12 Stepping

[Metalhead]

As many of you are already aware, I am a very active 12 stepper. It basically means replacing empty addictions with a community and a Higher Power. Not for everybody, but it is working out great in my case.

It is somewhat cultish, but it is a cult that encourages personal growth and discourages destruction of self and others. I can’t exactly argue with that point of view. If only we could all be like the Blue Oyster Cult in our sobriety, that would be amazing.

I am a strong believer in the 12 stepping method to work one’s way out of addictive behaviors, but I am also aware it is not the only recovery game in town. I was wondering if others here have had experience in the 12 step circles and what the experiences were like.

 

[Alexej]

I have no experience of 12 step programmes, but have a high regard of the process from other folk who are active with 12 steps

 

[Starfire]

I didn’t enjoy it at all. I’ve been in a 12 step treatment centre which was ok, but meetings were a different experience.

There are too many huggers there for my liking and if it’s not hugging it’s endless handshakes, I don’t enjoy physical contact from my family never-mind complete strangers. I found people very intense and in your face, almost demanding constant eye contact or else one appeared shifty or hiding something, like a sly relapse. I also wasn’t comfortable with all the god/higher power stuff and despite being told it wasn’t essential, it isn’t really possible to move or progress through the steps without a belief. Ultimately the whole thing is based on the Oxford Society which was a Christian organisation after all.

The 13 stepping is also something which is very active in some groups and very disturbing considering vulnerable people, generally woman are prayed on by people often with considerable clean time, apparently. It’s a big issue but is usually brushed under the carpet.

I wasn’t keen on the whole sponsorship arrangement either personally, but I can see how it might be helpful for some.

I also didn’t want to be part of a community, I’m a very private person and perfectly comfortable in my own company and feel no need for contact with other people.

So, if it works for you then great, it works for those it works for, but it doesn’t for those it doesn’t. Fortunately there are many alternatives these days for people that need that sort of thing when once it was 12 step or nothing.

Incidentally, I think it’s very brave of you to admit it’s cultish which it undoubtedly is, because you will never hear that said out loud at a meeting and any newcomer who might say it would quickly be shut down.