a lot on this site and also the nice thing about this site is to see how others feel and if they did the same things. I felt the same as you said "growing into the diagnosis" Little by little learning to deal with certain things. On the flip side of this you can deal with things better knowing... without knowing I couldn't tell if he was just being rude if he didn't answer me, or lazy etc....knowing opened up his world to me and how he functions. The hard part as I have said many times is my son is very intelligent so I felt nothing was wrong with him, never really understanding that his brain is wired differently until the diagnosis and also meeting people on his site explaining some things to me!
 
Hello and warm wellcome to the forums

As i said to many in here before. Nothing has changed just because youre now diagnosed . youre still the same person as you were before All this means is that you now have piece of paper that can help you and or if needed the medical faculty and of course those close around you to understand & help others understand and the medical faculty to be able to find help /support if needed. Thats all. So try to relax and give this time to digest & dont try to over think it or panic . Try to just accept it is what it is & work with youre diagnosis rather then against them and then you can continue youre life :)

Oh and above all DONT feel ashamed or think youre stupid or less intelligent or worth less. because youre NOT

If you check my Signature you see im also both ADHD & ASD ;) its not that uncommon in having both (more or less the norm actually to have minimum 2 diagnosis and especually reg ADHD and ASD.
 
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Wow, thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I really appreciate it and it feels great to be surrounded by people who get how I experience life.
 
Welcome ladyhawke!

I'm also recently joined up here, but mostly self-diagnosed just this year (at 40).
Seems like a pretty great community here from what I've seen so far. I think you'll find lots of similar people here. :)
 
Hi and welcome. I self diagnosed, after doing decades of therapy and personal development, and yet had found there were certain core areas I was still working on, and still people were offering advice that was very basic, that I had tried decades earlier and that was fruitless for me. Similar to you, I came across information about women on the spectrum, initially read Aspergirls then Sandra Hendrickx and others, and the specific areas I had found no answers for, were explained at last.

It does take growing into, realising what you may have been masking and doing by rote without really it being part of you. But also, for me it offered a key to find strategies that work for me in areas where I wasn't getting anywhere, or even just to accept, this is how I am in this area, and it's ok. I see neurodiversity such as high autistic traits or Aspergers as natural variation, as difference, not disorder.

I hope you enjoy it here and find plenty of useful information and threads to read and respond to.

:lollipop::watermelon::strawberry::redapple::cherries::shavedice:
 
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